Darin – Page 59 – Son of Stuck Funky

Punchcraft

Well, this raises a few questions. What “disruption” is Darin talking about? When Jessica says they’ll “catch up” with him, does that mean a later flight? Or is she not going to California with him? Is she aware that Funky is preparing to rent the apartment out from under her? Not that her situation merits a single thought from anyone, since she’s a female–and we all know how important they are in this strip. Still, it would have been nice to see some of this “disruption” rather than that damned wentletrap Les waving his operculum around the last couple of days. I guess we get the fun of guessing what the “disruption” was.

Lost Skyler’s Batman-themed diapers.
Frankie showed up again, asked for a “cup a coffee.” None could be found.
Someone’s father was murdered.

What do you want to bet we’ll never know?

I dunno about the rest of you, but I find Darin such an unbelievably boring character–who at the same time, manages to be insufferable–that it’s hard to find anything to say about him. To the best of my (admittedly not very extensive) knowledge, he has accomplished nothing of note in the strip. Yeah, there’s the Pizza App, but that has had zero impact, other than as the butt of several jokes. He’s like a gangly, angular construct of ambulatory meat.

At least the other characters have interests, even if those interests are nothing more than comic books. At least that’s something. Darin seems to exist in a shell where he’s nothing more than the sacred essence of Lisa. I guess, in the viewpoint of some, that’s all you need to be to be considered worthy of attention–you’re somehow under Lisa’s shadow.

Punch Me to the Moon

Link to today’s strip

Yeah–that sounds exactly like the way publishing must work. Let’s take a book that’s already completed and put it aside for a book that’s barely begun, and might take (agonized) years to finish. In the meantime, the folks who put literally moments into illustrating the first book will wait patiently to be paid. This is as close to real as it gets, folks! After all, if top-of-the-bestseller-lists author Les Moore isn’t handled properly, and given all the time he wants to mediocretize, he might skip to another vanity press! Heavens!

Notice how in just one day, the focus has switched from Darin’s Californian Adventure back to Lisa. That Pulitzer nomination must be the bitterest flavor Tom Batiuk has ever tasted. Notice, too, that Cayla shows up just now so she can be further humiliated and placed at the back of the bus so Lisa can ride up front. I find it very difficult to feel sympathy for her, however, as this is a bus she chose when she fought to get Les as a prize.

I take it back. The failure of the Pulitzer committee to notice that Tom Batiuk had married his most wondrous character ever to a black woman–that taste must be bitterest of all.

Empunchable You

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, BChasm back for another stretch driving the Funky Phantom. In today’s episode, the most notable thing is another amazingly punchable face by Les in panel three. It’s so punchable, in fact, that it looks as if Tom Batiuk beat us all to the punch (so to speak) and just kept punching. I’ve never seen a visage as scrambled as that, outside of Beetle Bailey after Sarge scrunches him to the ground.

As to the “content,” why would Darin ask Les about his Hollywood experience? I’m going to assume for the sake of argument that Darin actually wants to work on this movie, and to see it through to completion, thus possibly getting a good-paying job. Les, you’ll recall, worked tirelessly to torpedo his movie and make certain that Hollywood would never call him again. It’s hard to think of a greater example of non-success, or, to give it its proper name, failure. Unless Darin is planning on doing the exact opposite of everything Les says, he’s doomed.

The feeling on my part is that the movie won’t be made anyway. Given the absolute sacredness with which comic books are viewed in this strip, coupled with how Evil Hollywood always wants to alter the purity of the material it has been given, means that all the cast and crew will resign en masse in order to keep from sullying the wonder that is Starbuck Jones. If it doesn’t come from Les, it’s not allowed to happen.

By the way, I think I’ve figured out what it is that I dislike most about the art in this strip as it appears throughout Act III. It’s not the smirks, it’s the half-lidded eyes, the ones that seem to be carrying on their own conversation. “You know, right?” “Of course I know. And you know, too.” It’s that unspoken superiority to all things that is totally unearned. It makes me want to punch Les all the more, although all the characters do it.

Darin To Be Stupid

In today’s installment, Darin has his recent life choice validated by a guy who is the antithesis of every person ever depicted in a Coffee Achiever commercial.
And… that’s it. Frankly, I’m surprised Crazy’s dream career arc is aimed as high as it is.

All this talk of storyboarding, however, has reminded me how much Act III Crazy looks like the late Jim Mateer. Mateer was TB’s high school art teacher and an accomplished artist in his own right. He had a week-long appearance in FW back in 2006, painting several lovely murals on Montoni’s walls, murals that appear to now sit under 3 and a half coats of Sherwin-Williams’ Urban Putty.

Storybored

Today’s strip is simultaneously one of the most realistic and unrealistic FW strips in recent memory.

That a film studio outside of The Asylum (and maybe not even them) would hire a pizzeria manager to draw storyboards for a movie, even a straight-to-cellphone one, is tremendously unrealistic of course.

That Jessica is super eager to pack up her young son and everything they own and get out of Westview as fast as possible… Does this make too much real-life sense to actually happen in the Batiukverse?