Author: TFHackett

Set Up to Fail

Irony. It’s a word whose definition has been tortuously stretched since the mid-1990’s. So I don’t know if this situation is truly ironic, but boy, don’t you bet Cindy would love to have back that Channel One News set that she so blithely gave away to Westview’s high schoolers? I’ve seen hostage videos with more elaborate staging than what passes for a “news set” at buddyblog. All their budget must have gone into the signage on the building’s facade. Cindy, who yesterday was cracking snide about her boss’ youth, is taken down so many pegs that it’s surprising Batiuk didn’t resort to those Benday dots on her cheeks signifying shame or nausea. Or both.

Echoes of a Summer

California! Home of palm trees, bicycles and bottled water. Cindy has picked up and relocated here, in a desperate bid to be near her younger, movie star boyfriend, but also having accepted a vaguely defined job with an undetermined salary from an internet startup who hired her because she was affordable. And not until she arrives on her first day does she meet, and proceed to dismiss, her new boss, who resembles a catatonic and even more androgynous Summer.

What a Jukeoff

TFH here, starting things off with a hat tip to SoSfDavidO and the rest of the guest author rotation for bringing you the daily snark!

Guest Page Turner Author
June 27, 2015 at 1:50 am
So Funky had the band box repaired…[b]ut he repaired the Bandbox specifically to watch these individuals dance…[i]nstead, they are jamming to the music from the jukebox. Which didn’t need fixing…[a]nd probably worked all along.

I’ll bet Les’ friends cringe anytime he starts a sentence with “I don’t know if you guys know this, but…” With Westview’s cultural totem refurbished and restored to its place of honor, Montoni’s is once again “alive with music”, if not with paying customers. Naturally Les, the walking Wikipedia, cannot resist using the occasion to school his lessers on the history and etymology of the jukebox, and is chastened by Funky—Funky!—for being a buzzkill.

That’s Note Funny

What are you doing, Harry? Didn’t you retire sometime during Act II? Perhaps Harriet, exhausted by her husband’s ceaseless conjugal demands, has finally kicked him out of the house. Luckily, he keeps a desk in the wing of Westview High that bears his name. Or maybe he just sneaks in and parks his ass at Becky’s desk while she’s one-armedly conducting the band.