Tag: Hollywood

Dullholland Drive

Charles
December 10, 2016 at 6:04 am
Well, I thought it before, but this makes it abundantly clear. Marianne, the beautiful, successful and deeply desired actress was intentionally drawn to look like Summer Moore. Put a hoodie on her and no one would be able to tell the difference.

Your wish has been granted! Anyone lucky enough to have not read FW since late January, when we last saw Summer, would look at yesterday’s and today’s strip and suppose that dark haired gal to be Summer Moore (and “Mom” to be Cayla, having at last turned completely Caucasian).

Batiuk attempts another punny headline, either unaware of or ignoring the more common usage of the slang term “mooning.” Unless we’re to believe that it’s Summer, I mean, Ms. Winters, who misunderstands the context and thinks she’s been accused of flashing her ass at Mason.

Well gang, I’ve survived my fortnight at the SoSF desk, and I’m more than delighted to turn things over to billytheskink! If you’re in New York City this afternoon (Sunday) around three, I’ll be among the 500 tuba, euphonium, sousaphone, and baritone players taking part in the 43rd Annual Tubachristmas at Rockefeller Center (pregame at the Pig ‘n’ Whistle on W. 48th).

Happy Holidays and a Funky New Year, everyone!
From Son of Stuck Funky and TFH.

Summers vs. Winters

Batiuk’s so fond of describing his strip as a “quarter-inch removed from real life” but it’s more like 180 degrees, a Bizarro world. Mason winds up in the tabloids and immediately frets over Marianne…Cindy gets wind of the purported affair and shows up at the studio looking for her supposed rival when you’d think her first order of business would be kicking Mason right in the nuts. Anyway, why is Cindy even still allowed on the set after she ruined a take? I guess for the same reason Frankie and Lenny are allowed to continue running their bogus food truck.

Frankly, My Deer

So the betrothed-to-be-wed Mason is accused by gossip mongers of cheating on Cindy, and his first concern is how this will affect Marianne? “Dealing with haters“? Are people hating on Marion Cotillard for her rumored canoodling with her Allied costar Brad Pitt? Nobody gives a shit! What really gets the ‘mansquitoes buzzing is when you’re “the star” of a really crappy movie, and this is what’s at the root of Mason’s sudden gloomy demeanor: he’s been there. Although he was pretty proud of having Dino Deer on his resume, until Cliff Anger and Mopey Pete dissed him…

O Hai Tom Batiuk

Christmas comes early for us human mosquitoes in the form of a “tip of the Funky felt tip” from Thee Author Himself! Well, it’s more like he’s giving us the finger. Hunky blond lunk Mason suddenly gets high and mighty in true McCarthy-era Cliff Anger style when faced with rumors on “the message boards”involving him and Marianne. By the way, Mason uses the word “advisedly” advisedly. The real kicker though is his use of the phrase “chew toy”, which is the moniker applied by human mosquitoes to St. Lisa during her Pulitzer campaign.

A Door, a Jarre

Ah, the Director Guy. We hardly know anything about him; not his name (the back of his director’s chair just says “Director“), nor when his hair color tuned from blue-black to brown. But today we learn that Director Guy’s got some temper! It must stem from frustration over how little control he has over this project. His leading man takes it upon himself to cast extras and fly his friends around. The leading man’s fiance hangs around the set an interferes with a scene. Another take is nearly ruined when errant school bus rolls into a crucial location shot. A mole from a gossip website sets up shop on the set and is permitted to remain there after he blows his own cover. It’s enough to make your face break out in weird halftone blotches!