Son of Stuck Funky

Hoppy Easter!

This is more brief announcement than a post. The next installment of the Animal Headed John series will go up tomorrow night, as today I was busy hiding old Valentine’s Day candy in little plastic eggs in my house for my housemate to find, and greedily drinking in all the cookie baking compliments I could wring from my family members. We’re talking Les Moore levels of smug every time someone bit into one of these bunny shaped bad boys.

For those of you reading who celebrate the season, I pray your day was joyful. For those of you who don’t I hope you still had an awesome day, too.

All of us, no matter our beliefs, can together enjoy the mad rush of Half-Price Mini Eggs day tomorrow.

Crankshaft celebrates Easter like a California Millennial with a Catholic grandma across the country. About once every 10 years, just for the cameras, to make the old lady shut up. This year was an off year for him. So enjoy these reprints of prior celebrations.

*I feel like this is a decent set up lacking a good punchline. Something like, ‘Too much candy is bad for him.’ ‘What about you?’ ‘The sacrifices we make for children…’*

*Classic Crankshaft as it should be. Part of me thinks the final panel should be silent, but other than that, a solid strip.*

SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DAMN MOMMY ISSUES JEFF YOU’RE SIXTY FRIKKIN YEARS OLD
(Oh, do NOT remind Tom that Jeff is part Ukrainian. I do not need him to use another war as a soapbox.)

Give Me Some Slack

All Gory, Lard, and Horror, to you Repulsive King,

Look, it’s been a weird week, okay? So you’re getting weird art. Tornados to the north and south of us. Windstorm here. Ripped off my parent’s chimney and broke four power lines. (But everyone, everycat, and everymoo in CBHville is safe.) Weird.

Crank On This

I’ve tried to be patient about this, and I warned everyone back in December that I wasn’t going to allow this to happen to SoSF, but I’m just about at my wit’s end with the incessant “Crankshaft” patter. “Dinkshaft” is brilliant, and the parody strips are great, and I don’t even mind the cow posts either, but the long-winded discussions about Ed, Lillian, Pm, Jff and the rest of that sad-sack sorry lot of unfunny elderly goons has to be dialed back a few notches, at the least. Sorry, but I’m not going to continue to grease the gears behind the scenes to provide the world with a platform to discuss that piece of crap. Now, I don’t want to be overly hostile about it, but this is Son Of Stuck Funky, not Crankshaft Korner. Either stay on topic, or I’ll shut the whole thing down. This is the final warning, folks. You’re either with me, or against me. That is all. For now.

Maid to Order

Today’s Dinkshaft Double Feature is brought to you from the pen of Chuck Ayers, the words of Tom Batiuk, and the diabolical mind of TFH.