Sophomoric Sighings

Oh boy, more puns, which are, aside from smirks and bitching, pretty much the currency of Westview. Today’s strip gives us a confusing insight into Darin while serving up a lame, lame pun that’s been done so much better before.

Is he an MBA hotshot app developer who helped Funky develop an app or a full-fledged pizza employee? And when does he have time for all this work when he’s supposed to be raising a baby, too? What happened to Les’s neck in panel three!?

doughbinsmall
Real life, which is 1,000 times funnier than this strip

Fun-ky CancerCancer

SoSfDavidO here! Hmm, it appears that the word “fun” is being tossed around again in reference to Darin illustrating the long battle his mother had with the cancer that eventually killed her. Today’s strip is really a head-scratcher. Usually I’m in the “Ok, Tom, we get it, cancer sucks” crowd” but this week’s crop of strips have flipped around to make cancer seem like it has all the medical annoyance an impacted wisdom tooth.

On top of that, is any of this stuff even cleared with Les’s publisher? I assume Les doesn’t really own the rights fully to Lisa’s Story anymore since he sold the book. I’m sure this being Westview that things will all somehow work out but dumping this box of doodles on your publisher’s doorstep and expecting a book deal out of it seems like a long, long stretch.

Edit: Actually, it would appear that the “How Les Met Cayla” is what Darin has been illustrating this whole time. Sorry for the mixup! *slaps self!*

Cancerous Attitude

I guess drawing a comic about someone slowly dying of cancer is a lot of fun because from the looks of things in today’s strip Boy Wonder can’t get enough! If it’s not too much trouble, maybe Les can get crippling gout so we can have a comic about that, too.

Obviously, things get a bit meta here with the existing Lisa’s Legacy book existing within the comic. It’s amazing how fast this thing was crapped out compared to how long the book Les was working on and the yet-unmade movie is taking.

Snore Ensemble

Link To Today’s Strip

Just a few short years ago, Pa Bean was suffering from dementia so severe he could do little more than mutter incoherently. But now, just completely out of nowhere, he’s a lovable wisecracking old coot who can suddenly read music, play the trombone AND smoke cigarettes (and possibly the funniest character in the strip as well). Once again Batiuk uses “tragedy” to wring out a few dollops of cheap easy pathos, then reverts to his wordplay and pun-filled natural state while ignoring the character history he himself established. He basks in the attention he gets for the subject matter then he abandons it after it’s served its purpose (talking points for boring interviews). What a hack.

We also see another one of his diabolical little “writing” tricks on display as well. Instead of telling one of his inane little stories from start to finish like a normal person, he inexplicably hopscotches around from story to story in a random way (as you’ll also see next week when you’re saying to yourself “oh yeah, THAT thing again”). IMO he does it deliberately for the purpose of confusing and alienating potential readers so they’ll avoid the strip thus making it easier to churn out this idiotic drivel while exerting as little effort as is humanly possible. It’s all part of the scam. It has to be.

And this f*cking Dinkle asshole. Remember when he used him to wring a little more of that aforementioned pathos out of him by causing him to go deaf? Now, of course, he’s an “adorable” old coot, beloved by all despite being a real jerk most of the time. And he apparently hears just fine now. Now THAT’S Batiukian. It’s a certain indefinable quality that separates FW from things that makes sense and entertain.

So lesson one is: if you’re suffering from Alzheimer’s or profound hearing loss, head on over to Westview where miracles await (not applicable with cancer, that’s a crap shoot). Lesson two is: if you’re looking to find out just how little momentum a “story” can have, welcome to paradise. Likewise if you’re looking for poorly-realized (and very stupid) characters, godawful “writing” and/or truly terrible jokes, puns and gags that center around idiotic bits of dumb wordplay. It’s also terrific if you’re the sort of person who enjoys the beginning of stories but not so much the middles and the endings.

Yikes, that was a lot of complaining over a relatively inoffensive piece of FW claptrap, eh? Oh well. Stay tuned, as the Original SoSF Guest Snarker DavidO makes his triumphant return.

Oh…Bull. Crap.

Link To Today’s Silliness

Uh, no Les, you moron, it isn’t really a “long story” at all. Cindy is out in La-La Land Buddyblogging and boinking Mason Jarr, so she couldn’t do it. That’s it. One sentence. And why the f*ck is he sulking again already? He did nothing, Bull just pulled his ass out of the fire and exactly one second later he’s pouting and moping again. What. A. Dick.

“Why sure, Les. I’ll screw over the kids in my basketball camp so you don’t look like a complete moron! Their parent’s checks have already cleared!”. I think he would have agreed to just about anything there. “Why sure Les, you can use the gym for your gun show/pornography convention/legal highs symposium/wife’s funeral!”. I mean don’t they need to run this scheme by someone with a little actual authority in the school district? They’re always complaining about their budget shortfalls but they’re always playing fast and loose with WHS resources too. There’s a sort of arrogance about it all that probably explains why the Westviewian locals are always shooting down the school levy every year, you know? And that f*cking Les is almost always behind it all, too.

Coming next week: The anxiously-awaited reunion ends in tragedy as Mary Sue and Funky collide in a dimly-lit section of the gym and ninety-four souls are lost. The survivors envy the dead. An inquiry reveals that WHS’ liability insurance does not cover unauthorized gym events and the town is forced into bankruptcy. Bull somehow remains as athletic director, though.