Tag Archives: snow

I Guess You’re Just What I Needled

It’s been posited here and elsewhere that the supposed 10-year time gap between events in Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft means that CS is set in the present, and FW takes place a decade from now…a decade in which medical science has found a way to diagnose chronic traumatic encephalopathy before death. It’s the only way to explain how Bull and Buck are aware of their condition, as well as the existence of such a weirdly specific online support group such as “Former Football Players with CTE” (“Oh, you played hockey? That’s another group.”) Meanwhile, Westview High School is courting controversy by replacing the Stars and Stripes with a “Blue Lives Matter” flag.

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Sporto Hall of Fame

Okay, so a few things about today’s strip.

  1. It’s not terrible, especially by Batiuk standards.  It’s two people happy about something, and has a little charm to it, which honestly puts it in the top 1% or so of Funky Winkerbean strips.  The problem is it’s mired in with all the rest of them, so I can’t help but think of how Batiuk portrays CTE or PTSD or how lazy and self-indulgent his writing can be, which makes it hard to enjoy on its own terms.
  2. Speaking of lazy, this exemplifies one of the biggest things that annoys me about Batiuk Sunday strips: it’s a total waste of space.  Did we really need four wordless panels to establish these two are walking?  So many of these Sunday strips just seem to obviously like they were intended to be three panels and then Batiuk added a couple of silent panels to fill it out.  In this instance I think one single, large panel with a pretty snow scene would’ve been very nice, and it would’ve been entirely possible to fit the two lines of dialogue in there.
  3. Batiuk really should not draw attention to Charlie Brown.  It’s like Stephanie Meyer referencing Shakespeare, or a Sci-Fi Original movie referencing Star Wars.  Don’t remind your audience there is far, far better material out there.  And also Batiuk is in nowhere near the same league as Charles Schulz.
  4. Wherever Holly and Funky are going, it sure isn’t to visit Bull.

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Lame Joke Round Two

It’s kind of weird that Buck apparently just came running when Linda called, without having any clue why she needed him. Linda apparently reaching over to grab his ass in the second panel really doesn’t help.
And apparently the incredibly, incredibly lame indict/induct wordplay really was the joke yesterday. And apparently Batiuk found it so hilarious he’s recycling it for the second day in a row. I can’t imagine any realistic situation where someone would hear the word “induct”, ESPECIALLY in the context of a hall of fame, and think it means “indict”. Which is par for the course for Batiuk’s writing.
So are the Linda’s horrible hate eyes in the last panel. Which apparently gets Buck going, which is another level of disturbing.

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Super Bore LIIInda

Thanks for having me back here. I can’t guarantee I’ll be as entertaining as BeckoningChasm, but I think I can manage topping Funky Winkerbean itself.
And here we return to a Batiuk Classic, someone opening a letter silently. I’m kind of amazed he has the letter actually being opened in one day, rather than dragging it out forever like he did with Darrin back in the day. This might be the only time his writing has gotten better since Act 2.
My prediction for what the shocking letter is: a note from Bull’s doctor explaining that they got his test results switched up with someone else and Bull actually doesn’t have CTE after all.

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There’s Always Someone Around You

Link to today’s strip.

And another strip unavailable for preview.  Of course, that’s typical for Sundays so no surprises there.  I dare say, if I may be so bold, that it has been quite some time since we last saw Funky and Les running.  Or we might just get more Dinkle.

Anyway, for my first time back in the chair in a while, let’s recall the wonders we witnessed recently during my stint:  Wally got a pizza party and Dinkle looked for food.  When your strip is just jammed full of action and adventure like that, you should certainly expect the awards to roll on in!   You’d also expect people to buy your books, not only for themselves but as gifts for others!  I mean, who wouldn’t want a boxed set of Dinkle’s entire Claude Barlow witlessisms?  Sure, maybe the Norms would balk, but they’re not on award committees so they can be ignored.  And ignored with gusto!

Well!  That’s it for me, at least for the present.  It’s time to hand off this cold, damp slice of pizza off to the Stunningly Suave SpacemanSpiff85!    He’ll focus his fearsome frap-ray blaster on the festering fools who fill Funky‘s foul fiefdom–for a fortnight!

Thank you all for your indulgence!  And now, exit–stage right!

 

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Watch Out, The World’s Behind You

Link to today’s strip.

As always, Sunday’s strips are a mystery unavailable beforehand.  But like a cold, damp Montoni’s pizza where you can taste nothing but grease, they’re a mystery whose solution is never fun.

I assume we’re going to get more of Wally’s graduation party, with perhaps a bit of sermonizing on the plight of the immigrant.  The problem, as always, is that Batiuk refuses to do the minimal research necessary to get the facts right, so all his arguments end up being just flat out wrong.

You’d think his desperate attempts to appear Significant would make him refine his methods so he doesn’t come off as Willfully Ignorant.  But I guess chasing awards doesn’t leave much time for anything other than Flash comics.

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Wot’s Adeela wit you? Eh?

Why is Adeela not excited about graduating from college in today’s strip?
The answer may be undeserving awards-bait… Film at 11.

Thank goodness Tony returned in time to set up this silly transition. I don’t know what we all would have done had Funky had to ask Rachel this rote and rhetorical question. Probably donned sackcloth and ashes…

Well, at least Chuck Ayers doesn’t use wavy panel borders for in-strip transitions from one place to another like TB did. I hate that.

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Passing The Batom

Funky’s succession plan is coming together in today’s strip, which is a good thing I think, seeing as he lately can’t remember that Wally already works for him.

Rachel, frankly, should be furious with this nepotism. She has worked at Montoni’s since the Clinton administration, surely she knows nearly everything there is to know about the place. Shouldn’t she be considered for a management position? Is it because she doesn’t have a college degree and Wally is about to receive one? Perhaps that is why Funky ultimately ignored Wally’s request to apply for the manager position that Durwood vacated in 2015.

But Funky had no real qualms about letting Cory and Rocky run Montoni’s back in August, when he and Holly drove to Florida. Cory has no college degree, he joined the military right out of high school (where he struggled) and his only experience at Montoni’s was busing tables and dressing up in a pizza costume. Rocky’s experience is likely similar, sans pizza costume.

This is especially galling because Funky, even armed with his business degree, worked his way up to being co-owner of Montoni’s by starting as… a delivery boy. Rachel facing down Funky’s nepotistic patriarchy is a much better female-focused awards-fishing story arc than last week’s bit with Mindy critiquing comic book character clothing. It is almost amazing that TB didn’t realize it… almost as in not really.  Because comical books.

Also, Cory and Rocky are moving to Seattle after their wedding, as the young people do, so we have that to look forward to come 2022.

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And the Tony goes to…

Tony’s back in today’s strip you all!
TONY! IS! BACK! Ring the bells! Toss the confetti! Kill the fatted calf!

Yes, he’s back! Wearing the same shirt he had on when he left for “God’s waiting room” back in October, no less. And carrying the same suitcase, because… he lives at Montoni’s?

Also, Rachel is handing out invitations A WEEK before Wally’s graduation? Miss Manners ain’t gonna like this… I know I don’t.

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Please DON’T have mistletoe.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop. And thank Dead St. Lisa, we are no longer having ‘the talk.’ Instead Holly and Funky are entertaining their only two repeat customers.

And, actually, today’s strip is amusing enough, and does point out an actual weird lyric in a famous song. (There is a historical explanation,, but it’s within character for the Funky Bunch to not know it.) It isn’t a completely dead tradition though, I remember one Christmas where, on the tree, were envelopes with cash inside. Pretty good presents on that tree that year.

I have a feeling that Holly would hate me though. As a child that grew up on way too much MST3K, my logic sensors are primed to sniff out any tiny inconsistency and snark on it. What I’m saying is, I’m really relating to Funky in today’s strip…and isn’t that a terrifying thought.

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