Darin – Page 22 – Son of Stuck Funky

I Stand in Line

August 21, 2018:

As we saw in the previous Skyler arc, Chuck Ayers (as with Batiuk when he was drawing this strip) appears to be simply incapable of drawing cute, appealing children (Burchett wasn’t good at it either). But there is no cartoonist better at depicting decrepit senior citizens than the man who inked Crankshaft for 30 years! Just look at the array of codgers (including the cartoonist himself, with cap, classes, and grey beard) in today’s strip, and in the very similar one-paneler from less than a year ago. Looks like Darin’s chosen to visit another of Cleveland’s 20 or so P.O.’s, but at least he’s remembered to wear his light blue “Going to the post office” shirt.

The Wearying

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, just look at that expression on Ann’s face in panel two. That’s the face of someone who has had it up to here with her step-son, and is about to use her step-grandson as a bludgeon.

Wow, so your “wife” is going all California on you. What a terrible dilemma for you. Sure wish I had your problems, jack-off. I’ve got to look after the obviously unwanted product of your sham marriage, as well as my disintegrating husband, so you can play with your Flash dollies.

There’s a definitely an unseen third panel here, with Skyler cowering in a corner while Dullard lies on the floor, his neck bent at an unnatural angle, and Ann standing over him, fists clenched white with rage.

Baby’s First ER Visit

A Children’s Book By Les Moore.

Link to today’s strip.

Don’t worry, Jessica, I’m sure you’ll be there to walk down the aisle to Skyler’s first chemotherapy session. Unless Tom Batiuk has big plans for you in store, that is.

Kind of odd how we get this little interlude between the Butter Brinkel chapters (I assume that will start up again next week). Even odder, how quickly we go from “Skyler’s in the hospital!!!” to “(shrug) It’s nothing.”

My guess is that this is, in fact, an interlude and nothing more. Because I can’t imagine that Batiuk was going to do something dramatic with Skyler and just got cold feet; this is a guy who used a stroke (Fred) and traumatic brain injury (Bull) for weeks of bathos.

No, I suspect that if Skyler had cracked his skull and Jessica had video’d in to say, “Well, that’s sure sad, Dullard, but I can’t fly out to be with him–you should see the Butter Brinkel footage I’m compiling!” people might have thought the real drama was being shunted aside for some poorly thought-out nostalgia trip. So instead, the poorly thought-out nostalgia trip takes a rest for a meaningless interlude.

And it really is meaningless. All it demonstrates is that the Fairgoods are the worst parents ever. They should be called the Fairpoors.

Something With You

Link to today’s strip.

I can’t process Dullard’s sentence in panel two. It’s really awkward, and sounds like “Is it…your shoes? Is it a bug that landed on your…shoulder? Is it a bum sitting next to you? Is it your iPhone? IS IT YOUR MINECRAFT ACCOUNT?!?”

I assume he means “Are you in the emergency room because you are experiencing an emergency?” or shorter, “Is it you?” But, “Is it you?” would leave an awful lot of white space for a word balloon drawn a year ago, and I have to guess that this would be one thing that Tom Batiuk would feel embarrassment over.

Honestly, though, he really should feel embarrassment over the last panel. Dullard flies into a frenzy over learning that his child is in the emergency room– this is a natural reaction that any parent would have.

But any natural parent would have checked in on his offspring sometime in the last few months. A good parent would do this daily, at the very, very least. Instead of sweating over the cover art for the latest issue of The Inedible Pulp.

What I’m saying is that Dullard should slash his wrists and bleed to death…not so he can save his child, but so that the next Rip Tide – Scuba Cop can have realistic blood in the water.

Long Distance Call

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, Dullard is sure blase about getting a call from Dead Lisa! And when she asks to meet him in the emergency room, let’s hope it’s to help identify Les’ mangled body.

–what? The call might not be from Lisa, but from Ann Fairgood? How is that possible, he only calls Lisa “mom!” We’ve seen this a number of times.