Tag: Cody

The Candyman Can

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, well you look at that!  Glasses is so psyched to get a sale, he’s actually going beyond expectations–as if he’s actually trying to achieve something, and improve his lot in life through his own efforts.

Compare and contrast that with Les’ endless whining about Hollywood, Dopey Pete’s endless whining about writing–horrible crybabies who want the world handed to them, and assume a smug self-righteousness when no one acknowledges their needs.  In both cases, it just makes you want to throttle them over and over.

Nice going, Glasses.  It’s possible he may become…gasp…a likable character after all.

(I’m not really betting on it, but there’s always hope.)

Craigslist

Link to today’s strip.

I honestly don’t know anything about “senior class trips” so I don’t know if Craig’s question has a legitimate basis (“Can a senior still go if he’s in danger of flunking?”) or if this is just more “Today’s Kids–the Marching Morons” that this strip loves to toss onto today’s world.

A better question might be something like, “If you’re so gifted, Mr. Moore, why are all your students still idiots?”

As ever, the students are all clueless while the staff are cynical saints, weary of the impossible task of imparting knowledge.  Does anyone remember Funky Winkerbean back in the Act I days–wasn’t it the reverse?  The staff were all cynical tight-asses, dedicated to stopping fun, while the students were happy free spirits?  Has Mr. Batiuk’s dim view of high school aged along with him, so that the heroes have shifted sides?

It’s something to ponder, from a strip that offers pretty much nothing to ponder, other than “Why is this still happening?”

Anus Major

“In a spirit of generosity”, Tom Batiuk really should put down his Funky felt tip, retire “Funky” and “Crankshaft”, and free up some real estate for some new talent in the fading genre of daily newspaper comics. TB waited almost a month to squander another Sunday’s worth of ink, newsprint, and Photoshop effects on a followup to Kablichnick’s Ursa  Major “joke”. In today’s retelling, however, “Jim Twain” goes with our bobanero’s (funnier) punchline. Not so fast, teacher! Even dim Owen realizes we’ve heard this one. And it sucked. “But no, my friends,” teases Jim, in French to be extra condescending; he then recites the joke and delivers the punchline like a steaming turd before smirking blissfully and hitching his suspenders (the science teacher’s “mic drop”). Cody is appalled by this microaggression; deadpan Alex declares Jim to “comedically on fire” while visualizing him to be literally so.

Your genial host is “comedically extinguished” after serving as your host these last two festive weeks. Thank you, readers and contributors, for visiting and supporting the web’s premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark, Son of Stuck Funky. I’m pleased and proud to preside over one of the smartest and funniest online communities I’ve even partaken in. The comedically sur le feu Beckoning Chasm takes over Monday. Happy 2016! —Votre ancien assiette en porcelaine, TFH

Age of Dulltron

Above: my rendition of Owen’s rendition of the Captain America theme song from the 1960’s cartoon. Click here to see the “real” strip, it’s a hoot.

A bunch of kids sitting around talking about comic book movies.

And when I say kids…well, Owen remains a freckle faced, towheaded kid under that smelly chullo. Cody, meanwhile, appears to be about 37 here. Don’t get me started about Alex, who has the sketchiest timeline of all: she first turned up at Pete’s book signing eight years ago (nearly two years before we were introduced to C&O). Her model sheet on the official FW site’s “Meet the Cast” page (archived for ya here!) gives no clue to her age, but of course now she’s been established as a high school chum of the boys.

And what about that big Baby Huey lookin’ “boy” with the weird hair, whom they do not permit to sit and join them at the table for whatever weird game they’re playing? He was 38 however long ago Act III began, now closing in on 50 and still hovering around teenagers and chiming in on their conversations.

Anyway, the new year is upon us, Sunday is my birthday, life in the non-Funkiverse is pretty sweet. Enjoy the weekend before we commence whalin’ away at 2016 in earnest!