Tag: Les

The Dud Pool

Link To Today’s Strip

No worries there Bull, as it’s a safe bet that you won’t be finding any jokes around here. TFH has helpfully informed me that this “time pool” idiocy has something to do with (surprise) comic books, which (surprise) instantly caused my eyes to glaze over as usual. In case you’re newer around here, that’s Funky, Holly, Crazy, Lisa, DickFace, Cindy and Bull. You see, back “in the day” Crazy had a magical locker that opened up into a far-out stoner hangout room where he listened to pizzas on his turntable, played air guitar and apparently lived. No, I’m serious. It might have been helpful to take a day to explain this to newer FW readers. Ha, just kidding, as there are no newer FW readers.

Anyhow, as usual BanTom retcons the past all wrong, as Bull and Cindy never hung out with drips like Les and Lisa. In fact, I don’t remember Lisa EVER hanging with the gang in Act I, unless her water was breaking or whatever. Holly (sigh) did however always wear that dopey outfit, so that’s accurate at least.

Retcon Lisa is just as grating as she’s ever been, dropping a “topical” reference where she refers to Carl Sagan’s old PBS show that was all the rage back when she was alive and still childless. She was way uglier than that back then too. I prefer her dead anyhow, so maybe I’m biased. Perhaps we’ll get to capture a glimpse of what FW might have been like if TB had allowed her to survive. My guess is that it would have been just as boring, but with Lisa.

We Don’t Call Him Batty For Nothing

Link to today’s strip

Hey gang, it is I, Epicus, ready to steer the S.S. SoSF through a magical journey where time and newsprint collide in a cavalcade of…well, not really. It’s just another whacked-out FW arc. But still.

Apparently the muttering mailman comic book store lackey Harry is mindlessly jabbering about some sort of “time pool” he had stashed in his super-secret high school locker. Wonder if there’s a Pulitzer in there? Probably not….ZING! Just when you didn’t think it would be possible for the huge reunion arc to get any dumber, here you go. If you were born after 1980 this probably makes no sense whatsoever to you, but trust me, by the end of the week it won’t be much clearer.

In case you’ve already forgotten about the last time travel arc, Funky went into a coma after turning down a vodka and orange after dumping Pa Bean at Bedside Manor, during which he visited his younger self and advised his younger self to purchase a copy of “Starbuck Jones” #1, which he used to save his business after cocking it all up somehow (which happened way before the coma, BTW). Then that bit of drollery was forgotten and all of a sudden SJ # 576 (or whatever) was the priceless collectible one. I know, but seriously, that’s how it happened. Betcha this one is WAY better than that one was!!!

Lockerpalooza

Harry suddenly seems confused and agitated and is speaking nonsensically, suggesting a neurological or psychotic event. Holly, rather than becoming alarmed, calmly and resignedly responds. She’s seen it before: not only for countless hours standing behind the counter as Harry guzzled free coffee and held court in Montoni’s, but even back in high school, where he was constantly doing weird shit like inviting the gang into his locker.

Gig Not-So-Young

Forget about the wacky plot development in today’s strip, which one commenter gave away a couple days ago and which most of you have seen coming…will ya check out the look that Les is giving his wife in panel 2? Daggers. Do you suppose that Lisa, even at her smirkiest, was even once on the receiving end of such a look from Les? Cayla clearly does not know her place. Which, come to think of it, is probably over at the Big Walnut Tech reunion.

‘Nuts to You, Westview

Memo to future Westview High School Reunion Committees: do not let Barry Balderman recommend a DJ.

Guest Page Turner Author
July 5, 2015 at 11:41 pm
…All the venues were booked, my ass! On a Sunday evening of a holiday weekend? !?!

I guess “holiday weekend class reunions” are a big thing in Westview, as are poorly structured DJ contracts. Anyone who calls themselves professional, “state of the ark” equipment or not, would surely risk legal action and terrible word-of-mouth for such shenanigans. But Les and company’s anger is directed not at the DJ but at the school that lured him away.