Tag: Bull

What the Heck Do We Care?

Now you know how many ‘holes it takes to fill Montoni’s Pizzeria.

TheDiva
July 10, 2013 at 11:50 pm
Okay, folks, place your bets:
Halle is drawn in the background of a Sunday spread in a listless nod to continuity: 6/1

Does Halle Dinkle’s presence here qualify as a “crossover” if nobody knows about her comic strip? She’s the one helpfully holding up a placard-sized “Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad” card. There’s another unfamiliar face in the crowd, above Dinkle’s head, whose identity will be revealed Friday (as an afterthought; TB’s just giving a shout-out to one of his music friends). Rachel’s been made to don the dreaded red apron but Wally (and his wonder dog Buddy) have been permitted to mingle with the invited guests. I would give Dead Skunk Head John a hard time for showing up in a t-shirt, but hey: we’re in a pizza parlor.

Get ready for another guest blogger: starting Monday, it’s the snark stylings of Beckoning Chasm!

Deny, Deny, Deny

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

Matthew 26:34

“I’ve just alerted all of our friends…” Hey Westview, you’ve got mail! Frankie and his “reality TV crew” (Lenny with a camcorder) are coming to get some dirt on St. Lisa. Not so as to waste any time, the “crew” does away with advance calls and pre-interviews and just shows up on the doorstep rolling film. Rather than flat-out telling Frankie to GTFO, they’ve been instructed by wise Les just to play dumb; i.e., to lie. Funky follows these instructions to the hilt, practically channeling his senile father. Bull, as always, is able to get by with physical intimidation: “Never heard of her.” SLAM! And Crazy Harry’s just dim; doesn’t realize that Lisa Crawford is that Lisa.

I Call "Bull" Shit


That was nice what you just did, Bull“?!? What English teach– uh, sorry, Language Arts teacher, let alone a pretentious douchebag like Les, would utter such a colloquialism? And the “nice thing” he did? Catching a trio of repeat-offender school bullies in the act and letting them walk away without even a verbal warning.

TheDiva
April 4, 2013 at 1:47 pm
A few days ago, I wondered if it would be worse for Batiuk to treat bullying in an inappropriately (and unfunny) humorous manner or a insufferable serious manner. Now I know an even worse third option exists: total schizophrenia.

…and TB’s schizo tendencies extend to his continuing retconning/re-retconning of Les and Bull’s high school relationship: two years ago he went to great lengths to posit that Bull was just pretending to beat Les up in order to protect him from the real bullies. But for the purposes of the current storyline, it turns out that Bull really did pick on Les, and now must spend the rest of his life atoning.

Thirty years ago…not only was the bullying real, it was actually pretty funny!

Basket Boink

A couple questions: we know that Bull coaches the girls’ basketball team, and is Westview’s athletic director. But what class is he teaching here? Have we ever seen him in front of a classroom? Maybe he’s been pressed into service to cover for one of the teachers who’ve been let go? And why is he holding a putter?