So much of FW’s humor is based on the quest for the Holy Grail, be it a Starbucks Jones comic or the address for some doddering old man. Today’s Strip is more of the same!
Have these schmucks never heard of Amazon?! If the pen is so damn rate how did he get it in the first place? And since when did Darrin turn into such a delicate genius?
Sorry, strip, we already have one quirky writer, we don’t need another.
Gee, I wonder who is updating Montoni’s pizza app during all of this?
Why does Pete get to hang around on set? Oh, yeah: he’s the screenwriter! He must be still working on the screenplay, since as far as we know it hadn’t been finished when they jetted off to Ohio, then New York, then back to Ohio for all the Cliff Anger bullshit. When it comes to settling a discussion, “Let’s ask Pete” is right up (or down) there with “Let’s flip a coin.”
Their Conradian quest to locate Cliff Anger complete, the Starbuck Jones dream team rush back to… Montoni’s? Th’ hell? A month ago they were tasked with scripting and storyboarding a sequel, to be shot concurrently with the feature they were already working on. Did this development lead to the boys working even harder and longer? Nope: Pete proceeded to have another of his Batom flashbacks, which was followed by a road trip to Ohio, not to Cleveland to scout locations for the story’s origin scenes, but to Centerville for a screening of the obscure SJ serial. They followed this with another trip yet further east to locate the serial’s obscure leading man. Anyway, the upside here is that mopey Pete is looking and acting positively chipper!
Oh good heavens…are we all trapped in Hell, where we have to relive things over and over again, until we’re forgiven and allowed to pass into purgatory? Didn’t we just go through all this “back in the day” stuff? In fact–isn’t Pete’s dialogue in panel two an exact repetition of what he said before? (I’d look it up, myself, but I’m starting to feel a distinct aversion to going through old Funky Winkerbean strips. Life being short and all.)
How much padding does Tom Batiuk need to get to that 50th anniversary? Wait–don’t answer that!
Well, since we must, I’m guessing the answer is…a lot.
As for today’s day-old bread, again, I posit thus: that Pete here is merely a clerk-typist, tasked with putting the real screenwriter’s handwritten notes into proper script format. After all, he’s never been to a script meeting, and none of the producers have ever come by to chat about the project, even though he’s in the same building and everything.
I think he was hired because Mason wanted to do Cindy a favor, and CME thought Mason was valuable enough that he could be indulged a bit. But when they got his first draft, things went sour (“What the hell is this about sponges? And clones of sponges? And why does Starbuck Jones have so many soliloquies railing against short-sighted editors?”) and he was quietly moved out of the writer’s chair into something more attuned to his abilities.
As for Darin, I have no idea why he’s even here. Storyboards are typically done when there’s a reasonably final version of the script in place; there’s no point in paying someone to draw out sequences that may never be passed out of committee, let alone see the light of film. (Particularly for a firm that produces cable-TV movies, most of which are cancelled.)
That sort of thing is nowadays called “pre-visualization” and I think it’s beyond Darin’s abilities–after all, you have to imagine something that works, rather than assuming failure right out of the gate, and no one from Westview has that talent.
Hey gang, it’s Epicus again, ready to steer the good ship SoSF through the treacherous waters of Boring Bay. Whenever I see I’m doing a Boy Lisa arc I shudder. Not a Les Moore shudder (shudder), of course, more like an “oh no, not THIS dullard again” sort of thing. He’s truly the Least Interesting Man In The World. And Mopey Pete isn’t exactly a bag of fireworks either, mind you. But when you see Darin you immediately know you’re in for a seriously boring ride, as pretty much every other FW character is like Action Park compared to Lisa’s bio-son. I’m surprised to see him getting this much “screen time”, as usually his infrequent appearances fizzle out after three days or so.
Anyhow, Jessica is in town to (guffaw) break the monotony and give these two idiots a respite from their incessant complaining and all-around dreariness. Good luck with that, Jess. Good thing she didn’t pop in on them while they were expressing any sort of satisfaction or happiness about anything, as it would have no doubt confused and disoriented her (as well as all regular FW readers). I assume she left that kid of theirs back home with the former Mrs. John Darling or maybe with those loveless frauds Ann and Fred, not that it really matters, as that kid is clearly destined for the same scrap heap where Rachel’s son, Wally Jr. and Crazy Harry’s missing brood currently resides.
Son of Stuck Funky 