Tag: squiggly lines

Days of Whine and Roses

Link to today’s strip.

So, in paragraph one, Bull outlines Westview’s number one fear:  My life will change.  Ghastly, ghastly thought!  No, no, no, life should be spent forever in one’s high school, in one’s birth town, among the only people you’ve known in your existence!  Argh, away with you, change!

Bull then goes on in panel two to detail all the things he hates, wrapping up in the last panel with the fact that people will expect results from him in his new position.  Linda thinks it’s just grand that more people will expect better results from Bull–after all, it means a better life for her and who cares if it stresses out Bull?  He’s just a dumb jock!

It sure sounds to me like Bull is trying extra hard to talk himself out of taking the job.  You can tell this is serious–they’re eating in a restaurant that is obviously not Montoni’s, a restaurant that has some half-seen pictures on the wall instead of inexplicable stains.  Seriously, where is this place?  Is it in Westview or–gasp–somewhere outside?  Yikes!  Obviously you’d only dine here if you were expecting some really bad news, or you knew you were going to die shortly.

Look at the poor old man in panel two, squinting to read the menu, hoping that the Act II Les Moore-shaped tumor sprouting from his head won’t kill him before he has a chance to eat something other than pizza.  Quick, quick, he thinks.  What’s something I’ve always wanted to try but was never able to until this moment of release?  Uh…seafood?  What’s that?  Oh. My.  God.  My ticket is going to be punched at last!

Gene-ius

Yeah, so that Scapegoat football team that, back on picture day, their coach suggested would not only lose but would be reduced to unidentifiable corpses? Today they are “one game away from the conference championship.” You’d think a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults blah blah blah would get some mileage from the story of a historically losing football team fighting its way to the top.  But this “comic” strip’s really about the way these teachers utterly despise the student body.

Jim, rotten, hateful, possibly psychotic Jim, who, like Les, couldn’t give a shit about football or any sports, only brought up the team’s success to launch another slam against the kids (does Jim have kids? Or a wife? Never been explored). Bull accepts the backhanded compliment of his coaching ability. Les, who like Bull, is himself a product of this “lousy gene pool” Jim’s talking about, smirks appreciatively.

Bull Plans, God Smirks

 

While we’ve spent October following the Life of Les (he’s appeared in all but one strip this month), the Fighting Scapegoats have somehow made it to the championship game. Is Coach Bushka ready to take his team to the top? Of course not. Making it to the championship just means extra “game prep” for Bull. It’s the worst! See, this being the Funkiverse, every silver lining has a cloud; like when Hollywood wants to make a movie out of your book. In fact, maybe Les’ negativity has begun to spread to his fellow Westview faculty…let’s call it “Les-fluenza.”

Today’s strip

Monday, March 10th

Link To Today’s Strip

Greetings, folks, BChasm back for another round.  I found myself a bit startled when Epicus mentioned that I was next in line, and as the panic set in, I wondered if I could schedule some emergency surgery, or join the army, or something…but no, duty calls, and the Moon is a harsh mistress.

Today’s episode was not available for preview, so we can all speculate until the wondrous onset of midnight, when all will be revealed.  Will it be more of Cindy’s woeful career, or another quest for an issue of Starbuck Jones, or will both these recent plotlines be abandoned to bring us something else?  One thing you can say about Funky Winkerbean is that it’s really pretty unpredictable.

It’s just unpredictable in a really, really lame way.  What way beckons from the pallid rim of midnight?

Let’s find out together.

UPDATE:  And it looks like those who had Cory in the Dead Pool are about to get their payoff!  Maybe.  Whatever resolution this new arc will have, it will be better in the imagining than in the actual.