Tag: running

Aberrations of Aerators.

Link to today’s strip

I said it yesterday, and it was reinforced by our crack cadre of commentators: THOUGHT BUBBLES, TOM. Your characters already act twice as robotic as the Futurama reject threatening to lap your doughy, eponymous, supposed ‘protagonist’. Having them also loudly narrate the world around them is as jarring, messy, and unnecessary as a watermelon speedbump on the autobahn.

I have no idea what that thing in panel one is supposed to be. I know what an aerator is, I’ve seen several up close, and that is like no aerator I recognize. Please, in the comments, let me know if you’ve ever seen anything like this being used for turfgrass management. Because it looks to me like a corkscrew mated with Johnny Five.

Apparently it’s not like any aerator that Google images has ever seen either. Heaven only knows what forensic specialists would make of my search terms from the last several hours.

“Aerator”
“Field Aerator”
“Football Field Aerator”
“Handheld Football Field Aerator”
“Handheld Mechanic Football Field Plug Aerator.”
“Bender Futurama”

I did, however, find a very nice pair of shoes that I’d like someone to wear while kicking Les Moore in the face.

Bam! Pow! Right in the kisser!

Senseless Sisyphean Soliloquy.

Link to today’s strip

Comic Book Harriet here; stretching out her snarking muscles to warm up for this marathon of nonsense.

A long long time ago, when the world was young and Bush was president, I decided to join the Cross Country team. I wouldn’t call what I did on that team ‘running’, because that is an gross insult to the vital skill set that allowed our ancestors to chase down game and flee sabertooth tigers. If we are being extremely generous, we could call my half-hearted efforts ‘jogging’. Just like you could be generous and call the multicolored scribbles of a toddler ‘art’.

As my oxygen deprived brain would send gasping signals to my leaden legs to shuffle forward in a jerky shamble, my entire torso was consumed in the effort of sucking in air and huffing it out like I had swallowed a miniature iron lung.

Sometimes, when one of the more naturally athletic teammates would approach from behind to lap me, (again), they would attempt to engage me in conversation; but a few painfully wheezed one word replies were all I could ever manage.

Never in a million years would I have taken the effort and energy and oxygen to laboriously explain to myself, on an empty track, self-evident and pointless facts OUT LOUD.

Thought bubbles, Tom. They’re a thing.

Today’s Reading is From the Book of Comic

Link to today’s strip.

Sunday’s episode was not available for preview.  Typically, though, Sunday’s offering doesn’t interfere with (for lack of a better term) “continuity” of any of the (for lack of a better term) “stories.”  After all, we’re promised a visit to the !!!FLASH MUSEUM!!! in !!!CENTRAL CITY!!! and what could Sunday possibly offer that could compete with that?

So, we’ll probably get Funky and Les jogging, Bernie and Pals at the Komix Korner, Les talking about how hard writing is (but Lisa is so worth it), or Funky being made miserable by the universe.

Some things we can count on–there will be smirks, terrible word-play, and of the six panels on display, three of them will be unneeded.  And the content will be uninteresting, but in a uniquely disappointing way.

UPDATE:  Les is angry that Funky’s imagination is far more interesting than his own.  I’m wondering if the new artists are contributing to the writing as well; in olden days, Les would be venting his imagination (in a far more boring fashion), and Funky would be the one bringing everything back to earth.  Today, Les is the stodgy, unimaginative one.

This is a nice development.

Runnin’ Down a Dream

Sunday readers are advised to have that second cup of coffee before trying to parse today’s strip. At first it appears to be a continuation of yesterday’s run with Les. But Funky, rather than sweating profusely and moaning, is positively chipper. He shares with Les about his “most amazing dream.” CUT TO: a headline about Funky getting an award for his dream, then a beaming Funky sporting more awards, and then Funky bolting awake from a dream…about having a dream.