Ah, yes: Montoni’s famous solid gold jukebox. Batiuk’s fond of saying that Montoni’s Pizzeria is a replication of Luigi’s Restaurant in Akron, OH, “right down to the nails in the floor.” But an image found on Flickr shows a rather more mundane ‘box in that real-world establishment. I guess Tom felt that a classic round-top Wurlitzer would add some charm. Sadly though, whoever colors these strips either has never seen a Wurlitzer, or is too lazy or incompetent to color it in any shade but sickly yellow.
Tag: Montoni's
Anni-worse-ary
Congratulations to Harry and Harriet Dinkle on their fiftieth wedding anniversary! Say, Harry: between your teacher’s pension, the proceeds from your multi-volume autobiography, and the royalties from your compositions, I bet you’re planning a really special surprise for the Mrs. Maybe a cruise, or a trip to Europe, or a…a party at Montoni’s. Yes, Harriet will be surprised, all right: surprised at what a cheap bastard she’s been married to for fifty years.
Runnin’ With The Drivel
I was going to say that Funky’s blistered, fat and diseased bare feet (ugh) probably wouldn’t do wonders for Montoni’s business, but then I realized there’s nothing much to worry about there. Les is especially punchable there in panel two, if he has a facial expression that ISN’T obnoxious I’d like to see it. Then again, maybe not. Thank God this ponderous little slog is finally, mercifully over because I’ve had all I can take of these two sweaty assholes and their nonsensical babbling. Like I always say, any Les is way, way too much.
Killer Of Joy
Nope, it’s not TFH, not yet. Your old buddy Epicus is back for another week of snark and Batiukian torture! Our reward for riding out the ponderous and highly annoying Frankie Mega Arc? You guessed it: brutal, anachronistic Les Moore wordplay! I miss Frankie already. An entire week of these two nitwits jogging around exchanging awful jokes and terrible puns might just shove me right over the edge. Come back, TFH, all is forgiven!
“Killjoy was here”? Took me a few seconds but I eventually realized he was referencing “Kilroy was here”, which, in case you’re unaware, was a pre-internet “meme” from the WWII era. Which means that the target audience for that gag lies comfortably within the “over 75” age bracket. Sigh. Too bad Funky didn’t drink the beer, it might have made this interesting. But then again, probably not.
Threat Level Lisa
YouTube (registered trademark, BTW) better upgrade their servers, pronto, before Boy Lisa follows through on his “threat” and crashes them with the tens of hits that video would certainly generate. Some arch-villian Frankie turned out to be. Ditto for his doughy henchman White Lenny, who is a real wuss compared to Black Lenny, who at least knew how to lean menacingly. Derin would have probably gotten the same results by simply throwing “Lisa’s secret journal” at them. Those corners do hurt, you know.
OK, so who had “they make a video of Summer reading random pages from her dead mother’s thirty-something year old journal that just happened to be discovered exactly when it fit into the story which forces Frankie and Lenny to give up when they threaten to air it on YouTube” in the “how does this arc end?” pool? Once again TheMaster finds the least-interesting, most random, nonsensical and totally balls-out stupid way of “crafting” a story that took what seems like a hundred weeks to tell. No one can predict what he’ll do and quite frankly I don’t think he even knows until he pens it. This whole story reads like he jotted it all down on a napkin while heading to the bathroom at 5am after a big craft beer, Seroquel and Nyquil bender. Like every other FW story does. It’s amazing, uncanny and totally inexplicable.
Son of Stuck Funky 
