Tag: Bull

Bowling For Imbeciles

Link To Today’s Masterpiece

So they went out and bought bowling shirts, THEN discovered that one of their teammates can’t bowl at all? Brilliant. With BanTom’s vast archives of gags like this one, no wonder has needs two daily strips, as one just ain’t enough. I’m assuming that those “Crankshaft” characters have names but please, don’t share them, OK? I think I’m happier not knowing.

Seriously though, what a shitty gag. Why even bother with doing a crossover if you’re not going to put anything into it? Like with that Dick Tracy arc earlier this year, it was so listless and so lifeless you could only wonder why he did it in the first place. I mean it couldn’t possibly be any easier for him, you have Crankshaft show up on Monday, act like a real dick on Tuesday, then repeat it four more times. Apparently you’re supposed to be reading CS this week as a sort of FW “companion piece” that helps the “jokes” make more sense but frankly that seems like way too much trouble IMO. And there still isn’t any payoff even if you do, but you already knew that.

But if you’re a glutton for punishment…here ya go.

Numb-er Of The Beast

Link To Today’s Action

Ah-HA! So it IS Rachel after all. He really could have made that a tad more clear IMO. See, I thought Rachel was a lot younger and…ahhhh, forget it, I’m not getting into yet another timeline dissection, as it’s so fouled up at this point that it doesn’t really matter anymore. Special thanks to billytheskink for clarifying the Rachel Act II timeline yesterday, never an easy task where FW is concerned. If this is a pre-time jump flashback it means that Rachel has been working at Montoni’s for a minimum of seventeen years, which is both sad and hilarious.

Apparently the “jokes” here are a) Ed’s standard malapropisms and b) Rachel doesn’t know how to bowl. Hee-f*cking-larious. Please, someone sedate me before I break a rib by laughing too hard. Or, in lieu of that, I’ll just read this strip again a few times. Crankshaft never fails to not amuse me and today he keeps his perfect record intact. The device has not yet been invented that can adequately measure how little I care about Ed Crankshaft and his merry band of infinitely patient dimwits. And if these are the kinds of punchlines I’m missing by ignoring CS, I’m even happier that I pretend it doesn’t exist. You can do it too, BTW…it’s easy.

TFH sez: To help you keep up with the crossover…here’s a link to today’s Crankshaft.

The Finals Countdown

Link To Today’s Strip

Now I’m officially (even more) confused. I thought Wally and Rachel were in that group Santa-hat photo yesterday but apparently I was mistaken, as it appears that I was actually seeing a younger Funky and Holly…I guess. Maybe it’d be easier to tell who these characters are supposed to be if he’d bother to differentiate between them somehow, like by giving them different noses or something. And now Bull…who looks exactly the same as he does now, BTW…is involved too. And HE always make things funnier…right? RIGHT? Sigh.

And that school bus parked outside can only mean one thing…it’s Crankshaft Crossover time again. Sigh. You can kind of see him there in panel two, along with anon-o-characters who are probably “Crankshaft” regulars although I wouldn’t know as I never read that strip. And I’m certainly not going to start now, either. In fact I usually totally forget Crankshaft even exists until he does these crossovers. And I prefer it that way, as “Crankshaft” blows. Sigh.

(And speaking of FW-related comic strips no one reads…get your fill right here!)

Running Aground

Link To Today’s Strip

Only TomBan could do a football team arc that features a bunch of anon-o-characters talking in a boring conference room.  So what the “committee” is saying here is that bullying is OK if the bully has been heavily bullied in the past? Well OK then. Perhaps next week we’ll see Les Moore stealing candy from babies and punching puppies. It’s all about the context, you see? Another “very serious” issue tackled…time for pizza and comic books!!

You Lose Some, You Lose Some

Link To Today’s Strip

Good LORD what the HELL is going on with Coach Hunter’s schnozz? It’s like his face grew a handle or something. He could be “Crankshaft’s” stunt double. Otherwise, yawn. I guess this beats another year of having Bull standing around the practice field cracking wry with Les about how much the Scapegoats suck, but still, this is as tedious as it gets. In the last few weeks he’s done two “bullying” arcs. In the first one, no one actually gets bullied at all and in this one the bullying victims don’t even mind. Real cutting edge stuff there, Tom. During his next puff interview in the Akron Sunday paper he’ll be crowing about “addressing” the “issue” of “bullying” and oh, how we’ll laugh and laugh. Somehow he’s managed to do a “bullying” arc that features no bullying at all AND a football team arc that features no football and gags about how much WHS sucks even though they don’t anymore. Kind of remarkable, really.