In a Barb Wire Fence, Fatally Tangled

Link to Today’s Strip.

Hey, way to be the ultimate douche-bag, Les!  Don’t tell your “friend” about the sports car as you approach it (or, if it’s driving, approaching you) so that he could easily see it.  No, no, wait until you’re both past it, so he’ll have to turn around to see it and halt his momentum.  That’ll teach him to be a fat slob of a loser!

I guess the “joke” was on Les, though–his Expression in Panel Two looks like someone who is stunned that his get-the-fat-guy-to-turn-around scheme has had no effect.

And this strip is yet another in which there is absolutely no content.   No attempt at a joke, nothing that’s supposed to be “meaningful,” just another week of naught tossed off in a matter of house, then tossed into a drawer to be brought out and printed when snarkers derail your planned Ghost Lisa appearance.  (I’m assuming.)  Nothing to think about, except 1) who “shoots” an episode entirely from the back like this (although I guess it saves having to draw a nifty car), and 2) I wonder who went to all the trouble of shoveling the sidewalk so neatly.  I mean, look at that–someone did a really good job shoveling, and just the sidewalk, too.  Not like a homeowner shoveling his way from door to walk, just sidewalk all the way.

Anyway, that’s all I see here.  And as it’s hard to criticize something that has no substance at all–neither good nor bad–I have to say, well played, Tom Batiuk.   You’ll get to that magical 50th yet!

The Nitwit’s Guide To The Funkyverse

Link To Today’s Strip

Owen: the dirty-looking one with the goofy hat.

Cody: Owen’s pathetic sidekick who rarely gets dialog these days.

Alex: the girl!

John: Becky’s husband, owner of Komix Korner, all-around putz. Known as Skunk Head due to the hair.

Komix Korner: Westview’s premier creepy comic book shop and main loitering spot for local losers.

Holly: Funky’s wife, slow on the uptake, needs a real hobby.

The answer to the ultimate FW question? Zero times zero equals zero.

Hmmm, when did they legalize weed in Ohio? I can’t bash this one too much as it’s an upgrade over the last two week’s worth of aimless pointless meandering. At least there’s sort of a point, kinda. Although if you’re not familiar with Douglas Adams, you’re obviously going to be lost here. But hey, they’re discussing a NON-comic NON-Les book here, so let’s just enjoy it for variety’s sake, OK? This might not happen again for years, if not decades.

Grand Theft Humor

Link To Today’s Strip

Special thanks to TFH and the SoSF staff for everything they do!!

BanTom suddenly abandoning a premise he spent weeks setting up is certainly nothing new in the Funkyverse, he does it all the time. It’s called “writing”. It’s also annoying. But I forgot all about Mason Whatshisface as soon as I tried to decipher today’s brain-damagingly bizarre strip. The Jumbler? Finley’s Pharmacy? Holly pretending to be surprised by the sight of those two morons doing everything but working? What the f*ck?

Then I heard from the crack SoSF research team who informed me that within that massive wall of expository jibber-jabber lurk a few Dick Tracy references, which means that the long-rumored and much-dreaded Dick Tracy super mega crossover arc may be upon us…RIGHT NOW! For those of you not familiar with pop culture fads of the 1940s, Dick Tracy is a comic strip detective of some kind who regularly does battle with comically-named foes like The Jumbler (no doubt named for his propensity toward never properly organizing his comic books). I’m hoping this arc somehow involves Westview’s super-villain Dick Face, the man who paralyzes his foes with rage and disgust. “Watch out for the park bench, Mr. Tracy, it’s a trap!!”.

And once again Holly comes across as a total imbecile. I mean obviously they’re going to a police auction to bid on a huge lot of vintage comic books because of course they are. Duh. They’re not eating pizza or loitering around in that creepy store, so where else would they be going? To the library? The bank? To buy new clothes or fitness equipment? Home to their wives and families? Not bloody likely.

Oh, Mickey, You’re So Fine

I guess Batiuk’s not gonna bother refreshing our memory about this Mickey character, or how she, a kicker, scored the winning touchdown 11 years ago. He’s content just to have her mentally undressed by a locker room full of teenage boys while her stepdad looks on.

Gang, that wraps up my turn in the SoSF barrel for now. Be sure to tune in tomorrow when a brand new surprise special guest author steps into the breach for the next couple weeks!