You Should Never Have Opened That Door

Today’s Strip Link To

And today the pace hits absolute zero. Something HAS to “happen” now, as we’re at peak entropy (Batiuktropy). The laws of comic strip physics simply will not allow BatTrudge to drag this scenario out any further.

Coming tomorrow: a rare Sunday single panel strip featuring an Adeela silhouette saying “hello?”.

Monday: “Hello?”

Tuesday: “Hmmm. There doesn’t seem to be anyone here. It’s dark and scary. I will proceed further.”

Wednesday: ICE agent silently watches.

Thursday: ICE agent: “Hold tight, team, she’s almost….”.

Friday: “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SCUMBAG!”

Saturday: shocked Adeela.

Sunday: “What is this that is happening to me?”

Prove me wrong, Mr. Pulitzer Nominee sir, prove me wrong.

The Night The Lights Went Out In Westview

Link To Friday’s Strip

It’s like that scene in “Goodfellas” near the end where Jimmy tries to lure Karen into a shady storefront under the pretense of giving her boosted clothes so he can presumably kill her. Only way dumber and with terrible dialog. And pizza. I mean didn’t Adeela grow up in the most dangerous country in the world? Surely she’s not dumb enough to fall for THIS old gag…is she?

And why do the cops need to set up this elaborate ruse to ensnare Adeela in the first place? Couldn’t they have just raided Montoni’s, busted the place up, tased her and dragged her away? I mean look at her, she’s pretty much a female Funky in a hijab, it’s not like she’s going to run away or get very far if she does. But here they are, setting up a whole pizza sting operation, complete with tails and fake storefronts. What was the plan if Cory or Our Other Delivery Guy showed up? The plot holes are more like gaping plot maws now, creating their own inexorable story-sucking gravity and swallowing all common sense and plausibility.

Suspense…(sigh)…Builds

Link To Today’s

Good Lord. No one else tells stories like this. No one else has ever even considered it, in fact. He telegraphs exactly what’s going to happen days in advance then takes for-f*cking-ever to get there. If she just says “hmmm, looks empty, I’d better call them” in the first panel the story is suddenly going three times faster. But our pal BatHak simply doesn’t do things that way. If he ever made a movie it’d be thirty hours long AFTER editing.

And it’s not like we’re gaining any insight about the character here, as she’s just thinking out loud for some reason. Those word balloons really should be thought bubbles.

Snappy Answers To Pizza Questions

Link To The Thing

“No, it’s what’s left of my dignity. I’m taking it out to the dumpster.”

“No, obviously they’re comic books, YOU CLOD!”

“No, it’s an IED. Now excuse me, I have to get to the post office.”

It’s impossible not to laugh at panel one, as it’s SUCH an imbecilic question. They work in a pizzeria, Cory is holding a pizza delivery bag and he’s walking toward the exit. What the f*ck else would it be? Something tells me that Adeela might not be pizzeria manager material.

“Use my driver’s license”…hmmm, I never really thought about it like that before. And who the f*ck is their “driver”? You mean there’s ANOTHER as-yet-unknown Montoni’s employee out there? How is that even possible? And they work together, why wouldn’t they call this “driver” by his or her name? Who speaks like this? Am I to believe this situation NEVER arose before now? How is THAT even possible?