Backhanded Compliment

Les finally pries open that smirk in today’s strip. Does he continue to live up to his well-earned reputation as the biggest schmuck on the comics page? Boy, does he ever!

This is, perhaps, the perfect test to see if the jerk store called and is running out of you:
Your friend has a panicked expression on his face and is admittedly struggling to breathe, beyond being typically “winded”, what do you do?

– A – Make a joke about his possibly health-threatening condition being an improvement for the environment.
– B – Do pretty much anything else.

Bonus Haiku:
I don’t know what it
Is… but I just can’t seem to
Exhale completely

Even when potentially in need of medical attention, Bull puts forth his second haiku in as many panels. This is notable because it is more than the last three years’ worth of writing from Les and Mopey Pete combined.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Backhanded Compliment

  1. HeyItsDave

    Is this going to be an entire week of Les being a douchebag?

    PG rated parody strip:

    And here’s a link to the R rated version.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Dick Facey…he’s either mocking your health woes or writing a book about them. Either way, he wins and you lose. What a pal. What a dick.


    Is Bull Bushka going to die, here? I would think not, but the recent events in Crankshaft have made this a possibility. Batiuk’s is itching to off another character. He didn’t get his death fill with Rose. His bloodthirsty pen must be sated!

    So I guess we get ready for five straight weeks of shitty revisionist strips on Bull & Les relationship over the years. Though to be fair he has been revising their history even with Bull alive.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    “And if you die and I just roll you over into the bushes and don’t tell anybody, your decomposing body will be good for the soil, which will also be green! Pretty neat, huh, Bull?”

  5. billytheskink

    Does this mean Bull is going to join Funky at Fitness Girl’s gym? After all, decrepit, out-of-shape, middle-aged tennis players are her “meal ticket”.

    In retrospect, I missed a golden opportunity to title this post “What an ace-hole”…

  6. There are a lot of terrible ways to go, but “COPD while Les Moore makes lame jokes about your condition” has got to be up near the top of the list.

  7. bayoustu

    And so begins the long-awaited lung cancer arc!

  8. Gerard Plourde

    I’m wondering too whether Bull is showing signs of COPD or possibly a heart attack. It would be just like Batty to do something like that. After all, Dead Saint Lisa The Cancer Chew-toy Turned Harpy first found out that she had breast cancer after she was tackled In a football game. Maybe Batty hate exercise too.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    This is Act III, nothing will happen. Bull is just dying for Les’ amusement, nothing more. In BanTom’s warped version of “reality”, this is “funny” because back in high school Les was a dorky dweeb and Bull was a fit athlete. And now it’s the other way around…ha ha ha.

    Coming next week: Les taunts Bull by holding his heart pills and refusing to return them until Bull beats him at arm wrestling. At the funeral, Les brings a smirk to Linda’s face as he reminisces about how funny and comical Bull’s obesity and stupidity were.

  10. I’d like to think that this is the arc when Les is finally called on his self-righteous meanness but I know better. He’ll just stand there telling stupid jokes about Bull’s pacemaker or oxygen tank and expect to be congratulated on his cleverness. It’s like how Batiuk wants to be praised for making asinine comments about how bank tellers and cashiers aren’t fond of unrolled change in mass quantities.

  11. spacemanspiff85

    @Paul Jones:
    It’s funny how someone who puts basically zero effort into their own job can not see the hypocrisy in mocking someone else for wanting their job to not be needlessly difficult, isn’t it?

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    Well at least if Bull has a heart attack, he can exit this mess quickly, no long bouts o’ the cancer.

    Batty is probably planning a book about heart attack survivors, how you can help them by humoring them. Keep reaching for that Pulitzer Batty!

  13. sgtsaunders

    Obstructive pulmonary disease, anyone? The boys over at Gil Thorp threw down with the death of Boo Radley and now, well, Bats gotta catch up. Adios, Funky.

  14. It’s funny because Les and Bull are still using the same racquets they had in 1972.

  15. billytheskink
    July 6, 2016 at 11:36 pm
    In retrospect, I missed a golden opportunity to title this post “What an ace-hole”…

    We would also have accepted “Waiting to Exhale” and “CO2PD”.

  16. I guess we need all this Les bullshit now since he was literally the *ONLY* character who wasn’t tangentially related somehow to the Starbuck Jones movie shoot/Cliffe Angere Fanfest sponsored by Ovaltine…

  17. Smirks 'R Us

    If BatHack handles this arc like he did the senior class trip, tomorrow’s strip should be Bull’s wake.

  18. HeyItsDave

    No way, Smirks. A class trip is fun, so T-Bats skips it. He’ll prolong Bull’s suffering and Les’ asshattery as long as possible because he really likes to see his characters in pain. I’m waiting for Bull to fall to the ground and puke from exhaustion so Les can step on face and then teabag him.

  19. @HeyItsDave: “Is this going to be an entire week of Les being a douchebag?”

    Thanks to an eminently forgettable Monday strip featuring MORtON and his insufferable wife, it’s temporally impossible for this to be an ENTIRE week of Les being a douchebag. Then again, Einstein says that sufficiently large masses do warp space and time… and douchebags have mass… and Les is a douchebag of cosmic magnitude. So don’t be too surprised if by the weekend we go back and fine Les smirking somewhere in last Monday’s strip as well…

  20. Oh crap… he’s there…

  21. Why is TB so obsessed with old people (esp. on the other side, with deaths and apparent senility) and soon-to-be old people (on this side, with bodies breaking down en route to same? Does anyone know of personal bio details that have emerged about him to suggest he may simply be trying to reflect real life goings on in his world as some bizarre form of sensitivity ritual? Granted, his leaps of faith are clueless enough to suggest that he has an astonishingly small circle of acquaintances, and precious few interactions with the world at large, like maybe a lone book fair annually, and the stray vacation to Memphis. But the hamfisted nature of all this just suggests a major psychological upheaval in his life that he is unable to fully process, so he’s in trial and error mode, plot wise.