Do quit your day job

Et tu, Skyler? Crazy being baffled anyone would think he looks like Santa Claus while wearing a Santa Claus hat was bad enough… but today’s strip sees Skyler puzzled that Santa Claus spends time away from the North Pole? Has the kid never been to a mall? A store with a Salvation Army bell-ringer out front? A December Rotary Club fundraiser?

Actually, Given Westview’s general economic and retail landscape, that may be believable. The inquiry “North Pole?”, however…

As pretty much every single one of us beady-eyed nitpickers noted yesterday, Skyler was born in 2013, eight years ago (in fact, his birthday was November 22, just a few weeks ago), and has demonstrated his ability to speak in complete sentences on multiple occasions in the past. His regression to the verbal ability of a two year-old is a puzzling and insipid development, but no less so than a number of other things that have happened in this strip in Act III. Tomorrow may well find Kevin Garnett (no, not that Kevin Garnett, this guy after a visit to the Pete Reynolds New Last Name Store) correctly shouting “Anything is possible!” It’s true, we’re all living in Phil Holt’s world now.

No No No, Who Wouldn’t Go?

Hi, I’m billytheskink and I love Christmastime. A lot. So folks who find me insufferably cheery at this time of year can take some solace in knowing that this year I have volunteered to take time away from playing holiday novelty records just a bit too loudly and dumping sprinkles on yet another batch of cookies to read AND write about Funky Winkerbean.

Crazy, you’ve had a beard for decades… no one has ever compared you to Santa Claus when you wear red? Not one time? Reading today’s strip, you would think Skyler is the first person ever to make the connection between a bearded man in a red hat and old Kris Kringle.

Skyler’s smarter than he looks, though. He knows that with parents like his, he’d better go straight to Santa to make sure he winds up with something good this year, and not (Starbuck Jones-themed) clothes again… or the coal that Durwood and Jess are sure to find in their stockings.

It Was Good a Call

This is not a doctored panel.

Yeesh, the things Dead Skunk Head gets emotional about…One thing I’ll say about reading and commenting about FW on a regular basis: you can learn a lot. I never knew until this week what a comics “pull list” is, nor that you could download comics online. All this knowledge absorption  has worn me out. Luckily billytheskink rides to our rescue, starting Monday, bringing plenty of ammo for shooting all these fish in a barrel. Save a seat for in me in the comments section, won’t you? Happy holidays and thanks for reading.

Pull List Surprise

Mindy is the last person in the room who needs to apologize. Pete literally had his back turned as his fiancé got in a shouting match with a stranger. John was nowhere to be found while this was happening, and even after the jerk is gone still does not come out from behind the counter.

Sourbelly
December 8, 2021 at 10:52 pm
Why not just tell this weirdo the truth: “Sure, loser, we produce garbage, but we make 100x more money than you do, and we barely do any work! We win!”

Yesterday’s strip may have been the big F you to the critics, but today we get the victory lap. OK, we’re talking comic strips vs. comic books, but those checks from King Features Syndicate keep rollin’ in. And you and I may not have to pay for the privilege, but we snarkers are his most loyal readers. Not because we like it, though.

Minsplaining

The Duck of Death
December 9, 2021 at 9:23 am
[Tom Batiuk] knows or cares so little about actual women that when he actually has one show a little spirit, it’s only in the service of what he, a man, wishes he could say.

Now it’s Mindy’s turn to be the one intimidating a stranger. She leans into Travis Brickel’s personal space: commenting about his “butt,” poking him in the chest, and mingling/mangling sporto metaphors. Only when Mindy’s neutralized the threat does Pete feel emboldened to step in, though he still feels he must use little Skyler as a human shield.