Tag: Holly

Universal Dullifier

Wow, if Holly uses her one line for the year to endorse Lisa’s Story Done Right, then it must be real important to her. I mean, yeah, her story might be interesting too, since it’s a story of raising a kid by yourself, overcoming cancer, and finding love again and remarrying, but this is all about Lisa.
Actually Holly’s story is way better than Lisa’s, to be honest. Lisa’s story is “Lisa got cancer and died”. Holly’s is about overcoming something horrible and finding new life. Which really does sound like it would make a much, much better movie. I really don’t get what’s so important or inspiring about “a fairly unlikeable woman gets cancer and dies from it” where everyone thinks it would just be amazing movie and cultural touchstone, but whatever, it’s all Lisa Lisa Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.

Can someone please explain what the deal is with Montoni’s and coffee?  Cindy and Mason don’t have coffee so it’s not breakfast time, and I don’t think Montoni’s even serves breakfast anymore.  I’d say the majority of what Cindy and Funky do there is carry around a carafe.  I think it’s just Batiuk’s way of showing “hey, these people are in a restaurant” without actually showing any real work.  Really though, “Let’s go to the pizzeria for some coffee” sounds kind of gross to me.

Mason Wants to Play Les

If there’s one skill Batiuk has, it’s always finding a new rock bottom. It’s like he listened to everyone making fun of the original Lisa’s Story Movie Storyline and his reaction was “Oh yeah, jerks? You think the Lisa worship was bad before? You got sick of Les being idolized years ago? Just you wait, you beady-eyed nitpickers!”
And the dialogue is just hideous here. Mason wants to take a selfie of him wearing what? The idea of playing Les? When exactly did Cindy come up with that idea? If you really don’t want to sleep anytime soon, let’s just assume it was in the bedroom.
“Oh, Mason, I’m getting kind of tired of you dressing up like Starbuck Jones. How about tonight you pretend to be a real hero, Les Moore?”
Honestly that’s probably less sickening than what’s actually going on in this strip. Going back to the comments recently about the incredibly minor role religion plays in this strip, if things keep going the way they’re going we’ll end up with literal Les worship soon.  That’s essentially where we are now.  Tomorrow could just be a single panel of Mason and Cindy bowing before Les and kissing his feet and it wouldn’t seem out of place at all.

This Strip Could Use More Lisa

Today’s strip wasn’t yet available for preview. I have a feeling it’ll be the greatest Funky Winkerbean ever though, when Mason tells Les he’s totally kidding about doing a Lisa’s Story movie, Lisa was boring and Lisa’s Story is terrible, and he’s actually doing a Bull movie and is just giving Les a heads-up that there’s a full thirty minutes of him getting beat up and wetting himself.
Who am I kidding, we won’t get anything near that good. We’ll probably get Les dancing gleefully on the table in Montoni’s while Mason throws $100 bills at him and Cindy tells Les she should’ve married him instead of Mason.

Oh hey, look at that, the title character of this strip and his wife died, totally off panel.  I wonder if it was a murder-suicide pact after their grief over losing Bull.  Or maybe their grief over hearing there was going to be more “Lisa’s Story”.  Or maybe just a bizarre artistic choice or coloring error that would make an already poor follow-up to last Sunday even stranger.

Cindy Wants Mason and Les to Do It

What on earth is the right way to do Lisa’s Story? True to life, where it just focuses on Les’s reaction to everything, and skips right over the really difficult and interesting part of how he adjusts to life without her? Or focusing on the ridiculous medical paperwork mishap that anyone who saw it in a movie (or a comic) would say is just laughably bad writing?
Actually I think it’s pretty clear what “the right way” means. Lisa Must Die. Because serious art requires beloved characters to die in a very serious, very profound way. Except Bull. Bull you just knock off as quick as possible so you can get to Lisa. Again.
That “Cindy…?” is hilarious to me.  “Formerly hot girl I used to stare at in high school and have no real meaningful relationship with, do you think I should make this beg life decision?  Because yours is the only opinion that matters to me, way way more than my secondary wife’s.”

Veally Lame

This strip is another in the long line of Batiuk Sunday strips that really only need to be two panels. And like usual for Batiuk, it’s a really weak joke. Mommy bag, ha ha. I kind of doubt Holly’s mom will be mentioned again anytime soon, since the only reason she is here is so Batiuk can deploy the hilarious gag he thought up. Although I really can see Holly and Funky going house shopping. That would be the right combination of tedious and misery inducing for this strip. And where are Holly and Funky eating? I thought for sure Westview just had Montoni’s and the Toxic Taco.

Thanks for putting up with me again!  Beckoning Chasm takes over tomorrow.