Friday, September 30

Alas, today’s strip was not available for preview, so I’ve once again fired up the WABAC Machine and gone back 30 years. Here’s what was happening on September 30, 1986:

A band plot, really? It seems like every time I fish an old FW strip out of the archives it is in the middle of yet another story arc about Dinkle’s megalomania…

In this installment, the Westview High School Marching Band is performing at halftime during a Monday Night Football game in Cincinnati. In order to force ABC to televise the performance, Dinkle sabotages the broadcast. He cuts the ABC network feed so that highlights of the weekend games can’t be shown, kidnaps a coach so that there will be no one to interview, and has the president of the Band booster club hijack the Goodyear blimp to make sure that the aerial cameras stay trained on the band. The only fallout from these felonious acts? The booster club president is jailed and the band members have to sell extra candy to bail him out.

Still more realistically portrayed than this whole Starbuck Jones movie thing.

Winters Is Nigh

Unlike Mason, I was totally expecting Cindy in today’s strip. I did not expect her to be on her third tank top this week, so that’s something.

Cindy’s tepid response to Mason in the second panel is obviously driven by her insecurity, which is especially heightened when the subject of Smokey The Bear’s greatest nemesis, Marianne Winters, is brought up. That’s been the theme all week and it sure ain’t changing now. She, however, does have a worthwhile reason to be irritated with Mason here.

Cindy is on set to shoot for this Cliff Anger documentary that buddyblog’s young, hepcat managers inexplicably think is relevant to its audience of online news consumers and Mason, after hearing this, follows that by claiming that this is a good day for her to be on set… because he’s shooting his first scenes with Marianne Winters today. What?

Why is it a good day for Cindy to be shooting her Cliff Anger documentary on set? Is Cliff even on set today? Has his “small role” even been written yet? If these are Cliff’s “first scenes” with Marianne Winters then why did Mason talk about them sharing the car explosion scenes shot months ago in Cleveland?

Bipolar or not, that’s worth a Rex Morgan pissyface.

Ha! Ku

Reading Today’s strip
“Cindy is getting old” arc
Is, well, getting old

Mason seems secure
Despite his inheriting
The late Bob Hope’s nose

Lovely beach-front porch
Empty despite Mason’s wealth
Just a pair of ferns

Interesting term
“Laugh lines” sure does not describe
Jokes in this comic

Cindy’s black tank top
Last appeared in Monday strip
Still a boring dream?

At least the sofa
Is not covered with squiggles
Never a good look

Beautiful Dreamer

Today’s strip is part of an Act III Cindy story arc and, as 90% of such strips are, it is centered entirely around her fretting about her looks. You know, I’m pretty sure that’s what most of her Act I story arcs were about as well, so I guess we can’t say that TB isn’t at least a little nostalgic for the light-hearted earlier days of Funky Winkerbean.

This is the fourth story to feature Cindy and Mason since they became engaged (remember that?) back in December, and three of those four story arcs have heavily involved Cindy being insecure about her looks.

Anyways, engagement usually leads to a wedding… not that you would know with these two, who don’t appear to even be in the planning process. I typically wouldn’t complain about this as I find fictional weddings (and, especially, fictional wedding planning) generally uninteresting. The alternative storylines, however, have been about Cindy’s insecurity, that dang Starbuck Jones movie, or both of those things. Bring on the dress shopping and DJ selecting!

Nightmares… And Other Tales From The Batiuk Bungle

Today’s stri-uh-YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OK, maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it will help if I picture Cindy blinkin-

Don't worry, she can't steal your soul. If you read Funky Winkerbean, it has already been stolen.

GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  That actually makes it worse, moving this thing from “terrifying drawing on a balloon wearing a wig” to “living creature”.

I don’t really know what is going on here, nor do I want to. I only know that I won’t be sleeping for the better part of a week.