She’ll Never Get Out Of There

Link to today’s strip

Ha…ha. “Cut”…get it? That’s a real howler and the wry banter really enhances the joke too IMO. Sigh. I guess it’ll just go on and on like this for a while, unfortunately. Once again we see our pal Guy McAuthor establish a semi-decent and perfectly functional premise only to gunk the whole thing up with the usual awful wordplay and barely-recognizable “jokes” as Conan enters the FW “why?” Hall Of Shame alongside Dick Tracy, the Flash and that comic book guy who had the heart attack that time. One wonders what the Great Writer had in mind when he started this, back before he became bored with it three seconds later. If he could ever just follow through on one of these premises someday…(sigh).



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

8 responses to “She’ll Never Get Out Of There

  1. This comic strip is really the most depressing thing ever. Is this really how Tom Batiuk wants to be remembered?

  2. billytheskink

    And now everyone has Peyton Manning’s forehead…

    I cannot imagine a Comic-Con crowd staying in an auditorium to listen to this, especially since this story arc has gone back to telling us that none of the people involved in this movie are stars.

    Is Conan holding an iPod or a graphing calculator? Smartphone screens don’t stop halfway down… unless that’s a Blackberry. Wouldn’t that be fitting?

  3. DOlz

    “Is this really how Tom Batiuk wants to be remembered?”

    Like Strom Thurmond who wanted to be remembered as the first Senator to reach a hundred years old while in office, at this point TB just wants to be remembered as a cartoonist that got a golden t-square. Neither one cares or cared about how they got there all they care about is their participation trophy. That my friends is more pathetic than anything TB has ever written.


    Did the aliens from “This Island Earth” take over the world and replace everyone with clones? It would probably explain why Conan is not being funny and just taking shitty puns from B list movie stars.

    And going back to yesterday, you do not have the right to call any actress boyish when your default attractive female model is a slightly effeminate version of Mopey Pete!

  5. Gerard Plourde


    I vote for the iPod. It looks like my ten-year old iPod Classic. How he could search imdb with what is basically a hard drive is a mystery to me.

  6. Hitorque

    1. Please tell me Conan didn’t whip out his phone and look up her IMDB page in the middle of his monologue…

    2. Seriously, do Conan’s people know he’s being portrayed like this? These are some of the worst jokes I’ve ever seen in the Funkyverse and Conan hasn’t even gotten to Cliffe’s communist sympathies yet…

    3. So what the fuck is this event supposed to be, anyway? A meet-and-greet? A discussion panel? A fan-led Q+A? A roast? what?

    4. The *real* way that joke is supposed to go is Marianne saying “Well, they only cut my *face* out of the movie but you can still see HD closeups of my nude boobs, ass and crotch before a chainsaw turned them into human jerky!”

  7. Charles

    So apparently the two stars of the Starbuck Jones movie are more famous for movies they weren’t in than movies they were in.

    “Here, Mason, rather than talking about something you actually did, let’s talk about how you weren’t selected to play James Bond. That’s way more interesting.”


    I’m guessing Conan’s people called him and his words were “Who the hell is Tom Batiuk? What hell is Funky Winkerbean and who the hell reads comics anymore?”. That probably ended the lawsuit talks.