Where Dreams Go to Be Smashed to Flinders

Link to today’s strip.

One thing I neglected to mention about yesterday’s episode…and I have to confess, I didn’t mention it because it seemed so ordinary that comment never occurred to me.  But later I realized that it was ordinary in the real world, and not in Funky Winkerbean.   In Funky Winkerbean, it was the proverbial sore thumb, and it shoulda stuck out like one.

Of course, I’m talking about the fact that Becky got a smart-phone app, and she was happy with it.  She was pleased with what she got, and looked forward to using it.

It was not, repeat not, something substandard that had foisted upon her by an uncaring school administration.  She didn’t even moan once!

By way of contrast, look upon the Dozing Dullards out in Hollywood, who upon hearing that the movie they are working might be certain of box-office success, can do nothing but bemoan the extra work that will befall them.  Oh, the horrors of success!  Oh My GOD I have to work even more?

Well, Pete–and you too, Darrin–there’s a very simple solution that will cause all your problems to disappear, and you can leap about in unending joy.

Quit.  Go on up to Clay Breakdance (or whatever his name is) and tell him you’re tired of all the effort that is expected of you, and that you (so far) seem to have failed to provide.  You’re both tired of working, and it’s really cutting into your nap time, and your nostalgic day-dreaming about Bantom comics.  I’m sure his lips will curl just a bit as he accepts your resignations.    Clay will be happy to bring in a crew who actually want to work, and don’t look upon every suggestion as a knife in the back.

And there’s a bonus for both of you!  When the movie is released some months hence, and proves to be a box-office smash, you can bemoan the fact that you were cheated out of all that money.  And that, no doubt, will trigger even more flashbacks.

Win-win, I say.  Now, now, I know those are dirty words in the Funkyverse, but as they say–faint heart never won bitter regrets.

(It kind of makes me wonder what sort of movie Pete and Darin would make if they had complete control–what sort of cinematic turd would satisfy their notion of purity.  I should note that it doesn’t make me wonder enough to actually see that movie, or hear them talk about it.)

PS:  No idea who the very detailed gentleman is, but he sure seems to be someone from Real Life.  Perhaps someone who lost a bet–that’s my guess, anyway.

Not Going Anywhere

Link To Today’s Strip

Flog, flog, flog. Mason is reading the SJ script today, which indicates that there is a script to be read…I guess. Otherwise it’s a pointless rehash of a premise that was (for lack of a better word) resolved yesterday. When you think about it just running this Sunday strip instead of devoting an entire week to the premise might have been a better idea. But then he would have only had fifty-one weeks worth of strips, which would have left him one short. Sure, he could have probably just thrown an old one from a few years ago in there and no one would have noticed, but it’s all about the integrity, man.

And with that I turn over the reins to billytheskink, who’s going to steer you through next’s weeks installment of annoying claptrap! And based on the header pic above, I have no idea what that claptrap might be. I don’t like the looks of it though.

The Winters Of Cindy’s Discontent

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh-oh. Cindy’s always-troublesome insecurity issues are about to come racing to the fore again, as her beau Mason will be co-starring with the “cute” Marianne Winters, as opposed to whatever old tired hag was originally scheduled to play the part in the film that never, ever will be completed. Knowing how incredibly shallow she is, this will no doubt become a huge issue for her and she’ll probably have to scurry back to Montoni’s to ask Funky for advice on how to handle it. Remember, Cindy, it’s been snowing there since Thanksgiving so allow yourself a little additional travel time.

Bi-“polar”. Winters. Summers. Oh boy, Batiuk must be salivating over the pun opportunities here. By the time this plays out he’ll have completely botched every one of them, probably more than once too. We all knew this Cindy & Mason thing was too good to be true, allowing Cindy to experience happiness before she suffered her full karmic retribution is the sort of thing you just don’t see in the Funkyverse. Warm her up a chair at Channel One or the WHS AV room, as her Hollywood dreams are about to be pulverized, BanTom style.