Make Like an Ape, Man

It’s my call and I have to tell you right now that covers with gorillas on them are total locks.

Tom Batiuk, 1/6/18

I doubt that today’s strip (or anything in Funky Winkerbean) accurately depicts the way comic books are produced in the real world…I mean, you come up with a “flagship title” after you’ve launched the company? I do think that what’s reflected here is Batiuk’s own creative process, wherein he paces the floor and muses out loud (or maybe TB’s got his own Cosmic Treadmill), before settling on some half-baked, flimsy premise, and then hollering “YESSSSSSSS!!!” so loudly as to attract the attention of passersby.

Speaking of comic books, guest author comicbookharriet serves up the snark for the next two weeks. Bon appetit!

It’s Just the Wasted Years So Close Behind

Link to today’s strip.

So:  this makes a walloping four times a strip has been unavailable for preview during my latest hosting period.  That’s gotta be a record of some kind.

Of course, two of those times were Sundays, and Sunday’s strips are always unavailable for preview.  Because why should he give us time to point out the shortcomings practically leaping all over his work?

Over at Shankcraft, for example, Apple Annie is about to sign her first author:  Lillian.  But–

–didn’t Ann have Les as a client?  It seemed only a short eternity ago that Lillian was hosting Les’ launch party for his book about John Darling, who was murdered.  I thought the story was, Les, seeing as he and his book were both garbage, tossed his manuscript into the trash (where it belonged, and where it was happy*).  Ann, then a bag lady, fished it out (making it unhappy) and got it published (terrifying it), thus leading to the greatest display of egomania ever shown on the comics page.  Way to go, Ann.  Thanks (said all sarcastic-like).  But no, apparently continuity is for losers if you can score cheap points about schizophrenia.  It’s supposed to be touching, but it shoots right past maudlin and treacly and lands right in the middle of gorge-rising.

Why is it that Tom Batiuk is completely incapable of creating sympathetic characters?  Does he think, “Well, she’s got a terrible mental condition, readers will love her, because they won’t dare not!”?  Someday I’d like to ask him about his methods, and I don’t mean that as something nasty.  I’m honestly curious about how his mind works.

Anyway, based on what’s coming next week (trust me, it’s not a superpower anyone wants), I’m thinking Sunday will be a stand-alone strip.  I’m going to take stab and guess Funky’ll be in it.  But who knows?  All we can really say is that it will be uninteresting in every aspect.

And speaking of next week, my time in the chamber of horrors has come to an end, for now, so please give a warm welcome to your next host, snarker extraordinare Epicus Doomus!

*I have an idea about a children’s book, about a manuscript that knows it’s bad, and wants to be thrown away, but it keeps getting passed from hand to hand until it’s published.  It has a happy ending, in that no one buys it and the author never tries again.  Does anyone have Ann Apple’s phone number?

The New Post Office Arc!

Link to today’s strip.

Chuck Ayers is back doing the art, at least for this week, and his stuff is much better rendered than Buchett’s has been lately.  It’s still not what I would call good, but it at least looks like effort was put into it.

It’s amazing that Tom Batiuk has so much going on that he has to farm the artwork out to three different people, yet he can’t concoct an engaging storyline to save his life.  Take this one–so Dullard is off to the post office.  I remember one time someone went to the post office, and it blew up!  “USA!  USA!”  The last time Dullard went, though, he took weeks to open a letter.   I doubt we’ll get any explosions this time around.

These characters have the astonishing super-power of being totally boring at all times.  I’d rather see Funky at the gym.

Clotting with faint praise

180708Rip Tide Scuba Cop has never looked better than he has in today’s strip, which would be high praise for Mindy’s coloring skills if this wasn’t issue #2 of the title.

That’s more than can be said of Pete’s writing… Why Rip Tide did not assume that antibodies would be apt to attack him, as they do to germs and other foreign substances in the bloodstream seems like a rather foolish call on his part. It also seems like this will be an expensive cover to print, requiring a special cut for the thought bubble that hangs off of the side. Chester may have to sell some more of his collection.

And with that, I leave this gilded site and the mucky comic strip that it covers in the extra-capable hands of comicbookharriet. Best of luck, hope you don’t get any Les strips.