Tag Archives: Belgium

Raisin The Bar…Lowering The Standards

Link to today’s strip

For what seems like the thousandth day in a row I have no idea what the gag here is supposed to be. Are the background anon-o-characters supposed to be characters I’d recognize? “Immaculate metro stations”…huh? There’s no “joke” here, again. And not only that, there’s no “story” either. Color me totally baffled. I even visited the official FW blog just to see if maybe something there would shed a little light on whatever the hell is going on here but (of course) there’s no help there unless you’re looking for way, way too much information on fictional comic book covers. All in all one of the most pointless FW arcs ever and that includes the band box arc AND the Food Film scam.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Global Snooze Farce

Link to today’s strip

For some reason BatNom finds great, great humor in the idea of high school marching band members selling things to raise money for the band. Turkeys, books, chocolate…it doesn’t matter what they’re selling, just that they’re doing it.


“Hi, can I help you?”

“Hello, I’m with the local high school marching band. We’re selling this Belgian chocolate to help raise money for new uniforms.”

(BanTom collapses to floor doubled over in hysterical laughter. Alarmed youngster quickly backs away and flees.)

See, these stupid marching band gags are all rooted in the character Dinkle used to be. Back when he was the megalomaniacal tyrant band director with all sorts of zany ideas, the band fundraising gags were likewise based upon that zaniness. Harry wants to sell band turkeys, Harry pushes the students to sell more and more candy and so forth. As awful as they jokes themselves were, they were at least consistent with the character. It’d make (a little) more sense if the old Dinkle was acting like marching bands represented the height of “culture” and bragging about his “global sales force”, as he was supposed to be delusional and over-the-top.

The problem (apart from the many other ones of course) is that Dinkle isn’t the zany old band director with his eyes always obscured by his stupid hat anymore, now he’s just another squishy old smirking moron who’s really only immediately distinguishable from the other squishy old smirking morons because he’s often standing next to a woman with one arm. The “jokes” are already abysmal but when taken out of their proper context and delivered by the universally-despised new Dinkle they’re just the pointless mutterings of another annoying jerk.

Interesting note: that was the first FW arc in a while that actually contained some sort of factual information, as totally pointless as it was. At long last, I’m finally actually learning something from this strip. I like it and would like to see it become a recurring thing.

“OK Funky, meet me over by the gazebo.”

“You mean the spot where General Cleveland Cincinnati wrested control of Central Ohio away from the hated Swedes back in 1814?”

“Yes, pizza.”


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Uniformly Awful

Link to today’s strip

Speaking of uniform, every single Dinkle strip is exactly the same. Premise, premise, sub-moronic Dinkle punchline delivered with grotesque cackle as background characters look on bemusedly. Yeah Harry, if this Van Houten guy hadn’t discovered how to make chocolate more palatable you wouldn’t have been able to sell chocolate to raise money for (sigh) band uniforms…what an incredible lucky break for you. And if early man hadn’t discovered how to kill, behead and eat large birds you’d have been shit out of luck on Thanksgiving too. Who the f*ck THINKS this way? Does this man EVER think about anything other than marching bands and fundraisers? I guess that’s supposed to be the joke, I think. But it’s not funny enough (at all) to be the joke, unless of course you think band fundraising is inherently funny, which almost no one does. I can’t even begin to imagine what someone unfamiliar with FW would think upon reading this. Fortunately though, that scenario rarely comes up.

Coming this fall: Harry’s scheme to create band uniforms MADE of band candy is thwarted when his clarinet section goes down with a near-fatal peanut allergy. Attempts to design peanut product-free band uniforms prove futile.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Unlike FW And Humor, For Example

Link to today’s strip

What? I have no idea why this is supposed to be funny. Totally irrelevant punch line, no wordplay, just a strange inexplicable statement that, based on the reactions of the characters, is apparently supposed to be a joke of some sort. “Candy and culture go hand in hand”…I suppose his daffy marching band antics might pass for “culture” in Westview but even that’s a real stretch. And it still doesn’t make this a real joke either.

That third panel is definitely one of the more bizarre FW panels of the year so far from an artistic perspective. Harriet and Prince Chocula manage to muster polite smiles as a clearly deranged and out-of-touch Dinkle makes an ass of himself within seconds with his bizarre babbling. He looks completely insane there, it’s the drooping eyelids that really send it over the top IMO.

Culture. Candy. Hands…nope. I still don’t see how this is a joke. Apparently the mere concept of band candy sends BanTom into hysterics, but that’s a discussion best saved for another day.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky