Tag: Montoni's

Now the First of December Was Covered with Snow

Many, many thanks to David O for handling author duties over the last fortnight!

Epicus Doomus
November 28, 2013 at 11:11 pm
…I like how Summer just decided to keep wearing the hoodie straight through the year until it was weather-appropriate again. I assume she has an entire closet full of them and not just one…at least I hope she does.

Reckon she’s not only got a closet full of KSU hoodies, but she’s got ’em in blue and gold! Weather-appropriate? Guess so, since it’s all Summer needs to protect her against snowflakes the size of Montoni’s meatballs.

You’d think, though, that a young woman who could shell out $54 for a sweatshirt would spend a little more on a baby gift for her nephew. Instead, Auntie Summer comes bearing “Small Bear”, a cherished toy from her own kid-hood. “Here, “bro”: give this moldy, raggedy old thing to your newborn to play with!”

And Mr. Batiuk, please do a little research into what an infant carrier looks like: that little cameo in panel one looks like nothing so much as a baby reposing in a propped-up coffin!

Back at Montoni’s Already!?

Welcome to the world, kid! The whole damn thing smells like garlic and stale bread. Poor Skyler. It’s almost unavoidable from the looks of today’s strip that he’s going to be a 20 year old dishwasher at Montoni’s, destined to have his wife deliver her baby there, too, shortly after they have their wedding there.

Does anyplace exist in Westview at all any more?! Why is this strip not called “Montoni’s and Moore” ?!

Paging Deathmask

Did you hear that? No, I’m not talking about the clumsily put “Darrin’s mother Lisa.” line, I’m talking about the whisper of Death, blowing across Westview, summoned by none other than Pa Pizza himself!

Deathy McKillerson may have to brush off his best tux from the look of things in Today’s strip, but it’s hard to tell if the last panel is supposed to be foreshadowing to a massive pepperoni-induced heart attack or just a joke that fell flat.

Mama Mia, Pizzeria!

Tuesday! Where we rush into a plot-line that we’ve literally already seen before. I’m not just just referring to when Darrin was born but in the 600 times his delivery was mentioned in the strip since. I mean, no wonder Darrin is having Deja-Vu about it, how many times has he had to sit through the story of his rush to the hosptial?

Odds that Fred is going to pop out of his medical drama to “help with the delivery” are looking pretty darned high from the looks of today’s strip.

She’s Having a Tired Plot Device

‘Ello! 4th-trumpet and Westview Waterboy DavidO is checking in, giving much-needed relief to Beckoning Chasm after BC’s two week run of excellent Funky snarking.

On to the funnies!

Hoo-boy. Put on your Members Only Jacket and throw on your Michael Jackson album because we’re about to retread over one of the tiredest troupes in situation comedy, the “Oh God, I’m having a baby, let’s duck into the nearest malfunctioning elevator that has a Rabbi, a mime and a 300lb guy who easily faints in it.” routine that was required in every sitcom, by congressional mandate, from 1983-1994.

Today’s strip throws logic out the window in favor of comedy, though I still don’t see how a panicked trip to the hospital where you gnaw your fingertips raw with anxiety constitutes comedy.

This sort of strip is great at illustrating why cell phones are the bane of screenwriters everywhere. In the age of instant connection, Jess could have just texted Durwood to come pick her up; she’s really feeling it and it’s almost time. The suitcase would already be in the car in that scenario; no need for a pregnant woman to go hauling it around.

I can’t peek ahead, so there’s no way of knowing if this arc is going to go on for weeks or if the Sainted Grandbaby will be enrolled in Westview High this time next month. Either way, prepare for every single worn out fumbling-dad-goes-to-the-hospital schtick ever seen in the last three centuries.