Yielding to the Chair

Link to today’s strip.

ACTUAL FW CONTENT:

Oh, good grief, what crap.

ORIGINAL POST:

As is usual, Sunday’s strip was not available for preview so you get another of my ramble-o-thons.

I’m sure it hasn’t escaped anyone’s notice that last week’s arc consisted entirely of people sitting around while things happened elsewhere.   In fact, near as I can tell, almost all of Funky Winkerbean consists of sitting around and talking about things happening elsewhere.

Even when people do act, they don’t do so because they want to, but because someone else is forcing them.  Funky went to the fitness center not to get in shape, but because his wife wanted him to.  Similarly, Holly goes around and collects comic books not because she likes them (though this being Westview I’m sure she’s a huge fan, pun unintended), but to take her mind of Cory’s situation and to “feel closer” to him.   Even the epic trip to Kilimanjaro came into play not because it was a planned-out adventure, but because Les won an unwanted prize.  The only action anyone takes is making someone else do something.

What does this say about the strip, where no one has any motivation whatsoever except to sit in chairs and chat?  Think back on Les’ epic struggle to write a teleplay for a book he’d already written, and a life he’d already led–months and months of staring at a screen because he lacked the merest shred of motivation (don’t tell me the garbage about being “unable to capture Lisa’s thoughts,” that’s an obvious and exceptionally poor excuse).  That seems to be the Funky Winkerbean world in a nutshell.

I’ve never read the “Lisa’s story” arc in its entirety and I have no desire to, but I’ll assume for the sake of argument that it was well-told and affecting and give Tom Batiuk whatever kudos he wishes for telling it.  When it failed to win a Pulitzer, did that knock all the wind out of his sails?  Perhaps he told himself, “I gave them a good story about terrible things that really happen to real people, and they dismissed it–well, the hell with it then.  I’m tired of trying.”  Because it sure seems like the strip has been on auto-pilot since I’ve been reading it.

Last week’s story reminded me of the Gay Promaggedon series–I came into the SoSF orbit around the tail end of that–in that there was a very slow build-up that promised a real payoff…and the payoff never came.   Or rather, it did come, but it was such a let-down that it might as well never have been hinted in the first place.

Then there are the stories that just stop.  I’m still curious about Becky’s mother.  She hasn’t been seen since Becky told her father to stop filming.  It makes me wonder if whole strips, or whole weeks worth of strips have been lost in the mail.   Or perhaps rejected by the syndicate–“Gee, Tom, this week’s worth of Becky’s mom being pushed out of the scissor-lift, hitting the ground and bouncing into a dead heap is pretty interesting, but it’s a little too gruesome to run on the comics page.”  “Oh, okay, just run the strips for the week after that.  The only people who’ll notice are really beedy-eyed and they don’t have any jobs.”

It’s been said from time to time that Tom Batiuk is probably unhappy that the strip is called “Funky Winkerbean,” since that takes focus away from Les.  I wonder if he wished he’d ended the strip when Lisa died.  He could have then restarted Act III with the same cast, but under a different title.

My suggestion would be Sittin’ Around.

PS:  Hm, this is only my 60th post?  It sure seems like there’ve been thousands…

Move Toward The Light

Link To Today’s Strip

Hands up, everyone who didn’t see this coming a mile away.  Let’s see–that’s one, two, three–OMG, you people are going to have to see me after class if you have any hope of passing the mid-term.  Or that kidney stone.  I’ll let you choose which is less painful.

Of course, if, in a strip from next week, Cory returns home and, before it can land, that helicopter blows up, why, that would be great and I would personally buy Tom Batiuk a beer.   Of course, odds of that happening with the sacred cast are probably as close to zero as you can get without squinting.

Now if, as some have speculated, Rocky ends up dead or maimed, well…she’ll fit in nicely with Kerry, Carla, that biker dude who sold comics, and the rest of the anonymous horde who only serve to illustrate the troubles of the Funky Winkerbean cast in a greater arena before disappearing into their respective hells.   IE, it might be used to briefly illustrate a point, but then they and their sufferings will be shuffled quietly off-stage, never to be seen again.  After all, Les Moore, after all.

And before you ask, yes, I was going to call shenanigans on Holly’s surprise, since her cellphone probably flashed “Cory Winkerbean” when it rang, but…then I thought, perhaps Cory is using someone else’s phone.  Or perhaps the Winkerbeans never store anything in their contacts, or use different ring-tones, or any number of other stupid reasons why I hate writing about these people.  It is, after all, evil technology(R)(C), use of which is prohibited.

The wrap-up, here, of this arc (I am being optimistic) illustrates one of the major problems this strip has–it’s so static.  Nothing ever really changes.  Oh sure, Khahn moves away, Dopey Pete moves away, Cindy moves back…but those are all relatively trivial.  Since the death of Lisa, Tom Batiuk seems to have decided that this strip is just going to drift along on weak wordplay, smirks and depressive smacks to the head until someone in quality control notices what they’re paying for.  I guess payments for Funky Winkerbean are like the paychecks for Milton from Office Space.  Someday, someone will fix the glitch.

Perhaps I’m just someone bummed out because my favorite character, the Pouncing Darkness, is brutally dispatched over the course of today’s offering.  Farewell, Darkness!  I’ll–I’ll never forget you!  And I’ll vote for your Pulitzer!

The One Ring

Link To Today’s Strip

Yes!  My favorite Funky Winkerbean character ever, the Pouncing Darkness, makes his appearance brilliantly in the last panel–crawling toward Holly as the phone begins to ring.

In ordinary circumstances, I guess this storyline would resonate with folks who have loved ones overseas in combat zones.  One would never know from moment to moment what might be.  Every news story might contain heartbreak, every phone call might be the beginning of regret and mourning.

The thing is, though, this is Funky Winkerbean.  The story will play out as lame, predictable and underwhelming.  Three things that people in dire circumstances don’t really need.

I will give Tom Batiuk some slight credit here and say that his heart is probably in the right place.  However, using Cory Winkerbean as an object of sympathy is never going to play.  He was a rotten kid before he went into the army, and while the army may have changed him for the better, it would be good to, you know, actually show us this.  Even though that–actually showing something–goes against the very nature of this strip, still, a leopard should at least try to change his spots, before deciding it can’t be done…

Away in the Shadows and Oncoming Dark

Link To Today’s Strip

I guess the idea here is that Cindy was about to say “next of kin” but caught herself at the last moment.  That seems obvious, very obvious, and I only bring it up because the ellipsis in panel two should really be followed by a double-dash in panel three.

I suppose, given how swiftly the Darkness seen yesterday pounced and surrounded her, Tom Batiuk was lucky to get any dialogue in before she was snatched into the void.

And I’m going to say that I do like the direction this arc has taken–not the trivial story elements, of course, but the way Tom Batiuk has shown each character ending up swallowed in darkness.  It’s brilliant and should happen more often.

And in the Darkness, Bind Them

Link To Today’s Strip

Again, another baby step.  The suspense would be killing me…if it wasn’t resting on the sofa, eating chips and watching Three Stooges shorts while I’m over here trying to type.

I do like how the darkness just encroaches, panel by panel, until Funky and Holly are completely surrounded, and about to be blotted out of their sorry existence.  I’d like to offer some genuine, non-ironic praise for Tom Batiuk’s artistic choice in rendering today’s effort.  Well done!