Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Disembodied Nerd Voice

I’m less curious about the identity of the unseen mystery nerd in today’s strip than I am about how they intend to “make it” to Comic-Con, which even in the Batiukverse is occurring “@HOME”.

Hey waitjustagoshdarnminute! This webpage is the same thing Pete was looking at on Monday, isn’t it?! Pete wasn’t even contacted directly by the Comic-Con or Eisner Award folks? He learned the news by reading a press release on the Comic-Con website? I don’t know if that is hilarious, sad, or hilariously sad…

(Some of our loyal SOSF commenters actually noted that Pete seemed to learn of Flash and Ruby’s induction via such indirect communication as a webpage earlier this week. It would appear that J.J. O’Malley was the first commenter to mention it, so please come up to receive your “Beady-Eyed Nitpicker” award, J.J.)



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Disembodied Nerd Voice

  1. Spoiler alert: It’s Zanzibar the Murder Chimp. You can tell because there’s no human anatomy presented.

    He’s going to kill the entire AK cast, and then he’s going to kill the entire FW cast. He will resurrect Lisa (using his Satan coins) so Les can watch as she is murdered.

    He just rolls that way.

    • William Thompson

      Since when has human anatomy ever been presented in this strip?

    • billytheskink

      It could also be the ghost of Phil Holt, if we are bandying about ideas that are far too interesting for TB to ever conceive.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Typically when he does this “mystery character” thing the mystery character’s motives are “impure”, let’s say. Let’s hope it’s Frankie, as that’s always fun, sort of.

    Just kidding. It’ll be something unimaginably dumb, like it always is. Trying to predict or guess is futile, as FW has amply proven over the last million years. The only question here is: how long will it take before we find out? I’m guessing a minimum of two weeks, probably longer.

    • erdmann

      I was thinking of Frankie, too. Maybe he’s Flash and Ruby’s long-lost illegitimate son who they put up for adoption and he blames them for all that’s gone wrong in his life. Of course, this means that Dullard is not only the sacred firstborn of the Blessed Dead St. Lisa, he is also the grandson and rightful heir of comic book royalty. The Chosen One! The Anointed One Whose Coming Was Foretold! For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!

    • Charles

      It can’t be Frankie. His desk and the surrounding work area are not plunged in squalor to show us that he’s just no good.

      It’s going to be unimaginably dumb, or it’ll be someone we’ve never met before who nonetheless casts a huge shadow over comic books despite no one ever recognizing them as such. Either way, said person will be working at Atomik Komix as a stand-around-and-reminisce employee within 2 months.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Or, for true Funkyverse flavor, we could just never find out. Another dropped plotline, another hook cut off, left to drift in the timestream.

  3. William Thompson

    I’m guessing the mystery nerd is Turtle Thompson, who was such a thorn in Flash Freeman’s side.

    • Epicus Doomus

      If I had to wager I’d go with that scenario. He’ll confront Flash and after some wry banter Turtle will join the AK staff where they’ll reprise their “greatest work”. Seems sort of obvious now, doesn’t it?

      • William Thompson

        Painfully obvious. And I think the props in the scene–the pencils, pen and Sharpie-I-guess in the box–look like the tools of a “real” comic book artist. None of that sissified computer-art stuff here!

  4. Banana Jr. 6000

    And Comic-Con joins the pantheon of real-world organizations that really needs to send Tom Batiuk a cease and desist.

  5. J.J. O'Malley

    Cushlamachree, ’tis honored I am, Billy me boyo, to win such a prestigious award. I chalk it up to a half-century-plus of comic fandom and much familiarity with the SDCC logo, and JUST enough computer knowledge to know where said logo wouldn’t appear on an official e-mail. But enough braggadocio…

    As for today’s edge-of-the -seater mystery antagonist: Could it be special guest star Kirk Douglas as hobo Chester J. Lampwick, who will claim to be the TRUE creator of Starbuck Jones? Maybe Ruby Lith’s long-lost abandoned son, Mono? Professor Hyde-White? And yes, the fact that they are saying out loud to “make it to Comic-Con” in spite of what’s on their computer screen proves that Battyuk either doesn’t notice what’s right in front of him or is so in love with dialogue written a year in advance that he can’t bear to change a single word.

  6. The Nelson Puppet

    Awards, book signings, band directors, pizza, komix books…rinse and repeat ad infinitum…

  7. Mr. A

    Hmm…since Flash and Ruby only met recently, this mystery character is probably connected to only one of them, not both.

    I’ll go out on a limb and say it’s Ruby’s estranged husband/lover/baby daddy. He’s never been mentioned in the strip before (to my knowledge), but we know that Ruby has a daughter named Amber Lith, and babies don’t grow on trees. And consider the plot implications: if Batiuk does intend to pair Flash and Ruby off, bringing in an old flame would be a perfect way to inject some drama into the proceedings. Wouldn’t be Batiuk’s first love triangle.

  8. Charlie

    Angels, we’re headed to Comic-Con.

  9. Lord Flatulence

    Ruby Lith’s name should have a little heart over the “i”.

  10. Dood

    The wholly unsatisfying, boring, lame-ass game is afoot!

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    Um, doesn’t the @home tag imply that it is a virtual event?

  12. robertodobbs

    Let’s look at the few clues… A common sharpie, too-long post-it notes, a ball point pen, 2 #2 pencils, one upside down… I don’t think it’s an artist. Les signs his autographs with a ball point pen. I’m going there.

  13. Banana Jr. 6000

    Maybe it’s the person who was going to be elected to the Hall of Fame, but was kicked out at the last minute so Ruby and Flash could get in. And he’s going to San Diego to kill them all.

    I can dream, can’t I?

  14. Banana Jr. 6000

    It’s interesting how the official headline says they’re not being elected to the Hall of Fame, but rather the HALL of FAME! Because COMIC BOOKS are so AWESEOME! A press release wouldn’t use internet-style superlatives like that. Tom Batiuk needs to GROW the hell UP!

  15. Banana Jr. 6000

    We all know this yet-unseen character is just a tease. Whoever it is will be some damned 90-year-old comic book artists. He (because it’s definitely a man) will drone for weeks about the comic books bullpen in 1952. He”ll move to the Akron suburbs, get a job at Atomik Komix, and become yet another font of silver age comic book wankery until the end of time.

    But think about what the bait is. Today’s comic suggests a new antagonist. That’s it. Just an antagonist. We don’t know anything about who they are, what they want, what their motivation is, or what they might do. But Funky Winkerbean is so devoid of action that the tiniest hint of someone starting conflict – even over the tired subject of silver age comic books – is a red-letter event. Look at us all guessing, seriously and frivolously, who the mystery guest is and what they might do.

    Following the Funkyverse makes you feel like the prisoners in Plato’s Cave. They are so starved for entertainment that they assign names and personalities to the shadows on the wall.

  16. Sourbelly

    It’s probably just Batton Thomas, assuming he ever left Komix Korner.

  17. newagepalimpsest

    Congratulations, J.J.!

    I’m going to guess that the mystery character is… One of the guys from the old-timey workplace illegal-porn watching parties that Ruby pranked. He is still so angry about Bambi that he has already informed Disney about her (also-illegal) workplace showings, and will attend Comic-Con just so that he can watch Interpol drag her away in handcuffs!

    • William Thompson

      Rubella’s “Bambi” film could have been one of the cut-down eight millimeter versions that Disney sold. Private viewings were legal, and even if they weren’t, the statute of limitations would have run out after all these decades . . . . so, yeah, Batiuk would probably do exactly what you’ve described.

  18. Scott J Lovrine

    If Ed Crankshaft didn’t blow all his money at Beans End, he could buy one of these: https://www.unnecessaryinventions.com/toilet-paper-quota-controller/

    Posted this here because I don’t know of a “Son of Stuck Cranky” page.