If Smiles Could Kill

You know, if somehow you’d made it this far reading this strip and still expected some level of quality and for it to make sense, today’s strip would confuse you. Like, Mason is a star because of comics. Harry helped him prepare for the biggest role of his career. Interacting with his fans would be good for his image. But sure, let’s have Mason be the sole person in this strip who isn’t obsessed with comics, all for the sake of hilarity. Wait, something’s missing . . .

More Lips in This Strip Should Be Sealed

I’m a little more shocked that Crazy apparently has all of Butter Brinkel’s films on CD/DVD stacked up in what look to be jewel cases. And he’s just handing these rare treasures to Cindy stacked haphazardly, and not in a box or anything.
It’s pretty hilarious to me that Cindy is swearing Crazy to silence. I mean, why? You would think she’d want to build hype and buzz around her documentary. Is she afraid someone else is going to steal her idea? (Ha.) Or is she afraid this is going to damage her reputation? (Again, ha.)
By far the best/dumbest part of this strip, and the storyline as a whole- these “films” were apparently burned onto a CD or DVD. Meaning somehow Crazy either made digital files of them from the original film, or maybe a VHS release himself, which seems unlikely, or downloaded them off the internet somewhere. Meaning there’s literally no reason he couldn’t just have sent the files to Cindy directly, or barring that, made copies of the discs and mailed the discs to Cindy. I thought for sure it would turn out he somehow had the original theatrical reels of the movies, that would understandably be fragile, which would explain why Cindy had to spend thousands of dollars to fly cross-country. But yet again, I was giving Batiuk too much credit.

Something Definitely Needs to Be Dialed Down

Well, I never! Cindy called Harry! Someone better stop all this hilariousness, before it’s too late.
So many of the story lines in this strip lately have started this way. Somebody needs to go back to Westview because somebody there has something old timey that apparently nobody else in the world has and can’t be shipped or sent digitally. And even though apparently it’s so rare and forgotten that it only exists in Westview, somehow people will end up being wildly passionate about whatever old crap it is.
Here’s Batiuk’s writing process now:
“Gosh, I sure like old comics/movie serials/decoder rings/silent movies. If only I didn’t have to write this stupid strip, I could spend all my time reading back issues of Old Timey Junk Quarterly. I know! I could do a four month arc where someone in Westview has silent movies, and somebody else wants to see them, for some reason!” (runs the bases in his mind)
Also, am I crazy, or should it not be Cindy Jarre now? I don’t know if this is just Batiuk not giving a crap about his strip or “She was Cindy Summers in high school and that’s the only period of her live that matters”, but either way it’s dumb.

Sisyphunkian Task

Link To Today’s Real Strip

In case you missed it, yesterday’s actual strip featured Crazy, Holly, a Flash T shirt and a really dumb menopause gag. The fake one was way better, quite frankly. Anyhow, Funky is down in Florida, supervising Melinda’s looming move back to the mid-central Ohio valley and all heck is apparently breaking loose, as Funky is already completely overwhelmed by having to put some Hummel figurines and Franklin Mint collector plates in a box. Can’t these idiots EVER just do something without bellyaching about it for six days at a time?

I’m not sure which is funnier, Holly’s brutally fractured syntax or Melinda’s vintage 1925 parlor. Sometimes I just don’t understand Batiuk’s world at all, man. On top of that, Melinda is Holly’s mother, so why isn’t SHE down there doing this? I’m sure Wally and Adeela can hold down the fort, provided there aren’t any air raid drills scheduled this week.

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

Link To Today’s Installment

The CTE is really starting to kick in now and Bull appears to be losing the few marbles he had left, although it’s admittedly really tough to tell unless you’ve been following this crap for a while. Obviously Crazy would have no use at all for an old football video unless it was made from pizza or comic books (was it???), which seems unlikely even in the Funkyverse. Seriously though, this is the darkest CTE strip since the very beginning, back when Bull was dropping things and driving recklessly. It’s amusing to me how even this dramatic moment in the story centers around something so incredibly mundane and stupid. It’s likewise kind of amusing how Bull immediately remembers that Crazy converted his old VHS tapes into DVDs, a fact it took me a few seconds to remember and I don’t even have CTE, as far as I know, that is.