Congratulations to Harry and Harriet Dinkle on their fiftieth wedding anniversary! Say, Harry: between your teacher’s pension, the proceeds from your multi-volume autobiography, and the royalties from your compositions, I bet you’re planning a really special surprise for the Mrs. Maybe a cruise, or a trip to Europe, or a…a party at Montoni’s. Yes, Harriet will be surprised, all right: surprised at what a cheap bastard she’s been married to for fifty years.
Tag: Montoni's
Runnin’ With The Drivel
I was going to say that Funky’s blistered, fat and diseased bare feet (ugh) probably wouldn’t do wonders for Montoni’s business, but then I realized there’s nothing much to worry about there. Les is especially punchable there in panel two, if he has a facial expression that ISN’T obnoxious I’d like to see it. Then again, maybe not. Thank God this ponderous little slog is finally, mercifully over because I’ve had all I can take of these two sweaty assholes and their nonsensical babbling. Like I always say, any Les is way, way too much.
Killer Of Joy
Nope, it’s not TFH, not yet. Your old buddy Epicus is back for another week of snark and Batiukian torture! Our reward for riding out the ponderous and highly annoying Frankie Mega Arc? You guessed it: brutal, anachronistic Les Moore wordplay! I miss Frankie already. An entire week of these two nitwits jogging around exchanging awful jokes and terrible puns might just shove me right over the edge. Come back, TFH, all is forgiven!
“Killjoy was here”? Took me a few seconds but I eventually realized he was referencing “Kilroy was here”, which, in case you’re unaware, was a pre-internet “meme” from the WWII era. Which means that the target audience for that gag lies comfortably within the “over 75” age bracket. Sigh. Too bad Funky didn’t drink the beer, it might have made this interesting. But then again, probably not.
Threat Level Lisa
YouTube (registered trademark, BTW) better upgrade their servers, pronto, before Boy Lisa follows through on his “threat” and crashes them with the tens of hits that video would certainly generate. Some arch-villian Frankie turned out to be. Ditto for his doughy henchman White Lenny, who is a real wuss compared to Black Lenny, who at least knew how to lean menacingly. Derin would have probably gotten the same results by simply throwing “Lisa’s secret journal” at them. Those corners do hurt, you know.
OK, so who had “they make a video of Summer reading random pages from her dead mother’s thirty-something year old journal that just happened to be discovered exactly when it fit into the story which forces Frankie and Lenny to give up when they threaten to air it on YouTube” in the “how does this arc end?” pool? Once again TheMaster finds the least-interesting, most random, nonsensical and totally balls-out stupid way of “crafting” a story that took what seems like a hundred weeks to tell. No one can predict what he’ll do and quite frankly I don’t think he even knows until he pens it. This whole story reads like he jotted it all down on a napkin while heading to the bathroom at 5am after a big craft beer, Seroquel and Nyquil bender. Like every other FW story does. It’s amazing, uncanny and totally inexplicable.
Prayer For The Sneering
I’m admittedly as beady-eyed and nit-picky as anyone here at SoSF, so maybe my opinion is somewhat skewed. That said, Lisa’s silly little “prayer” comes across as being rather selfish and short-sighted to me. After all, how did she know back then what would become of Frankie? Perhaps he would have changed his ways and become, oh I don’t know, an ordained minister or a first responder hero or a devoted family man or whatever. Typical Lisa…me me me, always self-absorbed in that annoyingly cloying way she had (and still has despite being dead). In any event, as Nelson Muntz might say, “Haw haw! Your prayer went unanswered!”.
So what did Frankie do, exactly, to merit this non-stop sneering and eyebrow-cocking? His attempt to “cash in” on one of Lisa’s many tragedies? Les did it a few times. Cayla was practically boinging off the walls when the movie check arrived. Summer even went as far as to suggest a 3-D version of “Lisa’s Story”. What makes that any different? I get the feeling that any “outsiders” who dare to enter Westview get chased to the city limits by a group of pitchfork-toting sneering fat guys wearing pizza shop smocks in an old-fashioned car as “Dueling Banjos” plays in the background. What a bunch of hostile pricks.
But forget all that nonsense, as none of it matters anyway. The big news today is that Montoni’s appears to be selling T-shirts! I simply MUST have one, although because I’m not a XXXXL I doubt they’d be carrying my size. If Batom doesn’t start hawking these on his site he’s both lazy and stupid, because he’s sitting on a gold mine with those.
Son of Stuck Funky 
