football – Page 26 – Son of Stuck Funky

Like Grandfather, Like Grandson

Well, one mystery has been solved. Dolt McMoron’s clearly a relative of Crankshaft. A grandson, no doubt, and he’s inherited his granddad’s inability to use language. I wonder if he’ll knock over some mailboxes in his SUV when he leaves? Or kill people? That could be entertaining so the outlook is not sunny for the Westview nine this day.

As for the actual content of this strip, for the most part I look at this and when I look in the mirror I see Bull’s expression in panel two papered over my own, like some kind of horrible vampire-mask. That kind of dull-witted non-interest depicted there, and felt here, sure makes it hard to wake up. I mean, write. But, credit where it’s due, that knob in panel two is really well drawn. Honestly–it’s realistic enough to be recognizable, but also nicely abstract. I think today’s offering would have been way better if it was just drawing after drawing of that blackboard knob…because the rest of it….zzz

…zzzzzzzz *SNAH!!* I”M AWAKE!

D.U.H.H.

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm back in the slammer. You might notice there’s actually a teeny, tiny bit of humor in today’s episode. (Oh, our visiting character isn’t named in the strip, so I’m going to call him Dolt McMoron just for reference.)

Well, Dolt’s school is called “Diversity University Ironton,” which has got to be a hard way to introduce yourself. But notice on his shirt! Here’s the teeny, tiny humor! Get ready…see, the initials of his awkward institution spell out “D.U.I.”! As in “Driving under the influence.” Which is, as well all know, Bull’s shtick–he’s always drinking, carousing, partying without bounds, even during school hours–all while driving. His antics disrupt Les’ class (remember those 85 pizzas? Ha!), and his flatulence has been known to clear out the faculty lounge for a day-and-a-half! Ha ha ha.

Wait a minute. Actually, come to think of it, that isn’t Bull’s shtick. Bull’s shtick is to yell at his players from the sidelines in a futile attempt to make them win a game. (Heck, even with that magic-arm guy from last year–Jakov or whatever his name was–the team only managed to lose slightly better.)

But apparently, Ironton wants people like Bull. The whole idea that Bull has no responsibility for his team’s losses is par for the course in the Funkyverse. It’s those damned kids. It’s always those damned kids.

(By the way, how hard could it be to come up with a better name if you want to use the DUI acronym? Dacron University of Indiana. That took three seconds.)

‘Goats of a Chance

The die is cast: Skyler is destined to attend Westview High and become the star quarterback who finally makes a winning team of the Scapegoats. Check out the futuristic football helmets! Check out that throwing stance (just like Jarod)! Check out how baby Skyler is already sitting up on his own at two weeks of age!

Multi-Failing

Today’s strip

Nope, it’s not TFH, you’re stuck with your faithful old pal Epicus for another fun-filled week! And based on the header pic, it’s going to be one hell of an arc, possibly featuring multiple views of Funky’s enormous freak ass as he hangs Halloween decorations! Trick or treat in-deed!

Man, TheAuthor really outdid himself with this drawing. A broken, exhausted Bull is just dripping with shame, fatigue and defeat while Linda doesn’t even try to hide her weary disgust and indifferent disdain while blurting out her usual meaningless platitudes. And not only does it come completely out of left field, but it’s crammed into a completely unrelated comic book cover tribute too, floating there like the proverbial turd in a punchbowl. I guess “sports” was supposed to be the “common theme” here but man, that’s a pretty f*cking tenuous connection.

School Board > Scoreboard

Lest Alex ‘n’ Owen’s relationship story gain any momentum, today the scene switches back to football. Their new quarterback is nowhere to be seen as the ‘Goats listen to their coach once again throw in the towel before the coin toss.

From Wikipedia: The game is supposed to be an “easy win” and thus weaker schools will sometimes play lower division schools.

Not Westview! The weakest school imaginable schedules their homecoming vs. Big Walnut Tech, who has for decades bested Westview in every sport (including robotics). The football coach should complain to the athletic director…oh wait…