Tag Archives: Conan O’Brien

Take My Sanity! All Of It!

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Yay! Comic book geeks are SO STUPID…amirite? It’s all about the Benjamins…or in this case, the Washingtons and Lincolns. The Cartoon Conan-led Q&A session appears to be over, thank God, as we’re finally at long last almost at the point where the characters will begin to discuss the possibility of the SJ movie eventually someday being released, eventually. And I, like all FW readers, am SO STOKED to hear the various characters talking about how great the unseen movie was before they return to filming more and more and more of them, over and over and over again. Yay!

I’ve always marveled at the way BatNom always includes just a touch of cynical disdain toward everything he loves. Writing and marching bands are torture, comic book collectors are weirdos, Comic-Con is packed with oddballs, Montoni’s pizza isn’t very good, the band box never works and so on. Like today, he can’t just wrap up the SJ Q&A panel on a solid upbeat exciting note, he had to take the time to remind everyone that at the end of the day it’s merely all about money. It’s like he just can’t help himself, there always HAS to be another shoe involved, it always HAS to end on a downbeat note. Sure, it’s just a dumb failed gag in a dumb failed comic strip but still, it’s so predictable and weird.

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The Cure For The Common Qualms

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As regular FW readers know, the only “artist” who ever does anything for the sake of artistic expression is Les Moore, everyone else in the “entertainment business” is an amoral money-grubbing weasel. What the f*ck is Cartoon Conan babbling about here? “Take over” the “large franchise”? What? Who’d he “take it over” from? How can it already be a large franchise when the first one hasn’t even been released yet? Why can’t ANYONE in this stupid f*cking comic strip EVER just ask a normal question?

The funniest thing in this one is Cliff in panel one, inexplicably doddering around for no reason. What is he doing, is he pushing the chair in or pulling it out and if so, why? It’s such a needless-yet-fascinating detail.

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Too Much Junk Business

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This is one of those strips it took me a while to figure out, as at first glance I was totally baffled. OK, apparently they’re doing an audience Q&A session and one of the audience members felt the need to lob rather unimaginative insults at the old WHS computer which, out of completely nowhere, has suddenly become a relevant character again. Continue reading

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Just Holtron To What You’ve Got

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Holtron? What? Are we pretending that the old Act I WHS school computer is sentient again? Why? This is just achingly bad, intelligence-insultingly bad, BAD bad and not in the “good” Michael Jackson way either. What the f*ck is Cliff smirking about and what’s up with Marianne? She looks like she’s about to gnaw on some logs or something there. This whole Comic-Con SJ Q&A panel premise hasn’t just gone off the rails, it’s gone off the rails, plummeted down a steep cliff and landed with a huge splash in a sewage treatment retention pond.

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She’ll Never Get Out Of There

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Ha…ha. “Cut”…get it? That’s a real howler and the wry banter really enhances the joke too IMO. Sigh. I guess it’ll just go on and on like this for a while, unfortunately. Once again we see our pal Guy McAuthor establish a semi-decent and perfectly functional premise only to gunk the whole thing up with the usual awful wordplay and barely-recognizable “jokes” as Conan enters the FW “why?” Hall Of Shame alongside Dick Tracy, the Flash and that comic book guy who had the heart attack that time. One wonders what the Great Writer had in mind when he started this, back before he became bored with it three seconds later. If he could ever just follow through on one of these premises someday…(sigh).

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Boy Howdy

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A female FW character talking about playing a strong female comic book character in a movie. Oh my, that’s just priceless, especially when it’s a female FW character with all the emotional strength of a lost puppy with its head caught in a sewer grate. An alarmingly delicate and naive waif who’s built like a Wheat Thin…maybe that’s Cartoon Conan’s type but sorry there BanTom, you blew the chance to create a buxom marriage-ruining boffo box-office sex vixen movie star character right around when you had this one trying to kill herself over seeing a candid picture of herself kissing Mason Jarre on the cheek. It’s too late to go back now, so have Cartoon Conan put it back in his pants.

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In Space No One Can Hear You Snore

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Conan allowed himself to serve as the butt of a FW gag? What an honor! Seriously though, what a hacky attempt at a joke, seeing how Conan interviews movie stars all the time and surely knows that they don’t really film space flicks in “space” and…

Whoops, there I go again, trying to apply “real life” logic to this comic strip again. Although this Conan cameo is a little strange, it’s old familiar turf for BanTom. You younger readers probably don’t remember the old Act I arc where Dick Cavett talked Les down off the gymnasium rope or that “very special” prestige arc where Lisa told off an irate Morton Downey Jr. or that classic one when Funky passed out drunk in Joe Franklin’s “green room”. And of course there was “John Darling”, the strip that featured “real life” celebrities all the time…supposedly, although interestingly enough there’s no one alive today who can verify for sure that JD was anything more than a fevered dream that never actually happened.

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