Tag: Alex

Just Say (Oh) No

Today’s strip

All day I’ve been wondering what TomBat had in store for us this week and not even for a second did I ever consider the possibility of an Alex arc, much less one that involves (GASP!!!!) drugs. I can’t say that I remember this deviant Anon-O-Goon’s name or if he even has one, but henceforth I will refer to him as George as a sort of tribute to his special “WHAM!” sound efffect. So George saw Alex eating a few pills after lunch and automatically assumed they were recreational drugs, which, in his defense, is a reasonable assumption given where she lives, where she goes to school, who she hangs out with and so on. But in any event, instead of politely inquiring about the possibility of procuring a taste for himself, George angrily threatens Alex, demanding her stash right there and then. The nerve of him! At least offer to trade her one of your cyanide caps (aka Westviewian Prozac), dude.

UPDATE: Is that supposed to be Wedgeman, WHS’ resident bully? I guess it is, my bad. Wasn’t Wedgeman a senior last year, back when he was terrorizing Owen and Cody? Oh well, perhaps that trivia will all be clarified at the funeral after his overdose.

Zom-pliment

Carrie
October 3, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Proof that outside of Lisa, Batiuk can only draw three kinds of women: homely, fat and older than they are; look like guys or hatchet-faced.

That is generally true; however in today’s strip, Alex is made to resemble a homely, fat, older hatchet-faced guy. A grand slam! Actually, she resembles Les’ bag-lady-turned-superagent Ann Apple.

Mallory’s “costume” consists of a nice dress which would’ve been appropriate even for a non-Zombie homecoming, and a couple randomly applied dabs of grime (and is this the un-bloodiest zombie gathering ever?). Actually, she does look pretty good, particularly for a Batiuk female, but we’ll let the Goth chick enjoy her little zinger.

The Business End

Today’s strip

Naturally, anything called “Merchant’s Day” would have to feature the only two functioning businesses in Westview.  What I don’t get is how cavalierly John runs his comic book shop.  Here are a couple of potential customers who, yeah, might not read comics themselves, but might know people who do and thus might buy gifts, and John can’t even be bothered to look up.  Isn’t he perpetually behind in his rent payments?  Isn’t the entire town continually strapped for cash?  Does he not want to even try to make money?  Look at the expression on his face:  it just screams “Get out of my shop.  Get out of my shop.  If I don’t look up maybe they’ll just go away.”

Besides, given the fact that John frequently proselytises everyone about the art and value of comic books, you would think in his world there wouldn’t be anyone who wasn’t a potential fan, just waiting to have him open up a whole new world for them.  Yet here he doesn’t even try.

Yes, I do know that the words “try” and “attempt” and “strive” and so forth are considered curse words in Westview, but the continual avoidance of those activities is just so.  Damned.  Wearying.

…come to think of it, this particular episode seems to sum up Funky Winkerbean in a nutshell.  “Look…here’s something.”  Lady, if you only knew how wrong you are.  “Never mind…this isn’t a store.”  You know what else it isn’t?  A joke.  The joke is right here, and it’s on us.

Hater Tots

So you thought that put a neat bow on the whole bullying issue? Today the bullying has escalated a hundredfold. Wedgeman and his boys unrestrainedly pelt Alex with tater tots, while the rest of the student body either ignores it or joins in the laughter. You’d think that having faced down the bullies seemingly on his own yesterday, Owen would be emboldened to confront them again; instead, he wisely looks around for a teacher, but is dissuaded by Alex. Her forbearance in the face of such abuse borders on masochism. Rather than making her feel inferior, the bullying actually gives Alex a feeling of superiority over her tormentors. Take that, bullies!

I’m pleased to announce that this Tuesday, April 9th is Son of Stuck Funky’s third anniversary! Let’s give away a book! Be sure to check back here Tuesday for a chance to win a copy of The Complete Funky Winkerbean, Volume II!