Son of Stuck Funky – Page 27 – Son of Stuck Funky

Murder In The Burnings: The Major Suspects

We continue our look at arson suspects with the more serious candidates. Some names aren’t on either list, because they will turn up later in the story. But let me know if I missed your favorite.

SUSPECT: Cayla Williams Moore (suggested by: bewareofevehill)

PROSECUTION: The wife of Westview English teacher, Les Moore, and personal assistant to high school principal Nate Green. Cayla witnessed her husband defy her boss’ mandate that books on the school’s not-approved list are also not approved to be taught. Les confided in Cayla about the plan to distribute the book via bookstores. Fed up with Les’s overbearing ego, Cayla used that information in an attempt to frame him for the arson. The damage was intentionally small, because Cayla had no other dispute with Ms. McKenzie.

DEFENSE: If she wanted to use fire to rid herself of her husband, there are more direct approaches. Doesn’t anyone remember The Burning Bed? Continue reading “Murder In The Burnings: The Major Suspects”

Murder In The Burnings: The Minor Suspects

So the burnings have suddenly turned into the world’s lamest Choose Your Own Adventure game. And we all know what the correct answer is in this world:

She’s got two valid reasons to call the police, a threatening mob standing in puddles of their own unburned accelerant, and the world’s greatest arsonist right next to her. But you do you, Lillian. Lord knows you have stellar judgment when it comes to not censoring other peoples’ reading material.

Continue reading “Murder In The Burnings: The Minor Suspects”

No Stranger To Controversy

Starting in the late 80’s, Batiuk’s obsequious period would end…and his smugly self-righteous period would gradually pick up steam.

The response to ‘Lisa’s Very Special Story About Teen Pregnancy’ was overwhelmingly positive. By Batiuk’s own admission, greater than any response he’d ever gotten. But, of course, there were a couple letters to the editor from people annoyed that their funny pages were being used for edu-tainment pamphlet.

And Batiuk took that criticism like an underbalanced weeble-wobble, dancing joyfully at receiving a weak slap.

Just a Little Godwin’s Law…

As a treat.

(Longer post going up this weekend.)

Stack Overflow

You guys have been KILLING it in the comments this week. I haven’t seen such creative and joyful art spun from such tone deaf dross since Stephen Colbert covered Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ on The Late Show with Jimmy Fallon. And this time I didn’t even have to put up with Jimmy Fallon to enjoy it.

I just had to put up with Les Moore.

I’m not here to put a damper on this at all. By all means! Keep the crazy theories coming. I know BJ6K has been collecting all the suspects and collating them into some truly epic posts. But how about a little history lesson palate cleanser, in the meantime?