Les – Page 89 – Son of Stuck Funky

Forgeta-Bull

OK, so now things are becoming clearer here. Bull is obviously suffering from CTE aka post-concussion syndrome. Either that or he’s just been working with Les for way, way, way too long. It’s certainly one of the more “relevant” topics FW has addressed in a while, definitely a change from the usual drivel about comic books, pizza, time pools, Lisa and etc. I could point out that Owen’s concussion was played for ha-has a few years back but hey, why even bother? I could also point out that Morton’s degenerative brain disease seems to have miraculously healed thanks to cigarettes and a trombone, which is something Bull might want to look into right about n0w.

So how will Batiuk handle this contemporary issue affecting old athletes who ran into things with their heads? With sensitivity and pathos, or with his typically heavy-handed felt-tip drollery? Or perhaps some incomprehensible combination of both? Who knows? At least it’s a bit different than the typical Act III fodder, I’ll give him that. A timely issue that he ripped straight from the headlines a few years ago when it was somehow brought to his attention in between pizzas and comic cons, which will no doubt impact tens of daily readers.

Un-Bear-A-Bull

Link to today’s strip

Blech, imagine being stuck in a car with that cretin. Especially that horrible robin’s egg blue car of his…(shudder). A picture (in so many words) is very very slowly beginning to form here…Linda is “worried” about Bull. Yes, after decades of smirking at his antics in that condescending somewhat bemused way of hers, she’s concerned about her husband’s obesity or mood swings or something. Well, it’s about time. It’s actually a good thing that Linda and Dick Facey never got together, that much wryness would have torn a hole in the fabric of the Funkyverse.

The most hilarious thing about today’s episode is the way BatNom totally butchered the word balloon in panel two. Looks like he ran out of dialog there or something, I’m sort of surprised that he didn’t find some awkward clumsy word salad to fill all that space. Then again, Les is speaking so maybe he just took some mercy on us. Still though, knowing how he operates and all, it’s a pretty glaring anomaly. At least bother to print larger or something, you know?

Rapidly Going From Bad To Much, Much Worse

Link to today’s strip

As much as I ordinarily despise Linda, it’s tough not to feel bad for her today. Her husband is off on some unexplained rage bender, her hair loss seems to be continuing unabated and on top of all that, Les is making his move on her. Look at him, ready to pounce on her during her moment of vulnerability, his hand perversely thrust into his pocket as he blatantly targets her…just repellent. And that rear view of Les’ head with those second-rate Paulie Walnuts wings, thanks for that, TomBan. Back when Bull was dying in front of him on the tennis court Les was flitting around and gloating in the most obnoxious way possible and now he’s pretending to “care”, what a sickening display. What. A. Dick.

A Friend to the Animals

Link to today’s strip.

Just when you think hatred of Les Moore can’t possibly get any deeper, he steps up to the plate and knocks another one out of the park.

“It’s funny,” Les says, “but you’ve given me the opportunity to tell you how awesome I am, in that I beat Bull at tennis recently.”

Funky’s face in panel two: Here it comes.

“Like you,” Les continues, “he’s just a loser through and through–unlike myself, naturally, who is awesome at everything and should be admired and given prizes.”

What a wonderful friend. Say, Funky, what do you suppose Les says about you behind your back? You can be sure it isn’t complimentary! Because you don’t deserve compliments. Not like Les Moore.

Isn’t it just terrific that Les Moore condescends to share his time with the shuffling, gelid animals that inhabit Westview. How nice it is of him to pat them on the head and offer stories of his life to offset their weak-kneed misery. Without his presence, they might ~~be happy~~ never know the marvelous entity that is Les Moore. Has any man done so much for those who deserve so little? Allowing them to share his light, so that the shadows don’t fall so heavily on them…gosh! What a guy!

Les Moore is the one thing in this strip that puts it straight into fantasy, because in real life, no one would have anything to do with this loathsome man.

Good Thing Watch: Les’ head in panel one. It looks like it’s been thoroughly wrung out by the Hulk. A Scene We’d Like To See (tip of the felt tip to Mad magazine).

Bullpun

Link to today’s strip.

Lack of Les Moore crotch shots is a definite improvement, and the pun is kind of clever. I like the implication in panel one that Les is sticking his lips out as far as he can, trying to do a good duck imitation. It’s rather poor but at least it’s an attempt.

However, the strip is still just two guys talking. It’s a boring conversation about things happening to other people who are elsewhere.

It’s a strip designed to take up space. There is no other purpose. No plot is being advanced, no wisdom dispensed, and the pun isn’t that good. And when the action consists of someone pouring a pot of coffee into a mug, maybe it’s time to rename this strip to something more accurate, like “How sedimentary rocks form” or perhaps “I don’t care.”

Why not try to show, instead of constantly telling? I suppose the answer is, because showing is difficult. It requires work. Planning. And the reward isn’t worth it.

I think we’re past any changes in the way the strip unfolds.. Like Funky, it’s ossified and congealed into a barely moveable mass. Maybe we should look at Funky’s disgusted expression in panel three and figure, yeah, that’s about right. That’s how this strip rolls. Or stays put, actually.

In all honesty, I would love to find things to praise in this strip. Reading each painfully bad episode is a chore; there’s rarely any relief from the omnipresent gloom that hangs over this thing. It gets old, really fast. My recollection of Act I was that it was also not action-packed; like Act III it was just people taking, but were talking to each other, about each other, and at the end of the talking there was a joke, and sometimes the joke was pretty funny. I know that’s an awful lot to ask these days.

An awful, awful lot.