Epicus Doomus

In Space No One Can Hear You Snore

Conan allowed himself to serve as the butt of a FW gag? What an honor! Seriously though, what a hacky attempt at a joke, seeing how Conan interviews movie stars all the time and surely knows that they don’t really film space flicks in “space” and…

Whoops, there I go again, trying to apply “real life” logic to this comic strip again. Although this Conan cameo is a little strange, it’s old familiar turf for BanTom. You younger readers probably don’t remember the old Act I arc where Dick Cavett talked Les down off the gymnasium rope or that “very special” prestige arc where Lisa told off an irate Morton Downey Jr. or that classic one when Funky passed out drunk in Joe Franklin’s “green room”. And of course there was “John Darling”, the strip that featured “real life” celebrities all the time…supposedly, although interestingly enough there’s no one alive today who can verify for sure that JD was anything more than a fevered dream that never actually happened.

Conan The Roar-barian

Link to today’s strip

Well THIS is somewhat unexpected. The SJ “sizzle reel” has at long last aired (off-screen, natch) and the gang is being introduced to the roaring SJ throng by none other than late night TV’s very own Conan O’Brien, who I used to respect. On the plus side at least this is somewhat relevant to something (tenuously, but still) and not just a bunch of characters meandering around making terrible puns and complaining about things, so there is that, I guess. I love how he worked that old WHS computer in there, sort of like an “easter egg” for loyal FW readers (LOL) who remember that minor subplot from way back when.

Un-A-Track-Tive

Link to today’s strip

Look at that first panel, it just screams “I have nothing here”. And whaddya know…he doesn’t. Unless you consider today’s bit of woeful wordplay to be “something”, which I do not. Still though, after two weeks of marching band gags I’m willing to accept this one even in spite of Dick Facey’s loathsome presence. What a dick.

And that’s it for me, fellow snarkers…stay tuned for the Funk-tastic snark stylings of billytheskink, who hopefully manages to avoid the onslaught of band gags that haunted me this time around!

Garage Turkeys Re-Re-Visited

Link to today’s strip

Uh yeah Becky, they’ll “celebrate” with a “holiday (presumably Memorial Day) meal” consisting of ancient freezer-burned band turkeys…a prospect that apparently amuses Becky to no end based on her deranged wry smirking. Not even a rotting band turkey would land with a thud as leaden as this gag, which was quite clearly a desperate “hail Mary” attempt to fill that last sad and empty word balloon with SOMETHING…anything…no matter how incredibly dumb it was. A silent strip featuring the band parents walking out to the parking lot and starting their cars would have been way, way funnier than this.

Ahhh-Trophy

Link to today’s strip

Someone, please, make it stop. Today we see just how bad a marching band gag can get, as BatNom reaches the bottom of the barrel, plunges his fist straight through it and grabs a handful of slug and worm-riddled soil beneath said barrel…just because he can. See, the horrible marching band full of useless slacker teens wins SO MANY TROPHIES that they actually need an ENTIRE BUILDING to house them. And fortunately for the marching band, WHS JUST HAPPENS to have an entire building to SELL to the perennially-cash strapped band, which is rather fortuitous if I do say so myself. Everyone wins! Well, almost everyone, as regular FW readers might not consider Becky’s truly obnoxious Dinkle-esque cackle as being a “win”. I do like that weird angle in panel two, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her pinned-up sleeve from that perspective before.