TFHackett

John Philip Snooze-a

I hope you’ve all enjoyed the stellar snark of Epicus Doomus these last two weeks as much as I have! A new mystery guest author sits in starting Monday, July 15! —TFH

Discuss: “Sousa marches sound best when they’re surrounded by a town square.” Well, for starters, it seems rather like the town square is surrounded by the music: it waves through the air like one of those advertising banners that gets towed by a small plane. And I’d wager that Sousa marches sound best when they’re played by, say, the United States Marine Band. When played by an ensemble small enough to fit in a gazebo that’s about the size of my bathroom, they sound, well, okay.

So in his retirement, “Harry seems to be working harder than ever”? Really? Harder then he did when he used to force his students to march in torrential rains? Harder than when he used to personally deliver band turkeys? Since he hung up his band director hat, all we’ve seen Harry doing is lurking around the high school and occasionally schmoozing with his fellow music educators.

That Evening with Frankie

It wouldn’t be A Very Special Funky Winkerbean Story Arc if Batiuk didn’t manage to work in a Sunday comic book tribute. Interestingly, Batiuk’s Medina homeboy Tony Isabella featured this very comic book cover on his blog a little over a year ago. Also worth noting that while the guy pictured here has the same skin tone as the woman, that the FW colorist has made him positively swarthy. He’s like Lenny in reverse.

The Lisa-Frankie “romance” so far: insecure “new girl” can’t believe that the handsome jock has asked her out. He picks her up in his leopard-print upholstered bread truck. Later, they attend a party where they both consume alcohol. On the way home, Frankie stops in an alley where we must assume they had unprotected sex. Lisa’s journal only informs us that this was not a good idea, but was she in fact raped? What were her “high expectations” when Frankie parked in that alley? Did her low self esteem lead her to just go along despite her better judgment? Nothing to this point suggests that this was non-consensual (“Uncle Jfff’s” recollection of the near-punching seems to have taken place either after the sex or on a different night–Lisa’s dressed differently). In the 2001 flashback to Lisa’s teen pregnancy, she even offhandedly describes Frankie as a “lousy” lay.

What makes today’s panel so infuriating, of course, is that interview Batiuk gave back in March, where he teased this story arc:

In the return of that story we deepen the teen pregnancy story and say that it was a little more than just youthful indiscretion on Lisa’s part. There was some coercion involved (emphasis added).

With that, Batiuk goes above and beyond “tell don’t show”: he’s telling about “telling, not showing”. Any coercion on Frankie’s part, particularly of an alcohol-impaired Lisa, makes TB’s evocation of “Romance” today stupid, tone-deaf, and wrong.

Solo Car Cup Date

Many thanks to DavidO for guest posting lo these last two weeks! A new mystery guest poster steps in Monday; stay tuned!

It must be the beer goggles kickin’ in: teenage Lisa looks sorta cute as she gamely chugs her Iron City draft and Frankie looks on approvingly. Her hair, while still frizzy, bears less resemblance to a poodle cut; she’s been given a chin, and her lab safety eyewear is replaced by stylish frames.

Spotty Humor

It’s surprising how Tombat is able to draw a teenager relaxing cross-legged on their bed that stiff and unnatural. Anyone hoping Summer was going to take off that hoody at some point is going to be disappointed by today’s strip.

Are these pajamas now? What part of her shapeless build and Pete Rose haircut even remotely suggests this is a girl we’re looking at?

School’s Out for Summer

I thought “the kibosh” had been put on everything yesterday, but the stupidest story arc in FW history continues with today’s expositionfest.

It stands to reason that since Summer and Keisha arrived at KSU a month after classes began, that they’d be coming home a month after they’ve ended. Les regales the girls with a rehash of the last two months of strip “action” (oh, wait: he left out “Your half-brother Darin is going to be the birth father of his wife John Darling’s daughter Jessica’s daughter”).