Tag: Cory

Corporal Cory’s Conundrum

Link to today’s strip

One has to wonder why Holly went to the trouble of shipping that comic book to Cory in Afghanistan if he was only going to come home and stash it a few weeks later anyway. One also wonders how someone “writing” a story like this would manage to overlook that rather glaring lapse of logic…unless you’re a regular FW reader, that is. Because if you are, you not only understand completely, but you wouldn’t settle for anything less. Or more, as the case may be.

“Holly purchases SJ comics for Cory” is the only moving part in this glacially paced little tale, so it was very helpful of The Corporal to once again explain via some clunky expository dialog that he is still a SJ collector who’s missing a few key issues, as that fact might have gotten lost amidst all that holiday excitement. Such a fine young man and so fortunate to have a mom who took a sincere interest in his hobbies as soon as he was 12,000 miles away. And with a gal like Rocky behind him there’s just no telling how high Cory could fly…teacher, pizza shop owner, comic book store guy…such a limitless future.

Just Ignore Tom, He Can’t Help Himself

Link to today’s strip

What a perfect way to ring in a new year of FW: a bunch of completely pointless idiotic babbling that makes less sense every time you read it. I’m assuming that this is supposed to be yet another riff on “the parents just don’t understand”, I guess. Or maybe the fumes from all those felt tips gave The Author the (mistaken) impression that this a) makes sense and b) features humor (that Rocky drawing in panel two nonwithstanding). That studio clearly needs better ventilation, because this is the nonsensical jabbering of a madman. A really boring madman. I honestly have no idea what’s going on here and I’ve already wasted precious seconds of 2014 trying to figure it out. So on to the “huh?” pile it goes, perhaps future generations will be able to decipher it with better technology or something.

Old Lame Syne

Link to today’s strip

I guess Les isn’t hosting his New Year’s party this year and all I can say about that is thank f*cking God. Anyone who lived through THAT trauma knows exactly what I mean. Anyhow, Cory and his lady friend Rocky obviously decided to take the lamest possible approach to their NYE planning, opting to sit on mom and dad’s sofa while the geriatric Funk-Man staggers off to bed at quarter to twelve, fully living up to his “my life is already over” philosophy.

The punch line here left me a little baffled…”they know, they know”. What, that they can tell time? Or that they’re unbelievably lame? While I never really “liked” Cory, he sure was more enjoyable when he was a surly disagreeable punk instead of boring Corporal Winkerbean.

Hope everyone has a happy New Year, looking forward to another fun-filled year of prestige arcs and filler (mostly filler)! Enjoy!

Ewww Leers Eve

Link to today’s strip

“Charming”?? More like the quintessential creepy pervy uncle, leering at girls less than (ha) half his age (although in his defense, EVERYONE appears younger than Funky) with a disgusting smirk on his face. Then again, by Westviewian standards that could indeed pass for “charm”, so who am I to say?

I’m kind of confused as I though Cory was leaving as recently as yesterday. Sometimes those Sunday strips happen in an alternate Funkyverse (gak) where things are not always as they seem. Or TB did all the weekday strips at once then did all the Sunday ones and just plain screwed up the continuity (again). Either or.

Shipping Out

Where are they going? Corporal (!) Cory and Holly are dressed up to go somewhere. To the airport? Cory’s going back already? And we’ve never seen him interact with Wally, his uncle/cousin and fellow soldier. “We have to wait for your father.” “Dad?” No, the milkman, you idiot.

TFH here; time for me to take a little respite from all things FW. Epicus Doomus begins a guest stint starting tomorrow. Happy New Year everybody!