Gah! While we’re waiting to find out who’s calling Les on the White Courtesy Phone, TB “treats” us to another of Tony Montoni’s wacky holiday postcards. On the plus side, at least this time Tony is not posing in old lady drag. The downside? He’s showing us his legs. Are those the reflections of Florida palms on the water, or is it the lingering residue from last spring’s oil rig disaster?
If we hadn’t seen those same little hashmarks under tired Becky’s eyes yesterday, I’d propose that Wally had taken to beating up Rachel. But now we understand that those little lines are sort of a visual shorthand for tired and/or stressed. Why would Black Friday be an especially busy day at Montoni’s? Westview doesn’t appear to be a shopping mecca, unless you’re buying comic books.
Well if this ain’t right outta Norman Rockwell. The Blackburn-Howards gather around the table to enjoy a band turkey of their very own. So worn out from delivering tainted poultry is Becky that she is about to fall asleep at the table. By the way, isn’t it customary for the man of the house to lead the family in grace, “Dad”?
As LesFest mercifully draws to a close, Funky lets the Cold Duck flow like champagne. As an alcoholic, he probably should delegate that task to someone else, but I guess since Funky was able to walk away from that vodka and orange, he is officially immune. Someone goes over to the Wurlitzer and fires up a sweet old Hank Williams song.
Darling let’s turn back the years
And go back to yesterday
Let’s go back even further: to the nerdiest wedding in history, the nuptial of Lisa (aka Robin the Boy Wonder) and Les (aka Batman) Moore.
Let’s pretend that time has stopped
And I didn’t go away
But honey, if you didn’t “go away”, I’d have nothing to write about, and I wouldn’t have all of northeastern Ohio lining up to kiss my ass.
We had our love to make us happy
I’m assuming that’s a younger, more svelte Funky dressed as gay Spiderman, deftly deflecting the bridal bouquet towards future first wife Cindy Summers (shown here still sporting her narwhal-like hairstyle).
It wasn’t meant to bring us tears
Of course, this being the Funkiverse, everything brings us tears. But I’m not going to waste time crying over Crazy Harry’s awful Fat Elvis “impersonation”, or the fact that Ann Apple’s pink jacket has turned blue.
Love like ours should never die
So darling let’s turn back the years
Let’s all raise a can of ginger ale to Les. And for the love of God, can we move on to a different plotline?
Wishing everybody a Halloween that is much less lame than the one depicted here!
–TFH
(I’m back! Many thanks to DavidO for filling in this past week! –TFH)
Funky finally puts two and two together and realizes that he must be “back…in the past! ” (emphasis Batiuk’s) And it’s not making sense. Neither does the fact that he’s toting a jacket in July. On the plus side: props to TB for preserving Sunday-to-Monday continuity (to the point of redundancy). Minus side: he’s stretching this out wayyy too long. Also: in these pre-Bluetooth headset days, the locals would surmise to be crazy anyone who wandered through the middle of the town square talking to himself.
Son of Stuck Funky 
