Swoon at Noon

Last week’s running gag had Dinkle and Becky walking around reading signs. This week is shaping up to be a series of people letting themselves into the Atomik Komix office and being greeted with “Hey!” Superb draftsmanship today in panel 1: Kitch Swoon appears to be standing in the doorway of an airplane in flight, and Pete is so excited he’s morphed into Shemp Howard. Our colorist gives even less of a damn, leaving Ms. Swoon with white hair rather than the blonde hair she had when we met her last summer. At least Batiuk hasn’t altered or forgotten her name.

Silly monikers have been Funky Winkerbean‘s stock in trade for nearly a half century, from the title character and his friend “Less More,” to the late Coach “Jack Stropp” and forgotten teacher “Rita Wrighton.” These names were semi-witty, facile wordplay. But I’m at a loss to tease sense out of “Kitch [sic] Swoon.” She’s an artsy type for sure (she’s wearing a beret). Does she specialize in “tacky,” lowbrow, populist art? Does the sight of kitsch make her feel like she’s going to faint?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Swoon at Noon

  1. Epicus Doomus

    The dumbest thing about BatYap’s bizarre and unbelievably uneventful comic book sub-universe is how the stories ALWAYS center around some idiotic tangential event that inevitably involves old comic book art and/or dull plodding banter. People stumble into fantastic jobs, rare comic (sigh) book art just falls from the skies, characters have amazing comic book skills they never even knew about, it’s deranged, yet incredibly dull at the same time. And it’s all based on those insane comic (goddammit) book wish-fulfillment fantasies of his, with the old-timey comic (f*ck me) book covers and so forth, the fantasies that never go anywhere. It’s all so twisted and demented. None of the characters actually achieve anything, everything is just bestowed upon them via some strange benevolent comic (!) book source, an all-seeing c***c b**k hand of God sort of thing, but it’s all centered around how comic f*cking books used to be, not how they are now in the actual (more or less) Funkyverse OR in “real life”.

  2. William Thompson

    Hey! Where’s Mindull? Why did she suddenly vanish? Is Kitsch Swoon her secret identity, or vice versa? Why don’t any of these comic-book afficionadopes notice her strange comings and goings?

  3. William Thompson

    “I’m here with a reality check for all of you chuckleheads!”

  4. louder

    Leave it to BatHack to have a woman’s name sounds like kitchen..

  5. William Thompson

    And the giant cash prize goes to–Messica Fairgoof! She’s being honored by the 3M Corporation for her inventive use of Scotch tape in hanging comic-book art in a gallery. Or was that Mindy who did the hanging? Eh, one Funkyverse blonde is as good as another.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    I’m also mystified by Kitsch’s outfit. She looks like she just stepped offstage from playing Brigid O’Shaughnessy in a community theater production of “The Maltese Falcon”. Do gallery owners really dress like that?

  7. Oh, please. Naming all the pun-named characters, but leaving out “Harry Dinkle”? You know Batiuk laughed himself silly when he came up with that one. “Ha ha ha, it’s like a penis, only tiny and hirsute! Oh, the awards I’ll win!”

    • comicbookharriet

      I’m picturing him with his hands clasped over his chest, looking off into the distance dreamily. It’s hilarious. Thank you for bringing this mental image into my life today.

  8. billytheskink

    I’m usually critical of the frequent redundancy in this strip, but I’ll allow it today. The clunky exposition of Kitch Swoon’s name, that she owns the Dibbs Gallery, and the fact that she approached Atomik Komix about supplying art for an exhibition back in July is totally necessary because absolutely no one on this planet cared to remember any of that.

    Really, I used the tags on this post… and I’m the resident archive diver who can count the differences between Dinkle’s two Rose parade trips.

  9. Doghouse Reilly

    One might wonder why it is that Ms. Swoon appears to have aged at least 20 years since her debut last summer, going from a blonde in LBD, scarf, and fishnet stockings to a white-haired matron with fur-collar coat. I say having any sort of interaction with the staff of Atomik Komix will do that to you.

    That being said…”for one of your artists”? Lady, there was only one–pardon the expression–artist on staff the last time you graced us with your presence, as Ruby had yet to be hired. You cannot build suspense, Battyuk, where none exists.

  10. William Thompson

    Why is Kitschy Swoon dressed in black? Who’s dying?

  11. Paul Jones

    I have the queasy feeling that we’re in for a ham-fisted lecture about diversity that still gets to be paternalistic and sexist.

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    Oh, joy. I can’t wait to hear the story’s explanation why one of the Atomix Comix idiots (presumably Darren) deserves a huge paycheck from an art show that happened six months ago. Let me guess, Darren’s artwork is just soooooo amazing that a massive bidding war broke out for the original of Incredible Pulp #1.

  13. Johnny Culver

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Estelle Getty!

  14. The Dreamer

    so who is getting the big check and getting rich? bet its Darrin and rather then buying a new mansion for the wife and kid, he donates all the money to the Lisa’s Legacy Fund. Because Lisa was his mother and he’s inherited her sainthood…

  15. Charles

    I have to love how just anyone can walk into this office and disrupt the workday happening there, without any appointment or forewarning that they’re coming. And I love how Kitch Swoon (wtf) is hand delivering a check that she could have easily mailed. It’s as if Batiuk never met in his life anyone who had to work for a living or who valued their time.

    I’m sure a real boss would love to have his employees deal with their freelance deals while they’re working for him. Good thing for these idiots that Chester isn’t a real boss.

  16. Professor Fate

    Once again we will see rewards showered upon these cretins for no good reason. This typical FW combination of passive characters having roses scattered at their feet is deeply disturbing as it robs the strip of any sort of conflict (the essence of storytelling) and speaks of an unhealthy fantasy wish fulfillment fixation on the part of the Author.

    • Batgirl

      But, but, it can’t be wish fulfillment! Not when the characters will gripe and groan about every piece of luck that falls their way! That’s how they protect themselves from jealous Fates (no relation) punishing them for enjoying themselves for a few seconds.