Bedside Manor – Page 11 – Son of Stuck Funky

Snore Ensemble

Just a few short years ago, Pa Bean was suffering from dementia so severe he could do little more than mutter incoherently. But now, just completely out of nowhere, he’s a lovable wisecracking old coot who can suddenly read music, play the trombone AND smoke cigarettes (and possibly the funniest character in the strip as well). Once again Batiuk uses “tragedy” to wring out a few dollops of cheap easy pathos, then reverts to his wordplay and pun-filled natural state while ignoring the character history he himself established. He basks in the attention he gets for the subject matter then he abandons it after it’s served its purpose (talking points for boring interviews). What a hack.

We also see another one of his diabolical little “writing” tricks on display as well. Instead of telling one of his inane little stories from start to finish like a normal person, he inexplicably hopscotches around from story to story in a random way (as you’ll also see next week when you’re saying to yourself “oh yeah, THAT thing again”). IMO he does it deliberately for the purpose of confusing and alienating potential readers so they’ll avoid the strip thus making it easier to churn out this idiotic drivel while exerting as little effort as is humanly possible. It’s all part of the scam. It has to be.

And this f*cking Dinkle asshole. Remember when he used him to wring a little more of that aforementioned pathos out of him by causing him to go deaf? Now, of course, he’s an “adorable” old coot, beloved by all despite being a real jerk most of the time. And he apparently hears just fine now. Now THAT’S Batiukian. It’s a certain indefinable quality that separates FW from things that makes sense and entertain.

So lesson one is: if you’re suffering from Alzheimer’s or profound hearing loss, head on over to Westview where miracles await (not applicable with cancer, that’s a crap shoot). Lesson two is: if you’re looking to find out just how little momentum a “story” can have, welcome to paradise. Likewise if you’re looking for poorly-realized (and very stupid) characters, godawful “writing” and/or truly terrible jokes, puns and gags that center around idiotic bits of dumb wordplay. It’s also terrific if you’re the sort of person who enjoys the beginning of stories but not so much the middles and the endings.

Yikes, that was a lot of complaining over a relatively inoffensive piece of FW claptrap, eh? Oh well. Stay tuned, as the Original SoSF Guest Snarker DavidO makes his triumphant return.

Gingivibrato

Harriet Dinkle, an unseen character throughout Act I, gets lots of panel time in today’s strip. I am pretty sure she had more lines back when she was drawn like a Peanuts adult, though, and the adults in Peanuts never had to put up with jokes at the expense of people who have crooked or no teeth.

Oh look, it’s raining, like it did at every single one of the Battle Of The Bands that Dinkle conducted. This running gag is more of a crawling gag these days.

One last thought here, should I be concerned that my iPad’s Autocomplete recognizes the word “Batiukmobiles”?

I hope everyone here has a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend. Thanks for putting up with me for the last couple weeks. The great beckoningchasm takes over tomorrow, on Memorial Day proper, always a big day for this strip…

Deaf-con Five

In today’s strip, Dinkle learns that there are two kinds of people in the world, those that can magically eliminate their hearing loss by forgetting about it and those not named “Harry Dinkle”.

I very much like the final panel today, or rather, the implications of it. Not only did Dinkle’s high schoolers not listen to his direction, he apparently believes the full-grown adults in the Wally plot device community band don’t either. That makes three separate bands that don’t listen to him. I see a common denominator.

Identify-ku

“Trombone Morty” was
Original post title
for Today’s strip post

Already did a
Trombone Shorty pun Monday
Hate redundancy

There are fewer words
Than you might think that rhyme well
With the word “shorty”

Morton Winkerbean
On trombone reminds Dinkle
Of Wally, I guess

Earl Campbell is not
Impressed with Mort’s name, nor with
Director Dinkle

Shout at the Dinkle

Today’s strip reaches a level of trippy surrealism that even Heathcliffe’s current descent into nonsensicality cannot match for madness. Admittedly, I am not much of a Mötley Crüe fan, so perhaps Nikki Sixx and Mick Mars both attempting to play and chew on the same guitar is their MO. However, what the third Google Images result for “Mötley Crüe” is doing next to an image of Franklin Roosevelt (with his trademark cigarette holder photoshopped out) boring Funky’s dad and a couple other octogenarians is beyond me.

Also, it’s another Throwback Thursday!
Guess what TB was publishing on this very date back in 1983?
If you guessed essentially the same “Ha! band kids don’t practice!” shtick he was doing on Monday, you win one of several internets.