ComicBookHarriet

Mort-uary Madness

Holly’s thousand yard stare into the middle distance is absolutely haunting today. If she actually managed to look at her son, she would realize that he seems to have de-aged about ten years.

It’s also seemed strange at first that Funky has pulled up a wooden chair rather than sit on the couch with his father. But then again, I wouldn’t want to be sitting on anything contiguous with my father’s loins when discussing carnal matters. Also Funky is probably afraid of getting crabs.

Looks like the rest of the week will be this conversation between two doughy-faced doppelgangers barely differentiated by hair color. Yay. My booze budget will be through the roof.

The Unfair Penitent.

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Yes Funky, you are living proof that your father had intercourse with your mother at least once. That is, in fact, how humans reproduce. Not the asexual budding process that you seemed to have assumed for the first sixty years of your life. I would say we need a paternity test to be sure it was Mort who knocked on heaven’s door to bring to earth your doughy face, but given the the family resemblance, we can safely go with Nasus semper certa est.

This is nearly unbearable. However, let us at least attempt to learn and grow from our pain.

According to Webster’s online: “Lothario comes from The Fair Penitent (1703), a tragedy by Nicholas Rowe. In the play, Lothario is a notorious seducer, extremely attractive but beneath his charming exterior a haughty and unfeeling scoundrel. He seduces Calista, an unfaithful wife and later the fair penitent of the title. After the play was published, the character of Lothario became a stock figure in English literature. For example, Samuel Richardson modeled the character of Lovelace on Lothario in his 1748 novel Clarissa. As the character became well known, his name became progressively more generic, and since the 18th century the word lothario has been used for a foppish, unscrupulous rake.”

[insert barf emoji here]

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Comic Book Harriet back again. I stayed up late waiting for this strip to drop.

I am now drinking heavily in an attempt to simultaneously write about and forget it.

So Mort’s regeneration has extended from mind, to body, to virility. And now the nursing staff assume he is completely capable of remembering safe sex instructions from his son… and taking Mort’s ability to consent for granted.

You remember when Mort’s Alzheimers was so bad he was reduced to a blankly staring, practically non-verbal, vegetable in a wheelchair that couldn’t even recognize his own son? I really really REALLY wish he’d stayed that way. Because this week is going to be agony.

At last the collection is complete.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Today we get a wonderfully detailed Sunday strip about an absolutely mundane thing. You’d think that if DSH John was easily annoyed by Crazy Harry’s personality they wouldn’t be able to work together long. I mean, it’s not like they ever have customers in the store to distract them from each other.

I assumed that “Mr. Monster” was a fake comic book, but the Dark Horse logo piqued my curiosity, and sure enough, Mr. Monster is a real comic book. And the art today does a decent job of copying the front cover of issue 2.

Never heard of this comic before, which means it is insufferably obscure. Of course Tom Batiuk would devote an entire Sunday to comic book hipsterism.

https://www.mycomicshop.com/search?TID=263261

Well, it’s certainly been a interesting couple weeks, and an apt time for me to be at the wheel. But I really can’t take it anymore driving the Stuckfunky bus so I’m going to tuck and roll and hope that Epicus Doomus can grab the wheel and get us back on track.

Scintillating Spinthariscope Action

Link to Today’s Comic.

As Stuckfunkian William Thompson pointed out earlier this week: “The ring is safe now; after seventy-one years, the polonium-210 isotope (which would have been a fraction of the commercially-available polonium back then) will all have decayed to lead. Just like this strip.”

Though lead isn’t the ‘safest’ material to have inside a children’s toy, at least it’s not radioactive. But this also means that there won’t be any polonium alpha particles left to strike the zinc sulfide screen and create the light flickering. So I’m guessing tomorrow we’ll be blessed with a Sunday Strip of speech bubbles over black as all three of these guys cram together into a pitch black closet hoping to see the tiny flickers of an atom ‘splitting’.

Which is really false advertising to begin with. Polonium 210 is named because it has an atomic weight of 210, meaning it has 210 protons and neutrons in the nucleus. In order to become lead, it sheds two protons. If a 210 pound man lost two pounds, you really couldn’t say he’d been ‘split’.

What they should be worried about is the ad Chester is holding. That paper is GLOWING with radiation! Darin already takes after his mother in so many ways, he doesn’t need cancer too.

But, then again, maybe he deserves it, because in panel three Darin appears to be stroking his chin with the tiny severed hand of a child .