Tag: Mason Jarr

Butterfl-hio Effect

Today’s strip is a sobering reminder of just how tantalizingly close we came to completely avoiding the foul, intrusive neighbor that is the Starbuck Jones movie. If only Mason had never come to Ohio, none of this would have happened.

– Mason only came to Ohio, of course, because he met Les on the set of Lust For Lisa.
– Tempting as it is to pin this all on Les, he was only able to lure Mason to Ohio with Holly’s collection of “Starbuck Jones” comics.
– Holly’s “Starbuck Jones” collection only existed because Cory started it.
– Cory only started the collection because… well, Tom only knows that. Maybe something to do with his stepfather reading it when he was a kid…
– And Ohio is only a state because the British ceded it to the United States in the Treaty of Paris, which was only possible because the French ceded the Ohio Valley to the British after losing the French and Indian War.

“Fan” theory time:
Funky is still in a coma from that 2010 car wreck and everything that has happened since then has been a dream. It was immediately before the wreck when Starbuck Jones was first mentioned (Funky had to sell SJ issue #1 to cover Komix Korner’s overdue rent), everything else involving Starbuck Jones has occurred after the wreck. Also, think of all of the other outlandish things in this strip that have happened since that wreck, things that would have been unlikely before: the successful publication of Lisa’s Story and its national book tour and “Hollywood” chapters, Cayla’s appearance changes, Les’ love life, Cory becoming a soldier and a well-adjusted individual, Cindy comes crawling back to Ohio, Wally snags Rache and Buddy, Dick Tracy…

This theory is, of course, disgustingly unoriginal and incredibly stupid. But is it really worse than the alternative?

Valium-tine

While Jeff Murdoch apparently violates Twitter’s character limit in today’s strip, Director Martin Johns violates general decorum by thinking Jeff’s tweet is worth reading out loud to these Hollywood types lounging about in wicker chairs.

Prescient SOSFer erdmann hypothesized yesterday that this would lead to the premiere of Starbuck Jones at “that damn Crankshaft theater”. Today’s strip all but confirms that, and I can tell you that the next several strips will not dispel the idea. If you consider this to be a spoiler then you haven’t read Funky Winkerbean for very long.

In other news, Cindy has lost her right foot. Oh, and Jeff Murdoch is apparently both old enough to have seen and remember original-run Starbuck Jones movie serials (before Cliff was blacklisted sometime in the early 1950s) and young enough to have also been attending Kent State in 1970 (on a John Sebastian impersonator scholarship, apparently). To be fair, there is a window of time in which that works, but it is narrower than Crankshaft’s mind.

Martin Mulls It Over

Greetings, SOSFers! It’s billytheskink here – your favorite lizard-named, Martin Mull-referencing, pointless trivia-posting, guest author.

I was wishing (and hoping, and thinking, and praying) that yesterday’s strip was the coda to this Comic-Con arc. It certainly looked like it could be. Unfortunately, it was a tease, and today’s strip takes us right back to yesterday’s ocean-side confab to discuss… the Starbuck Jones movie premiere. Goody, another week of this. That’s four straight weeks now.

A relative of mine had a baby back in June. That baby will be 8 weeks old at the end of this week. FW strips involving Starbuck Jones will have appeared during 65% of her life. This makes me incredibly sad.

Fruit of the Doom

Link to today’s strip.

I rate today’s episode two “Meh”s.   It’s a good example of “Batiuking it.”  It’s not terrible enough to be irksome, nor is it insensitive enough to provoke anger.  It’s like something the dog left on the kitchen floor–he didn’t really mean to do it, it just happened by accidental instinct.  Though at least the dog has enough self-awareness to look guilty about what he produced.  Luckily, I have some paper towels.

Nice freeze-frame on that “Starbuck Jones” image.  I assume someone hit the “pause” button, so that Mason and Cindy could chatter on brainlessly, but it’s entirely possible the scene is still running and consists of characters just chattering.  That seems entirely Batiukian.

I wonder if that’s a workprint of the new film, or just Cliff and Vera again?  I find I don’t really care about the answer.  But, isn’t it funny that the characters here went out of their way to find the cast of the Starbuck Jones serial, but anyone who worked on the original comic book has been completely ignored.  Who knows, they might still be alive, too!  But then, artists and writers might want to do something creative (“This is not my vision!”); actors, on the other hand will just read the lines given to them.  Whew!  Dodged a bullet there.

As far as today’s “content” goes, let’s not forget that Cindy’s “going out on a limb” was not, repeat not, because she had great faith in BuddyBlog or because she believed in her own abilities to deliver stories.  It was so she could seize Mason in her mandibles.  That’s all.  Mason’s either fine with that, unaware of it, or worse, pleased with how his personal magnetism snared his new paramour.

So, we’re not talking about someone striving for excellence in a new frontier.  We’re talking about someone indulging her urges to keep her insecurities at bay.

Still, she did manage to find a nice piece of fruit.

Second Rate

Link to today’s strip.

Ho hum.  Look at the expression on Mason’s face in panel one.  Boy, those are some real sincere congratulations.  He’s probably thinking, “Fine, can we talk about me now?  Like, how awesome I am and stuff.”

And what is that thing under Cindy’s hand?  Part of her bracelet, or a car key?  Are they planning a dine ‘n’ dash?  Because that would be exciting…but I think I might be able to handle that!  Please go ahead and do it!

Unless you’re a long-time reader of this strip–and I hate to tell you this, Mr. Batiuk, but we’re it–you’ll have no idea who “Vera” is.  Last time she was seen in the strip was some months ago, and I wonder if she was even referred to by name then.  Cliff Anger was mentioned once earlier in the week, but given his idiotic name, one might have thought Cindy’s documentary was on the “[psychological condition known as] Cliff Anger [in which people who read a certain comic strip throw themselves off high mountains].”

It would have been funnier.

(Corrected for spelling…hey if Tom Batiuk can do it, so can I)