Where’s Wally?

Link to today’s strip.

Remember the “Where’s Waldo?” books?  Those were fun, because in addition to searching for the titular striped-shirt guy, there were lots of amusing details scattered here and there in the crowds.  Parallel series “Where’s Wally?” on the other hand, featured dull clods, blind alleys, unfunny non-sequiturs plus the added fear that if you touched the page, you just might have a finger wet with cat pee.

Today, I get that we’re supposed to find Wally’s behavior suspicious, but let’s be honest–Wally is a clod who can’t make a sandwich without getting his head caught in a jar.  He’s never going to have to fight off the females.  As I recall, Rachel basically threw herself at him, over and over, until she finally clung.   As a manager, he can’t be bothered to tell his employees where he’s going for the afternoon.   I get that this is the author manipulating things to create suspense, but…it ain’t working.

The most interesting aspect of this is the time of day.  I gather it’s sometime in the afternoon, as Cory notes.  What is Rachel doing there?  I figured she had to rush out of class yesterday to go home, put on some makeup, get out the nice dress and so on for the “date night.”  But I guess she just shows up and that’s when the “date” starts?

On the plus side, Rachel is drawn rather well in today’s episode.  It makes a nice change from the weeks of deteriorating artwork we’ve witnessed lately.

Dull and Duller

Link to today’s strip.

So, after a few weeks of movie-making, doddering infernos, a visit to a sci-fi kingdom and a Lisa run, what does Tom Batiuk have in store for us now?

Rachel and Wally having a date night.  Which of course will take place at Montoni’s…where they both work.

Good grief.  I think I’d slit my wrists.

I guess married couples can still have “date nights” but I would think that would mean doing something different from what they always do.  I mean, they not only work there, they also live above Montoni’s.  They can probably eat all the pizza they want, until they stop wanting to eat pizza ever again.  (With Montoni’s pizza?  Couple of bites, tops.)  It’s Montoni’s, Montoni’s, Montoni’s practically all the time for them.

And this is “special” to Rachel?  Yikes.  The relationship these two have reminds me of a scene from “Sleepless in Seattle,” when Meg Ryan’s fiance says “I don’t want to be someone that you’re settling for. I don’t want to be someone that anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn’t it?”

It sure looks like they “settled for” each other.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that Tom Batiuk has forgotten that Wally and Rachel are married, and this is just a regular date…since “continuity” for him is like garlic to a vampire.

Confirmation Pie-as

Link To Today’s (zzzzzzzz)

Like I often say, this Pulitzer (nominee) Boy guy really, REALLY needs to get out more. While it’s nice to see Rachel the green pitcher again, this is a weak, weak gag, even by FW standards. I mean sure, it’s the second weekend of January 2018 and the 2019 strips are finished and ready to go into the prepaid CK envelope but he’s still a few strips short and has to come up with something fast or the whole weekend will be ruined so he throws together a few slapdash strips on the fly. I get that, but still, at least pretending to try would be the polite and decent thing to do for the readers, CK and himself…or so you’d think if you knew nothing about FW and the guy who writes it. But alas, I do. Every minute spent on FW is another minute he can’t spend at that pizza place, the post office signing books or looking out the window and as Lisa showed us, life is short.

Break a Wish

Link to today’s strip.

Not much to say about this one…it’s okay, but the fact that Rachel’s wish was for Wally to become a night manager at a pizza place–well.  It’s hard to think of anything sadder.  Although I’m sure Batiuk regards that as a challenge and will get right to work on that.

I have to say, that’s the most unappetizing pizza I’ve ever seen.  It looks cold and damp.  This might be a testament to Chuck Ayers’ drawing skills, but I think he’s going in the wrong direction.

Charles made an interesting observation in yesterday’s comments, to wit: “H-1B visas are temporary work permits for foreigners who have specialty skills. Washing dishes at or assistant managing a pizza place is not one of those skills. Adeela’s literally taking a job a local American could do.’

That got me to thinking…why was Adeela here in the first place?  I have to assume that H-1B visas are given to foreigners whose skills are pre-existing.  In other words, they’ve already been trained in a specialty that few Americans have.

Adeela, though, was going to school here in the US to acquire her architecture degree…in other words, she was given an H-1B based on a skill she did not already possess.

Could it possibly work that way?  “Oh, here’s a Muslim woman who wants an H-1B visa.  What?  She doesn’t have a specialty skill?  Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll go to college here and get one.  Next!”

Batiuk should really stick to things he knows about, or at least learn to use Google.

Night of the Living Manager

Link to today’s strip.

I remember when Dullard left, Funky was worrying about filling his position and Wally volunteered for the job.   Funky dismissed the offer out of hand, and now we know why:  you can’t be a manager if you don’t have a degree.  Why, the absurdity!  Being a degree-less schmo is fine if you’re just washing the disease off the plates, but managerNever!

Apparently, though, someone was hired to manage the place during the night…someone who we’ve never seen, and whose existence has never even been hinted about.  (But probably had a degree.)  I suspect this being quit so that it could join its fellow cryptids like the Fresno Nightcrawler, the Flatwoods Monster or the Hopkinsville aliens.

By the way, is Funky talking about a closing manager?  Because I would think the night would have much bigger crowds than the lunch shift, with that much more responsibility as well.  Wally still seems right on the edge of frail, so I don’t know what a large, boisterous crowd would do to him.  Ha!  I kid…like Montoni’s ever had a large crowd.

A closing manager for Montoni’s would just add up the mediocre receipts, see that the equipment looks clean enough, cage the apes, weep quietly and so on.

Not much else to say about this one…it’s dull, unfunny and the events therein (Wally being a manager) will be ignored in the future anyway, so that boring, poorly-constructed word-play can be made.

Nice to see that continuity is still as much ignored as always.  The other day, Tony had a red sweater.  Today, it’s black.  Either someone in quality control slipped up, or Tony was covered in blood and it has now coagulated.