And The Oscar For Best Cancer-Stricken Actress Starring In A Movie About Being Stricken With Cancer Goes To…

Link To Today’s Implausible Development

“I’d like to thank everyone, but especially Lisa Moore, whose untimely death made all this possible. Thank you, Lisa, wherever you are, for inspiring me and an entire generation of young women by, you know, dying and stuff. You like Lisa…you really, really like Lisa!”.

Oh brother. The last time we heard about “Lisa’s Story-The Movie”, Les was disinterestedly shrugging it off as yet another bothersome nuisance he didn’t have time to care about one way or the other. But, after overseas distribution and yadda yadda yadda, Les’ masterpiece is being dragged back into the spotlight yet again. Unlike Lisa, it just refuses to die and, just like Lisa, it just keeps coming back, over and over and over again. Sigh.

Hooray? For Hollywood?

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh-oh. Looks like BatHam isn’t ready to shut the coffin lid and shovel dirt on “Lisa’s Story-The Movie” just quite yet. Back around Halloween when Les was sneering derisively and shrugging disinterestedly about how the cancer movie bombed, it looked like that whole sordid episode was over, but if I’ve learned one thing over the course of Act III, it’s that Lisa and her story will never, ever, completely “go away”.

I have to believe that given the time of year and the subject matter here, most of our readers probably have a pretty fair idea re: where this could be going. Sigh. Hopefully it’s not entirely Les-centric, but it would seem that he’ll be involved somehow, and any Les is too much.

In Fact, Terrible

Link To The Sunday Strip

Four generic superheroes battling four generic super villains in front of a plain background…THIS is what they toiled over all week? And look at Flash in the reality bubble, all smug and self-satisfied, like he actually accomplished something. I wish he’d do an arc where Chester shits himself over the astoundingly terrible work these imbeciles keep cranking out. “Wayback Wendy”, “Pion”, “Scorch”…I mean come on. Chester has to be losing money hand over fist on this horseshit.

I really, really need for this arc to be over. I mean yes, it’ll take way more than that to truly break me, but this one really tested my patience. Fortunately, it would appear that Mason Jarre is on deck, to take us in a “different direction”, hopefully a direction that has nothing to do with comic books or marching bands. If it turns out he wants to do an animated film about a marching band composed entirely of superheroes, that might be all for me.

It’s All About The He Said He Said Comic Book Bullshit

Link To Saturday

A dumb premise, centered around two characters no one cares about, executed poorly…this one truly had it all. My goal is to forget about Phil, Flash and their imbecilic comic book drivel as quickly as possible, which should be really, really easy. I’ve seen plenty of stupefying, tedious FW arcs in my day, but man oh man, this one was right up (or down) there with ANY of them. Hopefully tomorrow’s comic book cover shovels dirt on this thing, because it’s definitely time to move the f*ck on from whatever this was supposed to be.

Q: What’s Batom’s Favorite Element? A: Bore-On

Link To This One

At a quick glance, “hadron” is real, real close to “hardon”, which might have made for a WAY more compelling super villain if you ask me. So what’s the deal with “Pion”? Is he or she supposed to be some sort of punk rock cheerleader or something? I mean, what would sub-atomic themed super villains even do?

Please, I was just thinking out loud so don’t take me literally and start to speculate, as no one needs or wants that. With each painfully slowly passing day, it becomes more and more obvious why Flash and Phil were out of work for fifty years. And correct me if I’m wrong here, but weren’t they all just standing around talking as recently as yesterday? So when did Phil draw this shit? Again, no need to actually answer that.