Montoni’s – Page 9 – Son of Stuck Funky

Naming the Unnameable

Well, will you look at that. That cranky old bus driver has finally been named! I guess Batiuk realized his word zeppelin wasn’t big enough to include “–what was his name, again? I can never remember–” so he was forced to use his real name.

And for Heaven’s sake, Cory, you’re going to wear holes in that countertop. How much polishing does it need, considering there hasn’t been a customer at all during this “story”? Talk about putting in the effort without obtaining a result.

That might be a good euphemism, come to think of it. “Tom Batiuk has been polishing the countertop on Funky Winkerbean for a couple of decades….”

Afterword: SoSF mourns the passing of Bill Bickel, host of “Comics I Don’t Understand.” He presented senseless comics that needed an explanation, and he and his commentors were always up to the task. “Senseless” also describes his passing, and the internet is poorer now. I’m not very good at deep thoughts, so I will just say that I will miss his wisdom.

You’ll Wonder Where The Yellow Went

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, this has to be a deliberate FU to Batiuk’s critics. All last week Rachel’s hair was pumpkin orange. Now, she’s a frosty blonde. And, check out Wally–his hair has gone from acorn brown to some kind of gold-bronze sheen, like Doc Savage on those old paperbacks. I think I had a GI Joe with hair like that when I was a kid, but his hair was plastic, so he had a good excuse. (“Only his hairdresser knows for sure!”)

Really? Is this what quality control is supposed to look like? Is this the comic strip you are presenting as something to admire, Mr. Batiuk? Seeing as it’s all, according to you, reality-based, but 1/4 inch from reality? Is this why you think you deserve awards? Do the chains of continuity rest heavy upon you, sir?

Maybe he was inspired when the MCU had Black Widow’s hair change from red to blonde in “Avengers: Infinity War.” I like to think the comics geek in him thought “Oh wow, I just have to do that!”

Of course, “Avengers: Infinity War” was supposed to take place some time after Black Widow’s previous appearance…not later that same day.

Sheesh.

As for the rest of today’s thing, it’s a typical Mary-Worth-style “recap of the previous week” and thus contains no new information. At least it has the word “ASS” in there–a handy designation for everything in this strip. (Not to mention a shout-out to the future Academy-Award winning film.)

Also, nice bowling trophy. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in this strip go bowling (happens a lot in that other strip), but I guess someone was good at it once. Can’t have been Les or we’d never stop hearing about it.

Westview: Silent Hill Edition

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, look at that background in panel one! It’s going to be great when Pyramid Head shows up and starts butchering everyone. I’m going to take back everything bad I’ve said about this strip!

Ha ha, not really. Anyway, here’s another Funky Winkerbean “story” in which speculation far outstripped reality. Imagine, you folks talking about affairs and house-building! You should’ve seen yourselves! Don’t worry, I’m not making sport of you, as I fall into the same trap pretty much every time. Sigh.

A question for those of you more knowledgeable than myself. Adeela seems like a fairly devout Muslim–aren’t there strictures on the company that Muslim women can keep? Isn’t being with a man who is not in her family (and a married man at that) forbidden?

I know that women driving was restricted (until recently) in places like Saudi Arabia, so she’s clearly bucking that trend. So, why continue with the hijab, then? (I know the answer to that one–it’s so Batiuk can claim diversity by using the most superficial traits.)

Credit where it’s due: I like the drawing of Rachel in panel two. That is a genuinely good rendering of Rachel’s expression–someone who is clearly not happy, but is willing to listen.

Defused

Link to today’s strip.

And just like that, the whole situation is defused. This is a good example of Batiuk’s poor writing choices. In the normal Archie-type sitcom scenario we’ve been seeing this week, the situation would be resolved when the wife confronts the husband, and it’s the husband who has to explain how everything is innocent. Here, it’s like Batiuk is thinking, “Well, everyone loves my characters and I can’t keep implying that they’re doing bad things, so I’d better stop this now.”

So, Wally’s helping Adeela get her driver’s license. So, purely innocent…and rather helpful on Wally’s part. Those of you who, earlier in the week, guessed that something more interesting was afoot…well, sorry. It wasn’t.

I’m really surprised Wally offered to help her. Everything he encounters seems to trigger him into a psychotic breakdown–and given his history with women in cars, I should think this would be even more of a nightmare for him than showing up at Kent State to go to class. According to that story, Wally leaving the house was a major milestone for him.

I think he would probably refuse to get into any car, let alone one with another person, where that person might be charged an arm and a leg.

But that’s the Funkyverse–where consistency doesn’t even apply to milkshakes.

Driving Me Backwards

Link to today’s strip.

Gad, the pacing in this damned strip…”glacial” isn’t the word for it, since glaciers manage to move a few inches per year. This is like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle, except you have to wake up a really old caretaker to hand you each piece, one at a time. And in the end, the resultant picture is not worth the effort.

Let’s recap: We have a date, Wally’s off with Adeela, I’m mad, Wally and Adeela are driving….

Tomorrow, I expect them to impart that Wally and Adeela are driving a car, and they’re not on the golf course starting wildfires.

Credit where it’s due: Rocky’s been drawn nicely, especially panel three.

Here’s what Brian Eno had to say, back in the day.

John Foxx had some thoughts as well.