Candy Man Comes Around. Again.

170505Members of any band under the baton of “Noble” laureate Harry Dinkle are compelled to support the enterprise by going door to door peddling turkeys, books, and that sweet, sweet Belgian chocolate. Even a member who uses a walker and who several years ago couldn’t recognize his own son.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Candy Man Comes Around. Again.

  1. Epicus Doomus

    It like he wanted to do a few months worth of “gag a day”-type strips, but the only jokes he could come up with were centered around band candy and the “1970s Outtakes” drawer. Maybe he’s trying to take it (guffaw) easy on the new artist by not giving him anything too emotionally demanding right away (chortle).

    What, the great musical genius can’t bang out a dozen CDs on his laptop and ol’ inkjet printer? Come on, man, it’s 2017 for crying out loud. And for the love of God please, stop with the band candy gags already. Is there anyone here that won’t forever have a deep hatred and loathing for band candy going forward?

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I wonder how much Batiuk thinks it costs to make a CD.
    And really, band candy “jokes” might be funny if there was literally anything more to it than “we’re selling bandy candy”.

  3. billytheskink

    Aren’t these folks in an assisted living facility because they, uh, need assistance? And Dinkle has them going door-to-door unsupervised selling Nutboys?

    Calling this elder abuse isn’t as much of a stretch as it might seem, and I’ll take any excuse to lock Dinkle up.

  4. Charles

    Obviously, they need to buy time at the local studio because this whole thing needs to be done professionally.

    Batiuk can’t possibly think this silly band would be any good, could he? It’s just some elderly people who can’t take care of themselves noodling around on whatever instruments were available. Might as well make albums from performances of fourth graders, although I suppose I shouldn’t give him any ideas.

  5. Batiuk can’t possibly simply have them burn a CD or two if that gets in the way of what he still thinks is the knee-slapper of people hawking band candy. Odd how he never twigged to how funny that isn’t. Now, Crankshaft not wanting to cop to being a destructive moron, that’s mildly amusing in a depressing way but this? No, it’s just stupid.

  6. Rusty Shackleford

    For a strip supposedly about High School kids, there sure are a lot of old people and old people talk.

    Batty writes in his blog about “research” and “special sauce”, but the sauce tastes terrible.

  7. Chyron HR

    You got to come on, ma’am,
    And take a piece of Mr. Dinkle’s band.

  8. bobanero

    Kudos for the Grateful Dead reference today. As for today’s strip, it’s pretty much vintage FW humor, so I can’t snark too much on it.

  9. Comic Book Harriet

    Crankshaft has a lot more going on today. Apparently Crankshaft has been learning from his college age Granddaughter, or modern politicians in general, that by accusing observers of bias and bigotry you can absolve yourself of responsibility for your own actions.

  10. I know TB read this website so this is really for him. Hinkle is still stuck in the 20th century, but the old lady from yesterday’s strip had the right way to go. Let’s forget the fact the seniors had to *buy* the candy they’re now trying to sell and have to now sell enough of it at a large enough profit to recover their initial investment and garner enough money to buy studio time. Or…and I’m just spitballing here…they could create a fan page, post their music to it and use social media to advertise it. Here’s link to the Doctor Who Fan Orchestra. Most of these people aren’t even in the same country, but they are very successful at what they do, which is having fun playing their music (kind of like the folks in the home).

  11. Jimmy

    Just how much money has Dinkle made from his various MLM schemes over the years. Maybe the reason Becky keeps him around is because she’s tens of thousands of dollars in debt in product she’s had to push for Dinkle.

  12. Steely Doc

    Chyron HR, love the Steely Dan reference!


    Right now, could easily record this band using USB microphones and mixing in free software. And upload that bands music to Soundcloud for absolutely no cost. And this is a time period that is years past 2017!!!

  14. FW: It’s funny because Dinkle is forcing assisted living, limited-mobility seniors to go door-to-door hawking candy bars to cover the production costs (which anyone could easily afford out of petty cash, and regardless Dinkle undoubtedly has contacts in the music industry who owe him a free favor) to produce a CD nobody gives a shit about and they wouldn’t be able to GIVE away, much less sell… Dinkle is a meddling, power-mad authoritarian despot who for decades has ruthlessly exploited his musicians and turned them into indentured servants for personal gain. Why isn’t he in prison yet?

    FW 2: If Batiuk was political, this had the potential be a pretty sharp satire of what “job creation” means under the regime of the Trump Junta, but since we know Batiuk isn’t political it just flat-out sucks…

  15. What’s probably most irksome about this setup is that the CD that will result is solely for Dinkle’s self-aggrandizement. The old folks will be trying to sell chocolate with raisins in it in order to put another damned feather in Dinkle’s crown, when what he really needs is more feathers to go with the tar he should be soaking in.