They say this Crankshaft is a bad driver… (shut your mouth)

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! TODAY’S STRIP IS PART OF A CRANKSHAFT CROSSOVER! HE IS EXPLICITY MENTIONED BY NAME AND SOME CHARACTERS EXPLAIN THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO HIM AND HOW THEY KNOW OF HIS ANTICS SO THERE WILL BE NO CONFUSION ABOUT THIS BEING A CRANKSHAFT CROSSOVER!

When meeting someone for the first time, it is common to expand further on a topic in which you discover that you share knowledge. Even so, a crotchety troll of a school bus driver (who neither of you has ever actually met, by the way) would seem to be a topic of conversation that that both parties would want to avoid. Indeed, I intend to teach my children to go out of their way to avoid discussing religion, politics, and Crankshaft in unfamiliar company.

Tuesday, March 1

I am very sorry to say that today’s strip was also not available for preview.

It is probably reasonable to assume that we will still be at Westview High School and that the typical inertia of the Batiukverse will be maintained. Maybe we’ll get a week-long commitment to yesterday’s Crankshaft crossover or maybe we’ll get more jokes about students being scapegoats from a guy who frequently singles out the younger generation for all of its alleged terribleness (i.e. making students scapegoats…)

I’m bristling with anticipation to find out. By the time you all read this, I expect we will be collectively bristling with justified antipathy.

Monday, February 29

Today’s strip was not yet available for preview.

Given that it is Leap Day, would it surprise anyone if today’s strip was phoned in? Probably 3 more panels of Sunday’s barking live dog.

Hey, maybe we’ll get to know the new students introduced last week a little bet… ha ha, sorry, I crack myself up sometimes. I’m easily amused, which says a lot about this strip’s quality when I don’t laugh reading it.

It’s A “Cross-over”!!!

Link To Today’s Schlock

Get it? The bowling ball “crossed-over” into Rachel’s lane! “Cross-over”! Har-dee-har-har! Oh man, BanTom was on a real “roll” here, “bowling” us over with one of his patented side-“split”-ters. He’s the comic strip author you just can’t “pin” down! I may have to order a copy of this one so I can “frame” it as soon as I have some cash to “spare”. This kind of humor is right up my “alley”.

Anyhow, Ed’s band of boring morons have apparently just handed Funky’s band of boring idiots the coveted Holiday Tournament trophy via their sheer ineptitude. Quite a story and well worth the five days he spent telling it. Hopefully Jessica learned her lesson here and never inquires about those greasy old Montoni’s photos again. That girl is in dire need of a hobby. Might I suggest documentary film-making….oh, yeah, that’s right. Never mind.

Notice how CS characters are front and center in FW but not the other way around. Also notice what a piece of crap “Crankshaft” is, although you already knew that. I wonder which one draws more readers? I mean sure, we’re talking about maybe forty people here, give or take, but still. Everyone who filled me in regarding CS was right on the money, what a nasty piece of business that whole mess is.

But isn’t it pretty funny how badly he botched his comic strip titles? “Funky Winkerbean” and “Crankshaft”…oh man, when you think about it those are two really bad unmarketable titles right there. One is just stupid and the other couldn’t possibly be more innuendo-laden. I personally can’t wait to stop having to type the word “crankshaft”, even initializing it is annoying at this point.

Bowling For Imbeciles

Link To Today’s Masterpiece

So they went out and bought bowling shirts, THEN discovered that one of their teammates can’t bowl at all? Brilliant. With BanTom’s vast archives of gags like this one, no wonder has needs two daily strips, as one just ain’t enough. I’m assuming that those “Crankshaft” characters have names but please, don’t share them, OK? I think I’m happier not knowing.

Seriously though, what a shitty gag. Why even bother with doing a crossover if you’re not going to put anything into it? Like with that Dick Tracy arc earlier this year, it was so listless and so lifeless you could only wonder why he did it in the first place. I mean it couldn’t possibly be any easier for him, you have Crankshaft show up on Monday, act like a real dick on Tuesday, then repeat it four more times. Apparently you’re supposed to be reading CS this week as a sort of FW “companion piece” that helps the “jokes” make more sense but frankly that seems like way too much trouble IMO. And there still isn’t any payoff even if you do, but you already knew that.

But if you’re a glutton for punishment…here ya go.