Tiny Tuesday Terribles

Link to today’s strip.

As noted yesterday by Fearless Leader, today’s strip was not available for preview…nor will tomorrow’s Thursday’s.  It’s really weird the way Batiuk and his publisher feel that these things have to be protected like precious flowers that will wither if subjected to too much light.

So, yesterday we were introduced to “Kitch Swoon,” a name which has a level of dumbness fairly typical of this strip.  In a world of Mason Jarres, Butter Brinkles and Zanzibars, what’s Kitch Swoon but another addition to the eyeroll list.

Apparently, she needs help which only a comicbook publisher’s staff can provide.  Let’s guess:  she’s having some grand opening, with a number of famous guests, and she needs terrible artwork and poorly-written bios to help publicize the thing.  Either that, or she needs help moving and lifting heavy things, in which case she should prepare for disappointment.

No matter what, I bet we’re on the way to being hit with more awards!

One Mere Monday

Link to today’s strip.

Monday’s strip was not available for preview.  I’m going to guess it’ll be the start of the threatened “Funky-Crankshaft” crossover, and it will involve Pete and Mindy going to the state fair.  There, they’ll talk about how melancholy it all is.

Sorry for pulling a Batiukian move like this, but I’ve got early morning work tomorrow and can’t stay late enough for the thing to drop.

Veally Lame

This strip is another in the long line of Batiuk Sunday strips that really only need to be two panels. And like usual for Batiuk, it’s a really weak joke. Mommy bag, ha ha. I kind of doubt Holly’s mom will be mentioned again anytime soon, since the only reason she is here is so Batiuk can deploy the hilarious gag he thought up. Although I really can see Holly and Funky going house shopping. That would be the right combination of tedious and misery inducing for this strip. And where are Holly and Funky eating? I thought for sure Westview just had Montoni’s and the Toxic Taco.

Thanks for putting up with me again!  Beckoning Chasm takes over tomorrow.

Perfectly Gross

More confirmation that this strip has devolved into nothing more than the author’s favorite characters having their wildest dreams fall into their laps today. Given how all we’ve really seen of Darin’s drawing skills is Sophomoric Sightings I don’t think this is really saying much. And I strongly doubt Pete’s writing skills would produce much of a woman, either.
What do you think Jess and Darin are talking about? I think it’s either “Did you know chimpanzees and silent film stars can be part of a murderous love triangle?” or “Wow, your significant other only wears Flash Underoos, too?!”.

Batiukian Butt Banter

So . . . it took Jess several years (it’s been years, right? it hasn’t just felt like years?) after she finished the documentary about Her Father, John Darling, Who Was Murdered, to realize that the Hollywood Biz Life wasn’t for her? And what exactly did The Biz do to him? He got murdered by a psycho because he was an asshole. I don’t recall that it was The Biz that turned him into an asshole, I’m pretty sure that’s just who he was.

Is it me or does Jess look pretty creepy in this strip? Like I kind of feel that Baituk instructed the artist to make sure he really showcased her “sexiness” or something. And speaking of badly drawn women, when I first read this I really thought Jess had flown back to L.A. already and was talking to Cindy, but no, that’s Mindy. I think. I really cannot keep track of these identically drawn Attractive Young Blondes Batiuk’s been showcasing lately.

Oh, and going back to the topic of assholes, Crankshaft (who had a love/hate relationship with someone literally named Keesterman) apparently talked about buttering asses enough that his granddaughter remembers it fondly, decades later.