Tag: Cody

Cardigan Vet-er

What is this? New named student characters in today’s strip? A rare sight indeed.

I think our last new named student character was Travis Tanner, who we have not seen since Bull told him to go back to class back in November 2014. I like to think that Travis left Bull’s office, went right past his classroom, and did not stop walking until he reached whichever ocean Westview High School’s front doors face. Good for him.

Anyways, Les seems to think he’s hosting a revival of “The Dating Game” with today’s panel 1 expository dump. Apparently, he is the faculty sponsor of “The Bleat” (which I guess is what TB believes to be the “modern” equivalent of a school newspaper), a position he takes so seriously that he is letting Owen and Cody decide which of these three oddly-named freshmen make up the broadcast’s staff after they finally graduate.

Let’s see, we have:
Contestant #1 – Maris Rogers – Maris is presumably the blonde in the foreground and is very thankful her parents didn’t name her Ruth Babe. Owen has already chosen her, but Les informs him that he will still have to play the game because the syndicate requires the show to fill its entire time slot.

Contestant #2 – Bernie Silver – Bernie may or may not be a vicious mid-century London gang leader looking to add Westview High School to his criminal empire by seizing control of the media. He sports a winning smirk.

Contestant #3 – Logan Church – Logan is “eclectic” because she thinks that is what high school kids who wear cat-eye glasses and over-sized earrings call themselves. Chien, sitting in a dark room far from Westview with a smoldering cigarette in her left hand, is not impressed.

Gallup and Doper

Just look at today’s strip. Kids these days… I tell ya.

With their chullos and their scarves and their short haircuts and their closed circuit television broadcasts and their disagreeable opinion polls and their polka dot boxer shorts that they expose to the world because they refuse to properly tighten their belts because they are all disrespectful punk hoodlums who will destroy America after we retire.

Those ungrateful seniors want to chose where they go on a trip meant to celebrate their impending graduation. How dare they?
Not that Owen, Cody, and company have earned much sympathy from us over their decade at Westview High School, but given that they endure Les and Kablichnick on a daily basis, they are definitely the lesser of two evils here. I politely applaud their efforts to stick it to the administration via sarcastic opinion poll.

So Does “Listless Pile Of Crap”

Link To Today’s Strip

Again, we see yet another Westviewian completely stripped of all free will and miserably going through the motions as if there’s simply no other way. Which kind of sums up FW’s entire run rather perfectly when you think about it. It’s almost impossible to believe that he’s somehow grinding an entire week out of this pitiful premise, yet here we are. And now he’s so desperate for content he’s resorting to using CODY to deliver his painfully bad class ring gags. He really needs to get out more and expand upon this “whatever happens to fall within my field of vision at any given time” approach he has to dreaming up these premises of his.

It’s Been Done

Link To Today’s Strip

Cody really should check in with Wally here, he once made a paper ring so nice he actually used it to convince a woman to MARRY him! True story!

But enough about war veterans without dogs, that’s so last week. This week we’re still immersed in the compelling and socially relevant world of high school class ring purchasing. I’m amazed that he never chose to tackle this issue before, seeing how it’s the most mundane premise imaginable and all. It’s just such natural BanTom fodder. I’m anxious to see just how many hilarious ring-related gags he has lined up for use in this premise. My current guess is zero and I’m standing pat with that.

Ring, A-Ding-A-Ling

Link To Today’s Idiocy

Special thanks to the SoSF team for steering us all the way into February! Time sure does fly when NOTHING WHATSOEVER is happening, huh?

Once again Guy McAuthor tackles yet another contemporary issue facing young whatevers today, as he at long last uses his delightfully poisonous felt-tip to take on the scourge of…class rings. Boy, I was wondering when he’d finally go after those evil Jostens folks. Nice to see BanMan taking off the gloves and aiming for such a deserving target.

Anyway, Owen (the inexplicable host of “The Bleat”…har har) is looking at this all wrong, as a class ring will be a nice investment that he can pawn to buy a new chullo or some valuable comic books down the line. And if he can’t afford one now, no worries, as he can always buy one next year or the year after that or the year after that. And what the f*ck is Dick Facey sneering about? Are the morning announcements cutting into his smug wordplay time again? And why is he dressed like a parking valet? What a dick.