Batiukmobile® – Page 8 – Son of Stuck Funky

The Night The Lights Went Out In Westview

It’s like that scene in “Goodfellas” near the end where Jimmy tries to lure Karen into a shady storefront under the pretense of giving her boosted clothes so he can presumably kill her. Only way dumber and with terrible dialog. And pizza. I mean didn’t Adeela grow up in the most dangerous country in the world? Surely she’s not dumb enough to fall for THIS old gag…is she?

And why do the cops need to set up this elaborate ruse to ensnare Adeela in the first place? Couldn’t they have just raided Montoni’s, busted the place up, tased her and dragged her away? I mean look at her, she’s pretty much a female Funky in a hijab, it’s not like she’s going to run away or get very far if she does. But here they are, setting up a whole pizza sting operation, complete with tails and fake storefronts. What was the plan if Cory or Our Other Delivery Guy showed up? The plot holes are more like gaping plot maws now, creating their own inexorable story-sucking gravity and swallowing all common sense and plausibility.

Suspense…(sigh)…Builds

Link To Today’s

Good Lord. No one else tells stories like this. No one else has ever even considered it, in fact. He telegraphs exactly what’s going to happen days in advance then takes for-f*cking-ever to get there. If she just says “hmmm, looks empty, I’d better call them” in the first panel the story is suddenly going three times faster. But our pal BatHak simply doesn’t do things that way. If he ever made a movie it’d be thirty hours long AFTER editing.

And it’s not like we’re gaining any insight about the character here, as she’s just thinking out loud for some reason. Those word balloons really should be thought bubbles.

Deep (Dish) Cover

Link To Today’s Filler

“Adeela exited Montoni’s carrying a pizza for delivery. She walked through Montoni’s front door toward the delivery car. The car had a Montoni’s decal on the door. Adeela opened the door and placed the pizza inside the delivery car. The ICE agent watched from the shadows. He used his phone to alert the other agent about Adeela’s departure.”

Right there, that explains the lack of Pulitzers. Once again BatNard has written a story that consists entirely of plot holes. Oh, and padding…a shit-ton of padding. They can’t just go and arrest Adeela, they have to go through a whole logic and continuity-defying process first, for no other reason than to make the goddamned story longer. Remember, this is Adeela’s very first delivery, thus the ICE agent either a) got really lucky, b) bugged Montoni’s or c) has a mole on the inside. Maybe Rocky finked Adeela out in an attempt to get more screen time.

Westview: Silent Hill Edition

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, look at that background in panel one! It’s going to be great when Pyramid Head shows up and starts butchering everyone. I’m going to take back everything bad I’ve said about this strip!

Ha ha, not really. Anyway, here’s another Funky Winkerbean “story” in which speculation far outstripped reality. Imagine, you folks talking about affairs and house-building! You should’ve seen yourselves! Don’t worry, I’m not making sport of you, as I fall into the same trap pretty much every time. Sigh.

A question for those of you more knowledgeable than myself. Adeela seems like a fairly devout Muslim–aren’t there strictures on the company that Muslim women can keep? Isn’t being with a man who is not in her family (and a married man at that) forbidden?

I know that women driving was restricted (until recently) in places like Saudi Arabia, so she’s clearly bucking that trend. So, why continue with the hijab, then? (I know the answer to that one–it’s so Batiuk can claim diversity by using the most superficial traits.)

Credit where it’s due: I like the drawing of Rachel in panel two. That is a genuinely good rendering of Rachel’s expression–someone who is clearly not happy, but is willing to listen.

I Got a Rock

Given the fact that Jeff nearly died during his trip, his reunion with Pam is…sort of lowkey. Very obliging of Pam, though, to feed Jeff his straight line. As promised, here is that neato rock that Batty pictured on his blog. Jeff’s souvenir appears a lot bigger than the one brought back by Batiuk, and this is a good thing, because in unseen Panel 8 Pam will use it to bash in Jeff’s head.